Culture Shock or Time To Go Home

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So culture shock is something you are bound to experience in one form or another. Whether it be the 'honeymoon' phase when everything about the country your in is 'so awesome' or everything is so foreign, strange, 'backwards' you can't stand it. Maybe you'll get to the point where you experience the whole cycle. In my opinion, most people typically only really experience the 'Wow! So cool' only because the time spent in one place is limited and limited mainly to other groups of foreigners. Many people are what I call 'skimming', yes they go to those countries, but are they actually there??

I'm asking this simply because I consider myself to be quite adapatable and I experienced some serious culture shock upon my arrival in China. You see, what set this trend of living in another country to experience it was my semester spent in Cuba. I loved it! Every minute of it! I don't remember feeling lost or confused. I never questioned my being there...but I also knew I would only be there for 3 months. I guess I was just making the best of my time there. Anyways, when it came time to move to China for what I thought would be just a year, I thought "I'll be fine. Cuba was a breeze! This will be as well!" Not the case. I was seriously overwhelmed. I thought "What have I done?! I have to be here for a year!". And, as much as I don't want to admit it, I wanted to run back to Canada. Thankfully, I have awesomely supportive family and friends that, in a roundabout way, basically told me to 'suck it up'. I did and I also dealt with some personal issues which made dealing with the shock so much easier. The year didn't seem so long after that. And in fact, the year turned into a year and a half, then two and now I'm finishing up my fourth year going on five! And now it is difficult for me to imagine going back because I love it here so much!

After settling into a country, you begin to see trends among the foreign crowd. It's a relatively small, but growing 'community' in China. You hear the ugliest crap coming out of people's mouths. It usually begins with 'These people...' followed by more ugly BS. My goodness! Weren't we brainwashed with enough political correctness to know not to say 'These people...'! Seriously! The common complaints are related to habitual practices: spitting, staring, not lining up. Also the logic in the East can be quite different than Western logic and that, understandably, throws people off.

At first, it is understandable for people to be bewildered by the different behaviors of the local people, but after some time you need to accept it already! Or go home.

How are you supposed to know when it is time to pack it in or stick it out?

First, ask yourself 'How long have I been here?' When I hear people saying the regular, broken record complaints, I usually ask them 'How long have you been here?' If they say anything under a year- culture shock. If they say anything more than a year-GO HOME! You have no right to sit in a country and reep the benefits while insulting it and its people. It's just wrong. You also have no right to shit on my parade with your boring, redundant complaints. Get over it or leave! Most of the foreigners in China are Westerners and have the 'magic' passports that allow us to travel with ease. You didn't pay large sums of money and jump through a billion hoops to come here! There's is nothing holding you here. Just go...

Next, if, after a year, you are still eating McDonald's or anything more closely related to your home countries' cuisine at least once a day, it is a clear sign you are not adapting or even trying. A huge part of so many cultures is the food! Dive in and try it out. You should be able to find something. At first, this is difficult. I talked with many of the foreigners that have been here for a long time and they all said they struggled with the food in beginning. Food is a basic part of our daily life. Therefore, it is perfectly reasonable to be 'put off' by the differences at first. But if you are finding you can't move past it...leave.

Um...yeah. If you find the only reason you are sticking around is because you find it easier to have sex with the locals and you fear going home will make you a virgin...it's not really a valid reason to stay. It isn't valid because you are probably constantly insulting your 'partner's' culture in front of her/him while expecting them to perform sexual acts on demand. Wrong, wrong, wrong on so many levels. Go.

This is a big one...if you find yourself getting angry at the local people for not speaking English and have made no effort to speak the local language, walk your idiotic little arse to the nearest travel agency that has English speakers (so you don't insult more people) and buy a ticket back to where you belong. I can't speak a lot of Chinese even after 4 years. My busy work schedule doesn't allow for the time needed to dedicate yourself to this language. However, my prior experience working with non-verbal children and adults has prepped me for not relying on verbal cues. I use my eyes a lot more for understanding. I also accept the fact that it is my fault that I cannot speak Chinese. Afterall, I'm in CHINA not North America or Europe or any other predominantly English speaking country. Geez Louise! Just sail off into the sunset if you can't get past this.

One more specific reason for you to split...if you ever catch yourself saying: "I'm going to teach these people to....". Oh, wow! And, yes, I have heard this. It is vomit inducing. If you thought imperialism was dead, think again. I was so shocked the first time I heard someone say this I couldn't even respond.

There are a few other reasons you should probably leave after some time, but these are the biggest ones. And sorry, but you cannot call it culture shock after so much time spent in one place with no effort to accept, understand or change. That's not called culture shock, it's called bullshit.

In the meantime, I've compiled a list of comebacks when people utter some of the junk mentioned above:

"I'm sorry. All I heard was, 'Bitch, whine, piss, moan, bitch, bitch, whine, wah' "

"Can I please see your invitation to come and live in ________? I never got one. I came here by choice."

"Oh? Were you forced onto a flight to ___________ with a gun to your head?"

"Why are you here? What are you contributing besides negativity?"

"I would ask you to consider the fact that other people came to live here for a different kind of life. IF your imperialistic demands happen to reach the masses, things will be more or less the same as our motherlands. Therefore, rendering the country boring. Again, I would ask you to consider this fact, but you can't seem to think of anyone but yourself."

If you are talking to an English teacher:
"Have you ever taught your students the expression 'sounds like a broken record'? You could use yourself as an example."

All in all, you need to realize you made a choice to travel or live abroad. Don't go to a country and start insulting it just because you are unable to cope with the differences.

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Comments

[Kristi]

i guess its time to go home...
I wish I could be as passionate as you are about immersing yourself completely into a culture. Sure we have only been traveling for 3 months so far but I still feel like I say and think those things all the time. The food makes me barf sometimes but I've actually come to enjoy a little gallo-pinto with every meal. I am actually starting to even like beans....this is a huge step for me...(this is in the same boat as our mutual distaste for cheese). This post really made me conscious of what I write in my own blog. Mostly I think my bitching is for a humorous effect but maybe I really am a horrible traveler. I felt proud actually when I talked to my Guatemalan spanish teacher about some ways to lower her blood pressure when she was pregnant and maybe not have to go through a c-section again. I love traveling but I will admit that I am easily culture shocked.