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Published: August 2nd 2009
in the middle of the city
Well, here I am. The lone traveler has landed in her homeland. Excited? Yes. Distressed? Absolutely. Confused? Without a doubt. These feelings are something I knew would be inevitable upon my arrival to my home state. The things I saw and experienced will never be forgotten or disregarded; I intend to use what I have learned to expand my horizon through a refreshed state of mind. I know my life will be forever changed whether I chose to acknowledge these changes or not. Now, going through my daily tasks sometimes seem simple and meaningless. For example, when I go to the store and am trying to chose the right beauty product or thinking about what I might eat for dinner, it is easy to forget all the things that I have seen, heard and lived. Sometimes I want to kick myself, feeling as though I have not truly taken into account all that I have digested over the past nine months. I did not realize how easy it would be to fall back into the American culture of more is better or the bigger the better and how much we overconsume in all realms. Greed and selfishness are both things that
more gorgeous beach on the planet, hands down
I have realized define so much of our culture, I can't begin to fathom the true, deep feelings of those around the world who are looking at us. Right now, its hard to live here, knowing that so many others on the outside are shaking their heads, so many disgusted with our conceited morality.
Now, do not be mistaken, I have loved my time abroad, I tried my best to soak up all I could but the occasional bitter feeling toward my own culture are now on my heart forever. Although I love the US and know how blessed I am to live here, the bittersweet feelings toward my own reality are here to stay.
It was so strange at first, seeing all those who I have not seen in months, eating foods I hadn't smelled in ages and visiting areas that I grew up around. They all seemed unchanged, just the same as I had left them. It was though I had blinked and the experience was over; why had I seen such places and met such cool people, when it was all over I would go home to a place that would be untainted, staring
typical mask from carnaval, a national fiesta in february
me in the face when I came to it to ask " Where have you been? How was it? Did you enjoy yourself?" Of course I enjoyed myself but when those ask how was it, I want to slap them and say "DONT YOU GET IT??" I have been out the country for nearly nine months and all you can muster up to ask is how was it?? I have lived a life-changing experience; I have changed drastically and learned to appreciate how much I have been blessed. I have realized how extremely fortunate any person from the USA is, and how much we whine and complain about the most absurd things. When we are waiting in line for coffee, when the light won't change when we want it to or when someone cuts you off on the highway. I still cannot say that I have reached a stage that I disregard instances like that; I believe that might take years. But the point is, my heart and head has been flipped upside down and inside out and it is something I believe all USA college students should be required to experience in order to graduate. I took great advantage
I LOVE THE DR
my best friend
of this opportunity and I would not change that decision for the world. I want to share these things with everyone but I cannot until others actually see what it is that I saw. It is like I have changed so much and my world is Minnesota stayed exactly the same; like I pushed a pause button in Minnesota and a fast forward on my life in a foreign world. My life has changed for the better and all I can wish right now is that I will continue to have the oppportunity to travel like I have the past nine months. The more I see of the world, the more I can take back to share with others, the more I know about how blessed we all are to have what we have and live the way we are able to live. This way, I can continue to be more humbled and live my days knowing that I need to help those who have not been blessed like me. To this day, I question my existence and what it is I need to be doing on this earth, this is something I know is left in God's hands, and
my other best friend
he will lead me to where I need to be. But, I cannot say that I am not impatient.
Thank you for reading this blog, I truly appreciate your attention and when I head off into the sunset for my next venture look out for more ridiculous, unique yet very sincere entries!
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