Vietnam - You just weren't there man!

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We have now come to the end of our stay in Vietnam and are headed to Laos. Make yourself comfy for the epic that is about to come!

Arrived in Ho Chi Minh City on 11th March and as this is the last day of our tour we go for cocktails with all the guys to a local hotel which has great views of the city, dinner and then Karaoke. Joe joins us and takes us out to see the real HCMC and introduces us to street food and buckets. 5 valuable lessons have been learnt by this point:

Lesson 1: Road crossing - the roads are absolutely crazy here. The only rules are that when crossing Do Not Run - or you will die! Do Not Stop - or you will die! Do walk slowly and look the drivers in the eye - they will miraculously miss you!

Lesson 2: anything you can possibly imagine can be carried on the back of a motorbike here (including plate glass sheets, double mattresses, live pigs, up to 6 people!)

Lesson 3: nobody should ever think that singing Nirvana's Rape Me at Karaoke is a good idea!

Lesson 4: there are no copyright laws here so roll up for cheap books and software!

Lesson 5: there is at least 1 travel agent per capita of the HCMC population........as u may have guessed I just made that up...... But there are a lot!

The following day we have a lazy one round the pool after seeing the others off in the morning and 
meet Joe in the evening for sushi with his friends and a couple of fishbowls (essentially buckets for the seriously hard core) and decided the 3 of us would head to the Mekong Delta to Ben Tre for a couple of days at a homestay.....

Well the whole homestay experience is something we will never forget!

We decide to get a public bus so head to the bus station which is possibly the most manic place we have seen yet (and we've seen Ben Tranh Market!). Somehow we end up on the right bus and in just 1.5 hrs we are sat in the peaceful town of Ben Tre, by the lake sipping iced Vietnamese coffees waiting to meet the only travel agent in town.

Once arrangements are made we pick up a few provisions and hop on the motorbike taxis for the pituresque journey through little villages surrounded by water and coconut trees along the narrowest little tracks, to the ferry (which Joe drove to the island).

As soon as we arrived the hospitality was great. Food, rice wine (home brew) and beer did not stop flowing. We were introduced to virtually the whole island and learnt that "Cheers" in Vietnamese is "Mot, hai, ba, dzo"!

After more food, beer and rice wine the guitar comes out and singing commences. Bearing in mind virtually no English is spoken here and Westerners are a bit of a novelty, communication is limited. It all gets a bit messy and we pass out on our mosquito net covered tarpaulin beds at 9pm. That's not it though, at 4am we are woken by the now extremely pissed locals to carry on the party!

We are finally saved from this carnage by Mr Liam the travel agent who arrives to take Joe back (we are staying another day) and then takes us on a 3hr  boat trip round the islands and canals. The atmosphere when we return to our homestay is much more subdued so we have a nap before heading out in the evening on the boat to a nearby island which is inhabited by fireflies. They look like fairy lights all over the trees - flashing on and off simultaneously. It's so pretty that initially we think it's a hoax and the locals have just strung up a load of Christmas lights! 

When we arrive back we have dinner and a nice quiet evening reading our books stretched out in hammocks and the following day we say a fond farewell and head back to HCMC to meet up with Matt and Chrissie.

We arrive at the hotel 5mins after them and have a chilled afternoon so they can recover from their flight. In the evening we meet Joe, have dinner, a fair few buckets and snack on quails eggs as well as booking our bus to Mui Ne. Yeah, we are off to the beach!

We say goodbye to Joe over lunch then head for the bus which gets us to Mui Ne 6 hrs later by 9pm. We haven't booked anywhere to stay so wing it and end up striking gold, booking in at a fab bungalow complex on the beach. Matt even manages to barter down the price! 

The next day we spend the morning on the beach (it is seriously hot) and then go exploring. We decide to book a tour for the following morning and a Seeing Hands massage in the afternoon. Knowing we will have a big day tomorrow we have dinner and chill poolside playing cards before getting an early night.

The tour is great! We head out in a jeep and first stop is the Charma temples from which the views are fantastic. We then head to the Fairy River which we walk along to a beautiful waterfall before setting off to the fishing village and the Red and White sand dunes where we have a go at dune surfing. After lunch we have our poolside massage by our blind masseuses. To say we were beaten into oblivion is an understatement! So a little bit spaced after the experience we have a snooze before a fab seafood dinner accompanied by a bottle or 2 of the Vietnamese Dalat wine. Off to Nha Trang tomorrow!

We get the bus at lunchtime and are picked up at the bus stop by the hostel courtesy service at 7pm - need a shower before heading out for dinner as there was no air-con on the bus and it was seriously hot! We end up at the Sailing Club (which is a late night bar on the beach) drinking buckets til the early hours around a bonfire on the beach. Nha Trang has been much nicer than I expected (i had visions of the Spanish costas). The coastline and beachfront are beautiful. There is a nice promenade and it hasn't been ruined by any development right on the beach.

Today we fly to Denang (beats a 12hr bus journey!) and transfer from there to Hoi An. We again get really lucky at the hotel as we haven't booked, it is in a great location near the old town, with a pool and is very popular and we even manage to barter down the price!

The weather has cooled so we take a wander around the old town after lunch. It is beautiful and there are 100's of tailors...... No exaggeration this time! Chrissie and i are in shopping heaven and Chrissie gets fitted for a winter coat which should be ready for first fitting tomorrow morning (if its any good i could be tempted myself!). Must pace ourselves though so head out on a boat ride to the fishing village. It's quite an amazing sight as they use massive nets suspended on poles in the water which are lowered and raised by pulleys mounted on platforms built in the river. The sun is setting on the way back and makes for some great Kodak moments.

We try fried wanton at dinner which is a local speciality and very nice and whilst we are up for a few late drinks, by 10pm this sleepy town pretty much shuts up shop so we head back to the hotel. 

In the morning we head to the tailors for the first fit of Chrissie's coat. It is a little tight, but nothing that can't be sorted and is beautifully made, so we all end up spending the whole morning there picking out outfits, ordering and getting measured! I order a 1950's style dress and a traditional Vietnamese outfit and Mark orders 2 fitted shirts.

For lunch we try another local speciality, White Rose (a steamed shrimp dumpling) washed down with £0.12 beer and decide to spend the afternoon doing a walking tour of the town, stopping along the way to look in shops, temples, assembly halls, museums and historic properties. Apparently during October / November each year the old town is flooded and in 2009 the waters were 1.6m high so boats had to be used to get around the streets! 

This evening we have dinner in a restaurant with live music and stumble across a Vietnamese music and dance festival as well as managing to find a bar which is open til 11!

Yeah beach! We head off by motorbike taxi after breakfast and spend the whole morning and lunch soaking up the rays before heading back to the old town for our fittings. A few alterations are required  so we decide to explore the other side of the river while we wait and find a place with a great vantage point overlooking the Old Town which just happens to have happy hour!

Final fitting is a success and we can pick up our wares in the morning once the embroidery is finished.

This evening we even manage to find a place open til an, extremely late for Hoi An, 12pm!

Oh no, Matt's poorly. Maybe the crab soup last night wasn't such a good idea for someone with an intolerance to shellfish! Fingers and everything else crossed that we can make the bus to Hue at 2pm.

With our snazzy outfits collected and airmailed back to the UK (costs 100$ between us... Ouch!) we have a leisurely lunch and a few games of cards before getting on the bus (no lunch for Matt just to be on the safe side!)

The bus journey takes us through some fantastically  stunning countryside, through the Hai Van tunnel (possibly the longest I have ever driven through) and into the mountains (very steep, windy roads with great views and little villages surrounded by paddy fields). It has been raining pretty much all the way and continues when we reach Hue at around 5:30pm so we dig out the ponchos before heading out for a wander.

Matt has a funny turn and ends up prostrate on the floor of the restaurant we have stopped at for a drink whilst the pain passes. The staff are really concerned and helpful and we end up staying for dinner once Matt has recovered.

The following morning it is still raining but we head off to the Old Citadel and Imperial Compound which has been much destroyed by war and other natural disasters but is under renovation and still very impressive. By 2pm we are all a little damper and colder and decide we have seen enough so head back over the Perfume River for lunch, a massage and a few games of pool (this massage was definately less rigorous than the last one!). We also find a fab Italian restaurant and decide that we should make a night of it and head to a late night bar for buckets and dancing. We end up rocking up at the hotel at around 2am. Oh but it doesn't end there! The chap on reception cracks open the rice wine and insists we have a few with him before finally heading to bed.

It's still raining the following day and as we are all feeling a bit delicate we decide against a cruise down the Perfume River and just have a chilled day, quiet dinner and an early night as we have an early flight to Hanoi in the morning. The highlight of the day is Chrissie buying her 2nd poncho (the last one got destroyed during the previous nights carnage!), this one has green polka dots. I swear this is the only city in the world where you can wear a tacky plastic poncho in public and not look out of place..... You can even buy them to cover you and your motorbike with a little window in the front for your headlights!

Our flight to Hanoi leaves bang on 8am the next morning and our hotel is upgraded free of charge to a nicer one in a better location, right by the lake in the Old Quarter as the place we had booked had been effected by construction work in the property next door. Once we have checked in we quickly have a look at the tours to Halong Bay and decide on a 3 day, 2 night option starting the following day. We then head on a walking tour of old Hanoi and coincidently bump into some of the guys from our previous tour of Cambodia - small world! After catching up we head our separate ways and soon stop for cocktails and dinner before heading to see a show at the Water Puppet Theatre. Really enjoyed it! The art dates back hundreds of years and is quite primitive but v skilful and is accompanied by Vietnamese music and singing. 

Football now beckons (the boys have been suffering from withdrawal) so we head to a bar near the hotel to watch the Wales v England game and play a few games of cards before bed.

The bus for Halong picks us up at 8:30 and we arrive at the harbour at 12:30 (we are only 170km from China). After getting a tender out to our junk we settle into our cabins before having lunch (great clams which I find out are grown in the Bay). We then set sail for the karsts. It is a bit foggy which gives them a truly mystical quality. There are over 2000 of these limestone islands set in the emerald waters of the Bay. 

We head to an island famous for it's caves and make the steep climb to the entrance where the views are fantastic. The caves are huge and the limestone has formed into magnificent shapes and with a little imagination you can see buddah's, gorillas and tortoises (and with much less imagination, a massive penis!). We then go kayaking around the islands before returning to the junk a little damper. 

After a complimentary foot massage, dinner and more Dalat wine the Karaoke starts. The boys have gone squid fishing but after a few failed attempts they join us and Mark and I do a passable duet before bed on the boat.

In the morning we head to the 'James Bond Island' to see the monkeys which apparently only show up between 7-9 for breakfast and we see some fantastic jellyfish whilst we are there. Those of us staying 3 days then transfer to a smaller boat to cruise the islands as we head to Cat Ba where we will be staying tonight (the largest island in the Bay). We stop on route for cycling and trekking through the jungle to the bat cave (no bats today though) as well as stopping at a floating fishing village where fish are raised and clams grown. Took a wall along the floating pontoons of the village which was just a tad precarious!

We arrive at Cat Ba at 3:30ish and after a stroll down the promenade we end up in a bar watching the world go by whilst playing cards, drinking coffee, wine and beer until dinner beckons. After dinner Mark heads for bed as he has come down with a cold, so Matt, Chrissie and I go out for 1 more (bottle of wine that is) before bed. 

Our last day in Halong involves cruising the islands back to the harbour. It has warmed up a bit so we take in the spectacular scenery from the top deck before heading by bus back to Hanoi to meet the people we will be travelling through Laos with and farewell drinks with Matt and Chrissie. 

We have had a great adventure through Vietnam with the Pultums and will miss them loads (we will not forget the Pultum toilet scale!). It is such a beautiful country with a stunning coastline and rich history and is developing extremely quickly. Was a shame we didn't have better weather in the North but the Vietnamese wine helped keep out the cold! And yes, the Vietnamese do eat dog - but only in the second half of each lunar month as before then it is considered unlucky and no we didn't try it....well you have to draw the line somewhere!

Next stop Laos (let's hope we survive tubing, so we can tell you all about it, apparently it is legendary!)

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