Into foreign lands

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Friday, May 27, 2005

Today I left London to head to Portsmouth, England where I took a Brittany Ferry to Caen, France. Actually the ferry lands in Ouistreham (wee-stra-ham.) I had initially thought that the ride only took about 4 hours but, it actually took about 6 hours to cross the channel, with the time change it ended up being 7 total hours. That doesn’t seem too bad until you consider that I was on a ferry with about 500 school children ranging in age from 10-13. Kids of those ages are not behaved or very quite. Compounded by the fact that every one of them was French. Six hours of screaming French children is more than any man should have to endure, but I think that it bothered all of the British passengers more than it did me. My ferry didn’t leave until 3:30 in the afternoon so that put me into France at 10:30 at night. Now, I should have learned something from my hectic night entrance into England, but apparently I didn’t. I found out on the internet while I was waiting for the ferry that there was a train leaving Caen at 11:08 pm. I figured that I could just grab a taxi at the dock and catch the train to my final destination of Bayuex (Bah-yoo), France. Boy, was I wrong. Well, At least half wrong. I went to the information desk to see about a taxi and there was a large Frenchman standing there who resembled a dirty Dennis Franz, only fatter. There was also another man, his wife, and his two children. It was then decided that we would all just share a taxi to Caen. What I failed to realize at the time was that Caen was about 30 miles away from Ouistreham. We all packed in the taxi, the driver, the other man, and myself, were in the front and his family was in the back. We had just pulled out of the ferry parking lot when I saw a sign saying “Caen 42 km.” From talking to my companion in the front seat I found out that he had been born in France but now resided in England and was on vacation with his family, and he thought that I would make it just in time. I was already starting to have doubts until I saw the taxi driver’s driving. This driver was definitely a credit to his profession. He bullied every other car on the road in Ouistreham, went into the other lane to pass people stopped at a red light, passed people on the right, and did about 90 mph all the way to Caen. If someone did not get out of the way fast enough on the highway he pulled all the way up to them until he was less than a foot away, honked his horn, and flashed his lights at them until they finally moved out of the way. The entire time that this is going on my companion is idly chatting away with me about where I’m going, what I’m going to do, etc., and telling me all about his family. It was obvious that he was enjoying the ride because was continually laughing as the taxi driver did something new to bully another driver or get around them in a new way. Now, if this taxi ride wasn’t enough to worry me the meter in the taxi definitely was. I had figured on a short trip (only about 10.00 euro or so, that is $12.50) so I had only gotten 30.00 euro before I left. By the time we were three quarters of the way there the meter already read 32.00 euro. While I tried to figure out how I was going to pay this taxi my companion spoke up and suggested that I just give him about 12 euro for the trip. I objected and said that that was too little but he wouldn’t take any more. I only had a 10 and 20 so he ended up only taking 10. We finally arrived at the train station and it was 11:00pm. My companion and I got out of the taxi and he helped me with my bag and shook my hand wished me a good luck and a good trip. I thanked him profusely for his kindness and thanked the taxi driver for his superb driving skills. As I walked away from the taxi I could hear his little boy as his wife “Is daddy making friends with foreigners again?” I had arrived with 8 minutes spare. I spent the first four of those minutes trying to buy a ticket to Bayuex. Thank God the machine could be switched to English (it’s like an ATM), but the machine would not take my debit card. On most trains you can buy your ticket on the train both in Europe and the U.S. so I figured I would be o.k. I knew from the machine that it would cost about 5.20 euro for the ticket and a little more for me because I was buying it on the train. Also in France every train ticket must be validated with a machine that you stick your ticket into before you go out on the platform. There is also a fine if your ticket is not validated. I spent the next 2-3 minutes trying to decipher the message board of train arrivals and departures, because obviously I had never seen one before and it was entirely in French. The message board said that the train was about 10 minutes late, so it wouldn’t leave until 11:18. So, after all of that rushing I had plenty of time to make the train. I went out to the platform and waited for the train with everyone else. The train came, about 500 people exited at once right in front of me and about 30 seconds later the train left. After everything I went thru just to get to this train, and all the luck that I had, I still missed the train because I didn’t know that I only had 30 seconds to push through the crowd to board the train. I ended up staying at the Rex Hotel across the street and butchering French language with the owner who did not know a single word of English besides “yes” and “no.” In the morning was another train and I would try again.

Lessons for the day: 1. Do not travel at night in Europe. Especially if you don’t know what you are doing. It will only give you and ulcer. 2. Always be nice to foreigners. They can be a lot of help in a pinch. 3. If you have to, in France, punch people in the face to make them move out of your way so that you can board your train.

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