Hey Gays, Get Back In The Closet, Won't You?

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NOTE TO THE READER: Just so you know, this is a rant on the unfortunate cultural acceptance of homophobic attitudes in Jamaica, because I've seen a whole lot of it lately. You've been warned, so don't be angry if you get offended. Now, that said....on with the story.

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It was directly after mass last Sunday and I was standing talking to Damien, Sheldon, and Tommy. I told Sheldon I liked his black shirt and he said that I was more than welcome to send him another one from foreign when I went home, because he originally got it in the US. I told him sure, I’d be more than happy to get him the a couple more shirts and would he like it in all the colors of the rainbow? That sent the three of them into hysterics and I immediately regretted having said it. Sheldon made a comment about not being a 'faggot' and I tried to recant my statement, saying I hadn’t meant it like that and then scolded him for his poor choice of language, but it was too late. I had launched a gay-bashing conversation which, much to my chagrin, is all-too common here in Jamaica. Sheldon started talking about how the country is doomed because of a new bill that’s been brought to the legislature.

I read about it in the paper last week: the bill concerns the legalization of civil unions, as has been done in other countries, and the man who wrote the article I had read was steadfast in opposition to the passing of any such bill. And, unfortunately, he has the backing of about 90%!o(MISSING)f the country. Thus, a Family Life Protection Act has been initiated, and a new organization named Operation Save Jamaica (as if gays and lesbians have the capability of destroying Jamaica!) has been established. Jamaica has got to be one of the most homophobic countries in the world; not only is homosexuality detested, but it is illegal. Apparently, this topic came to the forefront of the news when a police officer received a tip that a man was homosexual and barged into his house while he was with another man and arrested them both. Not only does this bring up problems of invasion of privacy - what people choose to do within the privacy of their own homes - but Jamaicans are fearful that the legalization of civil unions will mean that they’ll have to walk down the street next to two men or two women holding hands, and God forbid THAT happen. We'll probably all perish in horrible, fiery combustions for allowing such a thing to occur.

Of course, the ironic side of this coin is that Jamaicans are arguing the morality of homosexuality primarily on the basis that it attacks the family institution. This, from a country where 90%!o(MISSING)f children are born out of wedlock and 60%!h(MISSING)ave no father’s name written on the birth certificate, because the mother has absolutely no idea who impregnated her. Most girls are mothers by 18 and far too many are mothers by 15 and 16. What kind of defense of the family institution is that?? Hello hypocrisy.

I’m paraphrasing here, but the author of the article made a comment that the attitude that endorses civil unions (be it a heterosexual or homosexual union) is the same attitude that endorses child pornography and incest. Is it just me or is that a HUGE deviation from reality?? But in Jamaica, such a comment passes as acceptable. Even worse is the broadcasting of a commercial that we’ve seen numerous times over the last week. The commercial is advertising an upcoming discussion to be held on one of the news programs (think Jamaican version of 20/20) and the newscaster speaking at the end of the commercial makes a comment that homosexual legislation is trying to “slip through the back door.” This is NOT accidental innuendo and the fact that it’s been rebroadcast time and again is proof of the lack of political correctness taking hold in this country.

The conversation with Damien, Tommy, and Sheldon only deteriorated from where it started. First, they said they thought there was nothing wrong with the homophobic innuendo in the commercial for the news program. Then Sheldon said that he had two small boys to raise and he didn’t want them living in a culture where it was okay for two men to be together. At that, I asked Sheldon what he would do if one of his boys was gay. His face dropped, as though it was the most horrendous question that had ever been posed in his life. He said if he ever found out that one of his boys had been forced to do something like that, the first thing he’d do is to stop attending church. I repeated my question, reinforcing the fact that in the scenario I suggested, his kid wasn’t forced to do anything against his will, he’s gay and whatever happened, happened with his consent. Sheldon repeated his initial response again, that he’d have to stop attending church. I let my question go for the time being and I asked him why he’d stop attending church. It didn’t make sense, I told him, because the church sided with him in terms of the immorality of homosexuality. Sheldon’s answer was that he wouldn’t stop attending because of the church, but because of himself. Because he couldn’t, in good conscience, return to church after what he would have to do to the man who dared to touch his son. After hearing that answer I repeated my question a final time. What would he do if one of his sons was gay? Without even a moments hesitation, Tommy threw his right hand into the air, his fingers held in the shape of a gun, and made the unnerving and entirely too familiar sound of gunshots. Tommy, mind you, is Sheldon’s younger brother, and I found the suggestion that Sheldon shoot anyone, let alone his own children, completely incomprehensible. Sheldon glanced at Tommy, but didn’t bother to deny or even admonish his actions. Instead, he looked me square in the eye and said he’d literally disown his child. "But he’s your son!" I protested. I must have repeated that four times. " He’s your son! Their mother gets shot to death and you’d disown them without a second thought just because of who they chose to love?!" He didn’t move. He didn’t even blink. Tommy had already walked away and Damien just stood there with a stupid grin on his face because he’s seen me get upset over this very same topic before. Sheldon stood there for a while, then looked at his feet and then back at and said that he couldn’t afford to have someone like that in his family. He told me a story about someone he knew whose child was suspected of being gay. A neighbor had approached the parents and said he’d seen their son kissing another boy in the park. Less than a week later, that son was attacked at school and less than a month after that, he was stabbed to death.

It dawned on me that Sheldon wasn’t protective of his sons so much out of principle but out of fear of what could happen to them. But isn’t that an even more depressing notion: that people are afraid to be themselves not so much out of self-consciousness, but out of a real, legitimate fear for their lives? I’ve seen little kids, no older than ten, chasing after boys, throwing rocks and yelling “batty man” at them. (Batty man basically being the Patois equivalent of 'homo'.) I’ve seen the two men at church who go to great lengths to ensure that the church community thinks they are ‘brothers’, despite the fact that they live together at over 40-years-old, show up to every function together, and shake-their-groove-thangs like a couple of Madonna’s backup dancers. Why go to such great lengths to protect their status except out of fear?

I didn’t ask Sheldon any more questions, but I did realize it wouldn’t do me any good to be angry about what he’d said. Like every other Jamaican, his first reflex is that of defense. Jamaicans know nothing else. And as much as I’d like to see same sex marriages, or even civil unions legalized in every country around the world, I’m not naïve enough to think it’ll actually ever happen. And I’m starting to think that, in countries like Jamaica, such legislation would only do more harm than good. Because legal or not, attitudes about homosexuality will certainly not change any time soon, so I guess the lesser of two evils is to have a closet full of gays than an empty closet with a whole heap of homicides to explain.



Know what I mean?

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Comments

[Pedro]

Very interesting
wow, I can totally picture the situation, and even though I am totally against homosexuality and stuff, if I found out someone in my family is gay, the last thing I'd do is stop attending to church, I'd go even more to pray for he/she. And I also thing Jamaica has a huge gay population who lives in denial because as you said, they are afraid of the society's reaction towards their way of living. that is sad....

[Ms B]

Maybe you are a little naive
A bit of a righteous rant! How do you know why any one woman doesn't register her baby's father 'for the record', let alone 60% of a population? And do you have any idea at all as to why couples do not 'marry'? I think you're pretty mixed up in making your point, and are taking some delight in your own outrage.