Le Weekend du Chalet

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After an exhausting day of travelling last Friday, I arrived back home with hardly any energy and a growing sense of regret over choosing to go on the youth weekend.

Before going to bed early that evening I handed out the family's extensive amount of presents that I'd collected since being away - they were all very happy and it felt good, if not a little strange to be back with them.

The children's first response on seeing me come through the door, travel-weary and laden with bags, was an invitation to go and watch Cars 2 with them - I kindly but firmly declined. Laetitia gave me a big hug and said it was good to have me back before pointing to a plate of crepes on the kitchen table. However, my first stop was the shower.

Crawling into bed that evening at 7:30 and seeing my open suitcase with my belongings sprawled out across the floor, the last thing I wanted to think about was an energetic, sociable youth weekend away. And as I hadn't the motivation or the inclination to ask Cedric and Laetitia for a lift to the church early the next morning, I decided I'd have to walk - things just kept getting better and better.

As I set out at 8 o'clock on Saturday morning laden with a rucksack and large Lidl shopping bag with all my sleeping stuff, things didn't seem to be gettting off to a good start and the feelings I'd feared - homesickness, loneliness, sadness, began to mount to the service. I hadn't even had time to pray before leaving and I wanted the weekend to go well and be blessed - I wanted it to be a precious opportunity that I'd been so long waiting for to get to know people better. But I didn't have much hope for that as I trudged along the road in the cold early morning air.

I'd already left later than I'd intended and I knew I was going to arrive later than the 8:45 meeting time on the invitation. This worry, added to the tiredness I was still feeling made me regret more and more my decision to go on the weekend.

Passing drivers must have thought I was running away from home, but as I reasoned to myself, I gave up my dignity and interest in what other people think of me, a long time ago.

When I finally arrived at the church car park at 9 o'clock (not too late!) I was glad that no one saw me arrive on foot and hence saved the questions, sympathy and awed surprise. As I approached the assembled group and hoped my hair didn't look too out of shape, I groaned to myself, thinking that I would have to do the whole French kiss thing - I guess that was just part of the culture shake because before going home to Britain, I had no problem about doing it.

On kissing someone, they exclaimed: "Oh, you're cold". I felt like saying: "Yes, that's because I've just been walking for the past bloody hour!"

After a presentation from Vincent, Jeremie and Sephora on what the weekend would involve, we aimed to fit our large pile of belongings into the four small cars which would be transporting us to the chalet.

I had been expecting the weekend to be rather difficult for me, especially after just being home with friends and family. I was worried that suddenly to be thrown into a social situation with people who speak a different language and who I don't know very well, would be really difficult. I was anticipating difficult moments of loneliness, sadness and home-sickness. But as it turned out, it wasn't too bad - I guess I'm not the same person that I was all those months ago when I first started going to the youth group and what I once found very difficult, I actually have the strength to deal with now.

As we drove over in the car my feelings of regret over the weekend began to ease as I allowed myself to sit back and let the great Christian music and girly chatter wash over me. However, I was still exhausted and I didn't even feel pleased with myself for making it to the church without collapsing and that they hadn't all left without me by the time I arrived.

Our destination was further away than I'd thought and no one except Vincent knew how to get there so the rest of us had to do our best to follow him. This proved difficult however, especially when we got to a typical French town of narrow, cobbled streets and numerous side streets. We did inevitably end up losing him. As we sat in a car park, trying to get hold of our misplaced guide, I spotted my first storks perched up in a tree. They were absolutely enormous and seemed so out of place, as if they should have been in a rainforest somewhere. Everyone just seemed to ignore them as if it was completely normal to see such large strange birds perched up in a tree like that - I seriously regret not taking a photo!

After we'd been reunited with our guide, we made our way through the town of Munster (where the hideously smelly Alsacian cheese comes from) and up into the French mountains. It was a beautiful day and everywhere was so picturesque - it reminded me of The Sound of Music - the beautiful setting began to lift my spirits and for the first time since getting back, I began to think that perhaps the weekend wasn't going to be so bad after all.

When we finally arrived at the chalet in the middle of nowhere, we all unloaded, Vincent explained the single-rule dormitory lay-out: boys and girls separately, and then we were allowed to settle in.

I ended up putting myself in the dormitory with the 'popular' girls - I figured a sleepover might be the perfect chance to get to know them better and besides, the other girls' dormitory was WAY too small.

After the sleeping arrangements were over we had a chance to explore the beautiful and expansive grounds, which included a forest, wide open fields and a river. After a walk round with some of the others. we were reassembled by the signal of a loud whistle by 'Colonel Bapst' aka Sephora into the chalet's dining room, which reminded me of an old worldy English inn with large wooden tables, a big open fireplace and wooden benches under the small windows.

Vincent gave another leader's talk on the itenary of each day, chore arrangements and other stuff and then we were free to play the first game of the weekend. We'd already been divided into three teams and each team had their own small piece of 'territory' which contained map pieces that the other teams needed. The three goals were: protect our territory,try to collect all the pieces to the map and catch the other team members. I'm not a great runner so I decided to take on the defence part - I did however end up venturing into another team's territory where I managed to get a piece of map (I'm telling you this because it's one of my prouder moments of the whole weekend). My problem however was trying to get back to my team without being caught. But I did it, not without a lot of screaming of course. (At least the group saw one side of me which they probably didn't know existed).

After the game was over (our team won!) we headed inside for a snack. I ended up having a good conversation (some of it in English) with a boy called Mathias - one of the younger members of the group but very mature, emotionally and spiritually, I find for his age. He told me about his sound engineering course at school, his heart for France and his dream to set up a Christian business with his best friend - it was great just to talk to someone different who I've never really spoken to before. And his heart for France interested me too.

After the long snack period was over it was testimony time. I'd prepared something quickly on the plane coming over but I didn't feel very confident to share it and as I reasoned with myself, I'm going to be sharing my testimony in church in a week so was there really any point sharing it with them?

The two testimonies that we did hear were pretty inspirational - Mathias and his best friend, Benjamin. To hear two young people talk like about God always inspires me.

That evening we gathered round a big camp fire to sing songs and roast marshmellows (I took part in the latter). It made me think of the last time I'd gathered round a campfire with the youth group, on the very first night that I'd spent with them - I'd felt so lonely, sad and unnoticed. I'm glad to say there were none of those feelings last Saturday night and I'm much more at ease within the group than I used to be. Of course there are still awkward and difficult moments sometimes when I feel out of place and insecure. For me, my biggest frustration is that the group don't see me for who I really am - I guess don't get much opportunity to express myself properly and I'm always a bit reserved in large social situations like that.

Rather than huddle round the fire with the others I sat on a log just outside with Aurelie - one of the less extrovert girls of the group - perhaps that's why I like her. I asked her different things about university (always thinking about my decision not to stay in France for uni) and the Christian situation. It upset and frustrated me to hear that there aren't many things for Christian students and I wondered what I would have had the chance to do for them if I'd decided to stay here for uni (I think a part of me still wonders whether I was wrong to make the decision not to but I suppose in any decision, there'll always be that small nagging doubt and the question 'what if?'😉

The next day after breakfast we had another chance to share our testimonies - this time it was the girls - briefer and perhaps not as inspirational as the two before them but it was still good to hear them.

I was on the rota that day for preparing the lunch, with two other girls, so after the 'spiritual' time was over we set to work on making chicken curry. This proved to be a good opportunity to get to know one of the girls, Naomi, who started asking me about my time in France. It turns out she loves English and Anglophone countries. Having broken the ice with her, I felt even better about the weekend and knew it had been worth it after all, even if I perhaps didn't get other people as much as I'd have liked to have done.

After lunch we played another outdoor game - British Bulldogs (of course they didn't call it that). During the first game I ended up making it to the final four. I was pretty pleased with myself especially as I've never had myself down for being a great runner - or perhaps just no one wanted to catch me.

During the whole weekend I told myself to stay true to who I am, even if that meant being on my own sometimes and not to get too down with thoughts that I'm not really a very popular,well-liked and well-known member of the group. I also constantly reminded myself of what God had told me at soaking, that I'm a beautiful woman - this kind of knowledge comes in handy especially when you're surrounded with really pretty girls, who just make you feel so darn ugly.

After the games were over we had to set to work on cleaning on the chalet - I opted for the toilets - living with a family of four kids,nothing disgusts or horrifies me like it once did.

I think Vincent was keen to make a good impression on the chalet's owner by leaving the chalet cleaner than it had been when we'd first arrived - he even had people cleaning the windows - we'd stayed there for one night!

We finally set off for home at 16:45 that afternoon. It was a pity that we hadn't been able to stay longer but it had been a good weekend all the same, better in some ways than I'd expected. So was I glad I went? Yes, very and whether or not I 'made progress' in the group, doesn't matter - they're a great group of young people but it's not the be all and end all if I leave without being their best friend - there are more important things in life than being liked.

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