Feb 15th

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Paris Feb 15th

“Be alive when you are alive”
that’s one of my favorite quotes because it’s my daily goal. I have times where I’m just living barely drifting but my goal is to be alive and to feel alive every single day. I feel so alive. Whether its sitting at the beach and hearing the waves or sitting at a café in Paris I feel completely alive because I genuinely and wholly want to be there. I love days that you wake up and have no idea what you are going to be doing at night. I love it when life just kicks in. or when you meet someone and they introduce you to something or someone else…. Life is so beautiful with all of its randomness … serendipity

Character
You have people in this world (and there’s nothing wrong with them) but they just don’t have any personality. You can hang out with them forever and you’ve never heard their opinion, they have no emotions, they kind of just go along with whatever everyone else does. And that’s fine if that’s what they want. But I want to have personality, build character, imperfect but me.
My crazy life that I have gotten shit for has helped me build character. In the past two years I have lived in Strasbourg, Sunny Isles, West Palm, Aventura and now in Paris.
Just this summer I was tipping the bellboy to take my groceries up to my room and now I don’t even have my own bathroom and I’m cleaning my underwear in the sink.
People ask me if I ever get scared: of course I get fucking scared! It’s completely normal. And yes I do feel lonely sometimes and I do miss home (whether its France or Miami) but I feel energized and motivated when I have no idea what im getting into. Its like a game or a mission. Bring it on.
I think that you really know what your capable of when you are thrown into a completely unknown situation and you have to adapt. Fuck I hate flying I really do I hate it but I have flown so many times and its one more experience that I have under my belt. That’s what makes people interesting at the end of the day…. All of their stories… whether is a divorce, a drunken tattoo or a scar. It builds character. It makes people interesting and unique.

Luck / Excuses
There’s one thing that frustrates me like nothing else and that when people make excuses not to do something and when you do it they say that you are lucky….
Example, I know many girls who say “your so lucky to be single you can flirt with whoever” well, here’s an idea… why aren’t you single? And then they make up some stupid excuse “well, you know we’ve been together for almost a year now” shit great idea… waste another year with someone you don’t want to be with
People tell me that im lucky to be in France (and trust me I am so grateful and I thank god every chance I get) but why am I different than anyone else? I wasn’t given this trip. I had to find loans, convince my parents, find an apartment but hey I did it. I have a goal and then I take steps to meet that goal….I don’t have any special skills I just don’t make excuses. If I don’t want to me in Miami then I find ways to get my ass to France. Or people are like “your so lucky you go to the beach all the time’ dude if you wana go to the beach then go. A million people live by the beach and don’t go. Stop making excuses for not doing shit…luck doesn’t come to you… you gotta make it happen. You want something go for it and don’t make excuses…. And then someone will think that you are lucky for doing what you set out to do.
And yes, I do feel “lucky” for being able to go after my goals whatever they may be and to have friends and parents who support me. But impossible is nothing (aly) in life, sometimes you just gotta try harder or differently.
I do feel lucky/blessed to be born in the United States, have food, an education, good health and to be loved.

Judge me
I don’t know why im posting this online. Some form of narcissism maybe. I’ve always written down my thoughts and I also want to keep people back home updated but why exactly am I doing this? Like I said have no clue. Not everything I write will be put online nor will I write peoples names. Some things are meant to be kept personal. I know that I will get judged for this. This was my opinion at the time that I wrote it. My opinion depends on a million things. It can even change from day to night. I might even change this just like Montaigne did to his essays . So enjoy my world and sorry for the million and one grammatical mistakes that I will make.



Beautifully Human

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