5 Years Ago ...

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Five years ago today I boarded a plane. I got as far as San Francisco before finding out there was a typhoon and neither I, nor my lone suitcase, was going anywhere. The next day I boarded a plane again--without my permanently lost luggage--and moved to China.

My plan was to stay for a year or two and then maybe move back to the US. After two years, I was sure to have lots of career options related to China or teaching. Right?

I had no idea what I was in for.

The chaos that engulfed me made my blood race, my mind sharp, and put a spark in my eye. I was excited. There was so much to see and do and try. People to meet. Places to go. So much to try and understand. And I wanted it all at once.

Next thing I knew I was on display at morning assembly, sweating under the blazing hot Guangdong sun and just-raised Chinese flag. A thousand little eyes stared at me. I was unsure of myself and wondering if I'd made a huge mistake. But I smiled like a pro and said some nice things, and they all clapped politely. To this day, I'm sure no one knows what I said, including me.

Slowly, over time, it started to become familiar. A routine. A way of doing things. Simple understandings. My Chinese improved slightly, my gestures even more so, and my guessing skills were in top form. When in doubt, smile, look a little confused and big-eyed, blink a lot, and hope for the best.

One year became two. I couldn't imagine leaving my great adventure. Things were starting to make sense. I was feeling like I belonged in this strange microcosm of mine, however far it may be removed from reality. But it worked and things made sense. China hadn't changed but I had.

I traveled. I explored. I crossed things off my China bucket list. I felt like I was conquering a great nation in my own way, while simultaneously being prodded and poked and elbowed by the crowd. In reality, China had conquered a part of me, capturing me. I decided two years wasn't enough. I wanted more.

I changed cities and changed jobs and my way of life. While technically still in a big city, I was really in the middle of nowhere, leading a simple life. I had city excursions on a regular basis. It suited me. I liked having a slower pace of life. This had been a goal of mine, after all.

Three more years passed. My bucket list grew shorter and was finished. One day blended into the next. I'm not sure where the time went or when things changed. Probably somewhere around the end of year four. I knew change was coming, but I wasn't sure when. But I had to be ready.

My last China summer wasn't spent in China, but for one day. In that time I hatched a plan. I wasn't quite done yet. China and I would have some good times together yet. And we did. No regrets.

And then I left.

Now I'm in Bangkok, happy with life in general. How it's just a bit easier on a day to day basis. Sometimes I miss the challenges of China. I miss the thrill of accomplishing a small task without help. But then I realize that I can do that here, too, if I want. It's a choice. How I do anything here is a choice.

All of this is a choice.

Boarding that plane was one of the best choices I ever made.

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Comments

[Mom and Dad]

We
Are so glad that this has worked out so well for you.

[UB &AC]

Choices
Hurrah!!!!!