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Only a little more than a month ago, I was so ready to be off the ship. There was too much drama here. There was too much happening at home without me. I was tired. I needed to escape the intensity of being here.
But thankfully that passed. I’ve rediscovered all of the joyous things that ship life offers. Because there are many, many things. The past few weeks have been incredible. Great friends. Great tours. Great easy port days. Great adventures. Great discoveries.
My end of contract date for months now has been June 3rd. I’ve been preparing myself to depart then. For a bit, that seemed forever away. For the last few weeks though, it’s seemed so close. Going home has become scary. I don’t know how all of the experiences I’ve had has changed me, how I’m going to match up with my life back home, how my present being will match up with the life plan I’d created for myself. I don’t know what I am going to do beyond the few months work I have lined up. I do not know how difficult it will be to leave behind this ship world. As intense and dramatic and trying as it may be, it has become my daily life, my environment, my niche. I’m not sure how I will be outside of it anymore. These things seem very overwhelming and downright scary to me right now.
I’ve been counting down the days. Preparing myself to leave next week.
Tonight however, I learned that I will no longer be leaving on June 3rd. Instead, I am going home this Sunday, May 27th.
This terrifies me. For all of the reasons aforementioned. It saddens me. I’ve planned so many wonderful things for my last week at sea: nights at supper club with different groups of friends, one last day at Park Royale in Cozumel, a facial with Bronwyn, a snorkelling tour in Belize, one last huge group of teens . . . so much more . . . Now I won’t have any of that.
I’ve always been a sentimental person and I do things always thinking about how it’s the last time I’ll do them. Suddenly, I have to look back at the last week and think “so that was the last time”.
I want to enjoy these last couple of days. I will, I’m sure. But I feel so frantic. There is so much to do, so much to sort, so much to organize. Can I possibly do all of the things that must be done and still enjoy and savour all of the things that I will miss so much?
There are many blogs that are currently missing between the last post and this one. I’ve accepted that I will get all of those things uploaded only after I am home. There is too little time left right now to spend it on the internet trying to upload stuff. I’ll fill in the blanks later.
Right now, I need to try to sort out logistics. And most of all, try to get everything out of my final hours on this ship.
I can’t believe it’s suddenly over.
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swills82
Sarah Willett
Shock.
Okay I am also in shock. How can they do this? They just up and decide? Wow. Well, ake these next 2-3 days your best ones Netter! Guess I'll hear from ya once you're home.