Call me "Heather Teacher Fortune Teller"


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July 1st 2010
Published: July 1st 2010
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The past few weeks I have been doing speaking tests with my students, and yes, it is as exciting as it sounds (meaning not very much)



So, the time has come for my students to be ruthlessly judged by me for their English speaking ability. Yes, I, who can utter barely 15 phrases in broken Korean, was made to terrify the poor Korean students who spend 85%!o(MISSING)f their life in school or afterschool programs (not kidding) by making them speak! Now, I should mention we gave them study guide sheets with the actual questions I would ask them almost two weeks before the test. They had plenty of time to study. But, it's still kind of funny that I can't even speak another language and I have to judge them.

"This is a low class. You don't have to grade them to easily. You can give them a lower score," one of my co-teachers said. Yeah, right! I know what she meant, as I was being considerably generous with my grading, but still. I don't want to discourage anyone who is just starting to get interested. I'd hate to have finally gotten through to some of my difficult students (usually in the low classes) and for them to get back a bad grade and think, "I'll never be good at English. Why bother!"

Perhaps I should take the time now to explain how the speaking tests worked. All my classes for one week were spent with me sitting out in the hallway and students coming out one by one to answer 5 questions. I should also explain that I had to ask 5 questions to about 30 students in about 45 minutes. It. was. A. Long. Week. And I must say that my brain seemed to always turn off after I asked a question. I've never felt so ADD in my life. I learned a new word in Korean, though. 바 리! (Bali!) It means hurry, however, at no point did my saying this to a student actually result in speed- only giggles at my Korean. Thanks girls.

Another interesting thing is how I had to ask the questions. I printed strips of paper with the questions and taped them to a flash card. There were roughly aroun 6 questions for each grade to choose from. So for each student I would spread the flashcards on the little rickety desk I'd stolen from one of their classmates and tell them to pick three cards. Then they would turn them over, and gasp at the thought of having the bad luck to pick bad questions. I cannot express with words how much I felt like a tarrot card reader. Once, I tried to make a joke with a student about forseeing her future (but with a smile and a giggle). Clearly the student didn't understand. It was a shame. She looked nervous, so I had wanted to relax her by joking around, but my attempt at humor only seemed to petrify her more. Poor girl. She may still be avoiding me.

Alas, due to some testing errors I had to retest some girls, which was dreadful. BUT! I am now finished! Woo hoo! So, I thought I would share some of the funny answers I got.

Me: "How is the weather today?"
Students. "It's Sunday!" They meant sunny. "It's cloudy"- on the nicest, clearest day all year. "I'm fine." And my favorite, from my special needs student, Yu Rim, "It's blue?"

Me: "Tell me about Wilma Rudolph" (the fastest women in the world, from their book)
Students: "It is an Indonesian shadow puppet show." They confused it with another questions.

Me: "Why is music important to us?"
Student: "Music is my mind control."

Me: "Tell me about one of your family members."
Student: "My brother is fat and ugly. I hate him. His nickname is 'Crazy Pig'"

Me: "What are you good at doing?"
Student: "Heather Teacher, I love you. Grade me nicely. You so pretty." Nice try kid. 😊

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