Preface This is to be a true and honest account of the trials and tribulations of Captain V.J. Tran and his first mate Sir S.T. Roberts as they endeavour on their colossal quest to bring good health to the simple people of St Mary’s, Van Diemen’s Land. Captains log: Day 1. The troops were in high spirits as they “kissed” good bye their loved ones and set sail in the HMAS Normochromic for shores long forgotten. For the next 30 minutes the path was fraught with much restocking of tomato paste and spaghetti spirals. For once it wasn’t Viet’s map reading skills that required a turn (in conquest terms known as the “U”), but rather the realisation that a very important utility, the tennis racquets, were left in the home land. Finally, we set sail in
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