Vietnam and Cambodia

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The three amigos were forced into a brief separation for our journey to Vietnam Joes visa application to Vietnam was originally rejected due to water damage on his passport meaning he was faced with a choice of two months of solo travelling or gambling on flying to Hanoi and getting his visa on arrival. After much debate he went with the latter approach and watched 'Catch me if you can' at the hostel pre departure for some motivation.

Nick and I's 30 hour bus journey from Vientenne to Hanoi in north Vietnam was possibly one of the most eventful and painful journeys of my life. We were first confronted with the sight of our driver supping on a glass of Lao Lao whiskey on the rocks upon entering the bus. Once we were on it we were aggressively slapped on the shoulders and screamed at in Vietnamese to get to the back of the bus to the worst seats. We along with a couple of other fellow backpackers refused and sat where we wanted which resulted in some aggressive confrontations. Nicks seat choice turned out to be a shocker and he was cramped in between to Vietnamese gents who's personal hygiene was highly questionable. The journey was far from comfortable for me either though as the sleeper seats are made for people half my size, it's a bit like trying to squeeze a banana into a matchbox. Thankfully we were partially saved by a double Valium drop which meant some sleep and marshmallowiness was possible. After a few drug and live chicken pick ups and an excruciating border crossing we made it to Hanoi in one piece, although Nick probably put on half a stone from the mass Oreo consumption he embarked upon to help him through the journey.

Later that evening we had an emotional reuniting moment in the bar downstairs of Hanoi backpackers downtown (the best hostel ever) when the strawb (Joe) entered the building after making it through visa control. It was so emotional in fact that an onlooker later asked Joe how long we had been apart, I don't think his response of just 36 hours is what she was expecting.



On our first day we went to the Vietnam Army museum and Nick spotted Michael Jackson in one of the war paintings. We then spent a solid 2 hours in Stalin square trying to play keepy uppies with this weird shuttlecock thing that all the locals play with in parks and eventually got 15, elated with this accomplishment we all got ice creams and moseyed down to bar street for 5000 dong (14p) homemade Vietnamese beers with some great company from the hostel. The streets only toilet seemed to be the shower (yes the shower plug hole) of a household who loved Cartoon Network.



We then went on the infamous Castaway tour to Halong bay through the hostel and it didn't disappoint at all. We had a great tour group with people from all over the world who just wanted to party. We went kayaking, played volleyball, rock climbed, jumped of the boat (Joe attempted a flip off the top of the boat and landed flat on his back!! #MEGAOUCH) and just got really boozy and played drinking games. Another near death experience also occurred when we drunkenly dived off the boat in the middle of the first night (severely underestimating the current) and nearly started floating off into the darkness, a flung out rope from the boat came to our rescue. Halong bay itself was also pretty awesome.



Upon our return to Hanoi we immediately set off on another tour down through the country to Hoi an. This was a brilliant experience again as we got a great tour group and did some amazing things. These included visiting the most incredible national parks and the worlds largest cave, late night jungle treks (in which my head took out at least 6 different giant spier webs), watching an anti-bomb clear up charity blow up mines they found that day in the surrounding area (On average they still find 6 bombs a day which are regularly activated by children or some unlucky adults who don't realize what they are or accidently tred or antagonize them). We also visited the underground network of tunnels in Hue that the Vietnamese lived in during the war which was another sobering experience. We met a guy who was born in the tunnels and didn't leave them until he was 10 years old, he was completely deaf and mute from the constant bombings.



For the last leg of the trip we motorbiked all the way from Hue to Hoi An which took us through some amazing roads and countryside. This was probably my favorite day of the trip to date as it was such good fun and we saw some amazing sights. Hoi An itself wasn't so great as we didn't find that much to do there and I hated it as there was rats everywhere. We also had some grief checking out of our room as the hotel tried to overcharge Nick, after an hour of heated debate, in which Nick spun them the great line 'this isn't the way the world works' a comprimise was finally reached.



Nha Trang was our next stop for a night as we wanted to go the huge waterpark there and I'm glad it was only that as the place was full of scary looking Russians. As we were about to leave on our night bus I popped into a shop to get some haribo and in rocked in one of these big Russians. He had a slick back haircut, crocodile shoes, a shirt unbuttoned half the way down and he was wearing the tightest trousers I have ever seen. He walked straight to the till with the range of condoms in front of it and bellowed loudly at at the shopkeep 'why you no have the XL's for me ah? I told you last time to get them for me, these sizes are no good for us' at which point he turned and winked at the girl next to me and myself, proudly walked out the door, hopped onto his giant motorbike and loudly sped off.



The Vietnamese were in general quite fascinated by my height, regulatory staring, pointing and giggling so this was often quite strange, no more so when we went for a swim in the river of a national park. We were playing with some local children who loved jumping off our shoulders and being thrown about in the water, however one rather strange boy seemed to think it was appropriate to repeatedly try and grab my package. I don't know what they teach the kids over here but the surrounding parents didn't seem to think this odd behavior at all, so we just made a swift exit.



Our last stop in Vietnam was Saigon which we found to be quite similar in many ways to Bangkok, pushy salesman, bit smelly and we felt the urge to leave quite quickly. We did pay a visit to the War Museum though which was something I don't think we will ever forget, if I'm honest I was quite ignorant about the Vietnam war before this trip and I didn't really understand what really happened and it was quite shocking to see how wrong America were. The destruction they caused for the reasons they did are unforgivable and it was shocking to see how many people still suffer in Vietnam because of it. On a lighter note we developed a great approach to dealing with pushy salesman selling sunglasses etc on the street, just close your eyes and pretend to be asleep, works a treat.


Our first stop in Cambodia was sihnoukville. We really didn't like the place as it was full of weirdo mess heads and creepy old men (see creepy old man pic). The bars were also terrible and there wasn't much to do so we swiftly got a boat over to koh rong which is a small island of the southern coast where we chilled out for a few days in the smelliest stinkhole of a hostel called island boys. The most eventful thing to report from koh rong is that after witnessing a water buffalo relief itself whilst being walked down the main beach in the early evening, a couple of locals decided to light a candle, place it in the giant excrement and sing happy birthday to everyone that walked past. The weather was pretty terrible there so we didn't stay long and moved quickly onto the capital Phnom Penh and stayed in a great hostel with nice food which was welcomed after the diet of noodle soup and fried rice we had been living off in south Vietnam and south Cambodia. We visited the killing fields and the s21 prison (so shocking learning the details of what actually happened, can't believe some of the people responsible are only just being brought to trial now) and also watched England go out of the World Cup when Roy Hodgson did what he does best and lost a football match so this was a rather depressing day. Rather strangely Joe somehow managed to wake up lying next to me in my top bunk of our room that following morning after going to sleep in his own bed in the night, despite his best efforts he still cannot figure out why he left his own bed, climbed a challenging staircase and snuggled up next to me in his sleep. The next day we went to a shooting range and pretended to be dan bilzerian and ate a couple of 'happy pizzas'.

Our final point of call in Cambodia was siem reap where we visited a floating village where people live on what are effectively really large barges as it's cheaper than living on the land. Our guides let us have a spin on driving the boat and we also bought loads of rice for the local school. Some of the barges are schools, doctors, supermarkets etc. We also went to a Cambodian circus and got up for sunrise at Angkor wat which were both really impressive.

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Photos

Humid in Hanoi
This was after 5 mins of walking