Sheila she has come to arrest you

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hello

We have arrived at our next placement and here live a retired couple called Fred and Marian. Fred has alziemers and can't do anything for himself so Marain cares for him 24/7 with no help at all. This placement is a little difficult because Im pretty sure Fred doesn't know who we are of why we are here and is constanly calling us different names and if im honest i don't think he wants us here. Earlier i was having a shower and could hear him shouting 'why is she in there - tell her to get out!!' and it was a little awakward, yesterday a lady came to visit and he insited she was here to arrest us and forced us out the front door with no shoes or socks in the pouring rain holding a cup of tea. Its heartbreakingly sad and although i have no doubt that us doing painting and gardening is massivly beneficial to his wife i also feel we are making it hard for him.

Sometimes its just a little difficult to fit into someones lifetsyle, like a missing piece of a puzzle, other times its easy and effortless.

Davy and I have been talking and our plans to go travelling around Italy and Spain in June may change. I don't wanna find a job and start earning money all over again just to give it up, build a tower and knock it back down. I wanna find a flat and stay there, i left home 5 years ago and have moved 4 times since, i think its time too settle, make a house a home and stay put. I wanna 2 bedroom place with a garden, i wanna decorate it and have furniture that matches and in time I want to start a family and already have a bedroom for them. Theres many countries that we will see but i think we will just go on holidays there, maybe camping. Im not ruling out helpx as this expeience has been amazing but i like having a monthly wage and being able to choose what i eat and when, i love my independance more than i thought. I don't for a second regret leaving the flat in swanley that was our first home together and was a nice little place but wasn't perfect and i felt ready to leave it to do this and am super glad i did but 4months of living from a rucksack and sharing other peoples homes is enough. I don't wanna have to ask for a drink or a shower all the time, or have permission to go on a walk or to leave the house. I want to be free. Just gotta make sure we save hard and give up some things and calculate everything so we can afford holidays but the urge to give up everything and just go has been fulfilled successfully. Back to reality.



Sarahxxx

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