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Published: February 6th 2020
It's 4:42am. We'll file this under Reasons I Do NOT Want To Be Awakened At Four In The Morning
Normally, I could have a lot of fun with this one: 1. Nudged by a partner to have sex; 2. Nudged by a stranger to have sex; 3. Your child calling you from the next room; 4. Any child calling anyone from the next room; 5. Earthquake, hurricane, lightning strike, torrential downpour; 6. Falling out of bed; 7. Falling in your dream, but still in your bed.
None of those happened to me forty-five minutes ago. They have all happened to me at other times in my life, but never here, in Costa Rica, where, as luck would have it, scorpions (yes, scorpions) are quite common, at night, apparently especially around 4am. As of forty-five minutes ago, I have now been stung twice by a scorpion. The first time was as a teenager, in Fallbrook, California, at home, when I was settling into a chair, tucking my legs underneath me and Kaazing!--sharp, jabbing, sting--on my ankle. I jumped out of the chair and there it was, a scorpion right there on the seat cushion. My ankle stung like a sonofagun, swelled up like crazy, and I couldn't walk for a good couple of hours.
Now I'm a retiree in Costa Rica. This time, sleeping ever-so soundly in the wee hours of the morning, my touch sensors feel something, like a little tickle, on my upper arm (upper arm--the part closest to the face). I reflexively brush at my upper arm to quell the tickle. Then I feel it, Kaazing! on the inside of my upper arm. And in the dark of my bedroom, I frantically brush the whatever-it-is away from my body. The whatever-it-is though, is sizable, as in bigger than a bed bug. I can feel it's size against my hand as I brush it. This is when my brain fully wakes up. I jump out of bed, flip on the light, and see the culprit, right there on the floor next to the bed--about four inches long, fully formed, mildly pissed-off scorpion. Now......what all eco-minded, conservationists do next is to carefully and safely scoop up the mildly pissed-off scorpion into a container and relocate it outside. My eco-minded, conservationist, however, is still asleep (It's 4am after all). So I grab my slipper and put the scorpion out of its mildly pissed-off condition using a more primitive but immediate (and, I confess, immensely gratifying, strategy--I bash it....several times. My eco-minded, conservationist wakes up about this time so I proceed to carefully and safely scoop up the scorpion into a container....but not before take a photo, of course.
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