A French lesson,an unexpected party and a walk to Murbach Abbey (and a booked flight back home!)

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Way before the Christmas holidays, Lydie, one of the English teachers at school had offered to start giving me French lessons in the New Year. My first lesson came on Wednesday at 14:30. I cycled down to school with my new pair of ski gloves (bought on sale in Lidl - a purchase I'm very proud of, both for its sensibleness and price). The weather has suddenly become very cold with the same kind of morning frosts that I'm used to having back home in Winter. This makes cycling to school in the morning (something I'm forced to do if Cedric is working in the morning and I have to stay at home with the boys whilst Laetitia takes Anais to school) rather unpleasant but it also means I get to witness the early morning sunrise stretching over the big church and the all the houses in Buhl, the nearest village. Cycling on such mornings (going is easy because it's mostly downhill) makes me appreciate the surrounding area a bit more and on one such morning I was struck by how lucky I am to be here in France and I wouldn't want to be anywhere else.

Lydie has some French books designed for Christian schools from her teaching days in America. We started off with those, flicking through the basics. Despite my earlier reservations about looking at such basic French, I know it's also a good idea and as Lydie keeps telling me, I need to make sure I know all the basics so that I can then go on to progress in much harder parts of the language.

We had a really good time together and it didn't feel like work. Lydie is a really nice person and I get on well with her. We laughed so much and it reminded me of the relationship I used to have with my French teacher at school. She told me that my French is very good and that when I first began to talk to her at school she was really surprised because she had thought I couldn't speak much French at all - I think most people thought that when I first arrived but I guess I was just shy and lacking in confidence. I remember a time when I used to worry about going into town or into shops in case someone spoke to me and I wouldn't understand. But now I don't have that problem at all. It's such a great liberating feeling!

The cycle back to Rimlishof is always a killer and I have to push my bike a lot of the way. As I was turning into our driveway, Alsen, one of the boys from the refugee families, a family who we get on well with, went running into the house. It was only after putting my bike away and seeing Cedric with the children going out, that I learnt what he had come to tell us - him and his family have been given permission to stay in France for ten years!

We'd invited the family round a little while ago to have coffee and cake with us. They told us a bit about the difficulties they faced back in Cosovo where they come from. The Dad has knife marks and cigarette burns and their house was bombed. They also had a Kebab shop which was completely vandalized. And their request to stay had been turned down. As I listened to them and their situation I realized how lucky I am to have what I have but also I felt so hopeless. Cedric and Laetitia did too but they told the family to have faith in God and not give up. When they had gone we prayed for them - I knew God was the only one who could move in that situation - only He is bigger than the French government. So when I heard the news that they could stay in France for another ten years I was so overjoyed and thankful that God had answered our prayers! (It's also the first family at the centre to have received a 'positive' in one year!)

The family too were over the moon and a small party was arranged in the refugees' building with all the other families and staff from the centre. It was really wonderful. The best part wasn't the cake or the drink or even being all together. It was seeing the joy and relief on the family's faces as they kissed and embraced others around them. Maybe now they will begin to believe that there is a God who performs miracles.

On Saturday I was left with nothing much to do and to be honest I didn't have much energy for anything. So I rested and watched a dvd and then in the afternoon, me and Rachel went for a small walk up to Murbach Abbey. By then the weather wasn't so cold and the rain had returned but it felt good to get out all the same.

It also felt good to talk. I had a lot on my mind since Thursday night and I still wasn't sure whether to go home or not. I knew in my heart that I needed to and it would do me good but the expensive price of flights was putting me off. Thanks to God and His amazing provision I'd been lucky so far not to have to draw out any money from my savings account and the thought that I might have to do that soon was worrying me. I know I have a lot saved up but I know I'm also going to need that for things like uni, driving lessons and travelling. I said to God that if it was His will for me to go home, then would He help me find a cheaper flight (the cheapest I could find was £120) or that He would provide some or all of the money for me to go. The latter option seemed less likely so I was banking on the first.

When we got to the Abbey there was no one else there. It's quite an impressive building but not as beautifully decorated inside as the Catholic churches. It was freezing cold and gloomy. I think if I'd been there on my own I would have been rather intimidated. I remarked to Rachel it's not the sort of place you'd think was the House of God. Rather than being full of life, it felt dead, lonely and abandoned. If this is really how God is represented in France, it's no wonder so many people aren't interested. I thought of what Cecile had told me when I first arrived in France, about how God has been replaced by the Church in France - people here don't know what it means to have a relationship with the the living God because Catholicism and religion has killed that idea. The other day on my way to school I was cycling past one of the many Catholic monuments on the outskirts of the village - there are a lot of things like this in France, built by monks and other missionaries when they first settled in a village. I looked at the old, worn and dirty statues of Jesus on the cross and Mary standing next to him and felt God talk to me of the chains of religion in France and how He wants to break them. I felt Him tell me to go and pray there one day and ask for exactly that, for the chains of religion to be broken.

I had thought we'd merely take a quick look round the Abbey and then leave but Rachel asked if we could pray first. We sat down on some of the wooden chairs in front of what Rachel later commented looked like a giant toilet (it must have been one of those things used for baptisms) and clasped hands. We thanked God for bringing us both together and for the friendship that we have found in each other. We simply prayed what was on our heart and it struck me that in that ancient, gloomy building, God heard the humble, heart-filled prayers of two young girls in need of Him. We spoke to Him as our friend, father and master and I thought also, of how many French people have never experienced that. A part of my prayer was also regards marriage and husbands in particular, not specifically for me and Rachel (although of course that is very much a desire on each of our hearts) but for all women out there searching for someone. I felt drawn to pray about this after listening to a conversation between some teachers at school the day before. Two of them are middle-aged and still single. There are a lot of other women in church and school who are also single and I thought of Satan's war on men and marriage - a war which I know is taking place not just in France but in other parts of the world too.

After getting home and feasting on Gauffres (waffles) I thought some more about my desire to go home. I decided in the end that I needed to book the flight, whether I could find it for cheaper or not. If I've learnt anything so far this year, it's that I need to trust God in everything. If I'm worrying about finances I'm not doing a great job of trusting Him and I figured that's not how a daughter of God is meant to live. So on Sunday after a long Skype conversation with my Mum (for the first time in ages) I took the plunge and booked the flight. What relief! What liberation! And what excitement too, to think I'll finally be going home for a while! It will be so great to see everybody!

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