20 August 2019: No Privacy In The Privy, Slight Of Hand At The Tower, And A Cruise With Girl Scouts

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Intended to sleep in today but for some reason- the high volume, high noise traffic through the night - we were both awake, reading, at 5.30 this morning. Enjoying an open window and fresh air does have its drawbacks.

Our aim today was to catch up with the Eiffel Tower, take a river cruise up the Seine, and visit the Arc de Triomphe, leaving the smallest footprint possible. We achieved that by leaving the greatest carbon footprint possible; we caught the bus both ways. It was a five minute walk from here, the driver never took the money for the first trip, but it was packed; just a sign of things to come. There were at least 30 buses parked at the crossroads just near the Eiffel Tower, and that was a quick count.

The crowds at the Eiffel Tower were bedlam, and that was just the African vendors sell ridiculously cheap souvenirs, sunglasses and novelty items. No one under 40 seems to use selfie sticks anymore but selfies are the only way to prove you went away, apparently. I’m not going to bleat on about this, I’ve done it before and even convinced myself I’m a grumpy old man. If you need to dress up in special outfits, take photos with a sideways glance, pouting your lips, it’s Ok, unless it’s not OK. Then you retake it until it is OK. I’ll never get used to it. I’m done on selfies.

The queues to visit the top of the Tower were 50 metres long, complete with X-ray security , but really, I don’t think I could do it. I’m pretty confident with heights but you look very exposed up there. Still, the queues keep growing. You can’t even see any movement at the top it’s so far away.

One concerning activity at the base of the Tower, is the slight of hand merchants preying on gullible tourists. There was a few of them and it’s the classic 3 cups and a foam ball, shifted around at lightning speed, and then punters put up money to guess. No reserve, no minimum. You saw some big wins, but I suspect these are insiders planted to rope people in. We also saw hundreds of Euros lost in one try. Bets of 200€ were not uncommon and it took the lift of a cup to lose it. One woman lost big time and walked away upset and dazed, but she took the plunge. The police should move them on.

If you’re not climbing the Tower, it’s a 10 minute visit. We caught a boat tour that took us around the islands near the tourist centre of Paris and back to the Tower, over the period of an hour. Sitting inside, by an open window, we were joined, well more surrounded, by a large group of teenage girls from Cambridgeshire who wore scarves with woggles around them, had lots of merit badges sewn on, and called themselves Girl Scouts. As we sat consumed by the topics and the turn of phrase, curiosity got the better of me; I had to know where they were from. Cambridgeshire.

If you’re ever in England it’s worth a visit. Aside from the obvious attractions of The Fitzwilliam Museum and the Ely Cathedral, the accent of much of the population, if these girls are anything to go by, is worth the trip alone. Most of these delightful young girls sounded like Lauren from the Catherine Tate Show, except without the attitude and language. They made my cruise. The other amazing aspect of the tour was the multilingual tour announcer. This man had perfect alliteration in French , Spanish , and German, and then fell back into his strong East End London accent. He was brilliant.

Sue decided against visiting the Arc de Triomphe, but before heading back home I needed the bathroom. Don’t worry, it’s a clean story. I looked around for the facilities and found some on a cruise boat, open to the public for 50 cents. I joined the queue and assumed it was a unisex arrangement and I’d have to wait my turn. Welcome to the world of female inequality, I thought. Men are always better served than women in any public convenience. Then the attendant called me forward, passing over at least 6 women; there was a Men’s. I smugly weaved my way past the ladies, paid the attendant, only to be directed through a pair of short swinging bar doors to the single urinal, about 1 metre away, in the direct line of sight of the group I had just queue jumped. I did not look back, psyched myself up in the limited time available, and completed my task with as minimal movement as possible. I turned, head bowed, washed my hands, and shuffled back past my audience without any eye contact. Welcome to Paris. And I paid for the privilege.

The bus trip back was uneventful except for being tipped out after a few stops, without an explanation, and having to wait for another bus to come along to continue our journey. We bought jamon, cheese and a baguette at the local minimart, walked to Luxembourg Gardens, and shared a picnic with hundreds of people, relaxing and playing in the afternoon sun. Parisians are lucky to have public spaces scattered all over the city, but Luxembourg Gardens would be the equal of any. Developed in 1612 for the site of the Luxembourg Palace, it now houses the French Senate. It’s 23 hectares incorporate tennis courts, manicured gardens, a lake where minature boats are sailed by children guiding them with poles, and soft, cool lawns to relax on. After lunch on the lawn we sat by the lake in the chairs provided, read books, and people watched. If you need to see an environment where people of all colours, sizes, genders, and cultural and religious convictions get together, interact and enjoy each other’s company, you’d be at home here.

Tonight is an early one. Tomorrow we catch a fast train to Dijon where we will meet Tim for a couple of nights before moving on.

Paris is one of the most beautiful cities we’ve been to. It’s a bit of a contradiction in that, while rats might join you for dinner, and you have to be wary of where you step due to irresponsible dogs ( owners ), the buildings, natural features and people more than compensate. The stereotype you hear about the French is unfounded in my experience. There’s intolerant rude people everywhere and Paris has no more than anywhere else.

Catch up in Dijon.

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Photos

Eiffel Tower and a Peugeot
Doesn’t get any more French than that. It was used as a wedding car and the couple were away for photos

A house boat
The Seine is home to many boats and this was just one. Love the car.

Poor Notre - Dame de Paris
It’ll never be the same.

For Ezra
Three bridges in a row.

Smallest House In Paris
So the cruise guide told us.