Back on the road again

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July 25th 2019
Published: July 25th 2019
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Woo hoo! Back on the road after the luxury of last year's cruise. The plan was to pack up yesterday and leave today by 7, just as the concrete men were supposed to arrive to lay the new path at our house. All was going surprisingly well until they arrived early and got, well, a bit in the way. Not helped by Seth's desire not to wee (asking Seth if he needs a wee, taking him for a wee, persuading him to wee, bribing him to wee etc etc ad infinitum is my actual life) as he'd rather watch the 'huge concrete mixer'. By some miracle, after one final wee check (no mummy, i don't need one) we left just 20 minutes late, yay, go us! Exactly 6 minutes later, barely on the M1, after a gleeful play with his spoils from holiday bag number one, Seth announced 'I need a wee'. Great, good job buddy..... Thank goodness for 'travel pants'! The journey was pretty smooth, the travel pants failed, (sob) the weird services in Kent got us all a little high on weed from the large number of joints seemingly being smoked just off the forecourt (no word of a lie!) and we made it to Dover.

The boat journey was good (at this point Seth still asking if we were going on holiday!) and having paid only around £456.77 for the on board meal I felt we got real value for money..... At Seths insistance, once on in dry land we had to go to the beach for a paddle (he did ask if we could go in the sea next to the boat but we chatted and he agreed it would be a poor choice) and half an hour later we found ourselves in Grand Fort Philippe, paddling in the water with dogs, kids and a jetski for company.

What should have happened next was that we went back to the hotel, had a shower, ate the food we'd sensibly got from the supermarket as a 'holiday bed picnic', chilled out and went to bed. What actually happened was.... 1) go back to hotel and shower (so far so good) 2) realise we didn't get food so suggest to man and boy that we could have pizza, head off to get pizza from quaint looking french pizza shop nearby 3) in boiling heat get to pizza shop which looks far less quaint closer up, get intimidated by group of old french guys in pizza shop so come back pizza less. 4) get back, ask lady in hotel where pizza is, get instructions in French (god bless Mr Henley in year 8 French!) go back to boys to be met with disappointment and tears at lack of pizza (up to you to decide who cried, man or boy) all get dressed again (well, i already was, even I didn't go pizza hunting in a towel!). 5) find restaurant. Not find parking place. Drive. Google pizza places after suggesting to small boy we might not get pizza and being met with tears. Many tears. Get to pizza place to find its shut. Weep a little inside. Tell Seth no pizza. More tears. Distract with option of having whatever he wants from the supermarket (just chocolate? of course son!) buy food. 6) go back to hotel for bed picnic well over an hour after first setting out. 7) breathe! You'd think after 6 road trips we'd have mastered trivial things life eating but no, apparently not!

So, food eaten, windows opened, a bit of tv, a monumental storm and it was time for bed.

Tomorrow the beach and Belgium.

Today's top tips
1} don't trust pull ups, they are not super absorbant. Car seats on the other hand, are.
2} never tell a toddler you're getting pizza till it's actually in your hands dripping cheese all over you


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