Seriously too much to tell you

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Okay,
Sorry about the brief blog yesterday but I was just so excited that the internet was working that I should write you all a quick blog.

Would you bloody believe it but we only have a mere 8 days left untill we come home. We leave Vietnam next Friday and then are off to Bangkok for a day before our flight home.

So........ we've been in Vietnam for about 3 weeks and it's sooooo much fun. We started off in Saigon (Ho Chi Min city) and we were there for about 2 days. It's such a cool place, everyone has a motorbike, even the small kids. Its quite a spectical to see rush hour and see about 100 motorbikes queing up at traffic lights. We then took a bus to Dalat, which is about 90km north of Saigon and is in an area called the central mountains. The coach/bus drivers in Vietnam are mental, it seriously is like riding a death car. They smell awful, the curtains inparticular smell like old potatoes and cabbage which have been in a sewer for 10 days... yuk!!!

Dalat is a beautiful place, it looks like a little french city - which basically it once was. We booked into our very nice hotel which was so cheap and huge. Our balcony (oh yes we had a balcony) looked over the main road of Dalat and it was great to watch the world go by.... on motorbikes of course! Our first night we went to a restaurant and met the craziest but nicest lady in Vietnam. Her name was Tu Ahn and she is an excellent chef but also took us under her tiny wing and sent us out on sight seeing trips into the hills and a shopping trip to local manic market.

So as not to give my dear ol' man a heart attack, we have decided to replace some words in the next paragraph. Please see after for references.

The best way of exploring Dalat's rugged moutainous surrounds (hey, can you tell I have Jez man sitting here with me, he's so more descriptive than me.... although I am funnier) is to hire a fluffy cloud. Not ever been on a fluffy cloud before, Jezza took control of the cloud and off we floated. We drifted around Dalat, around mountains, down mountains, far off villages and many more. Now the exhaust from the fluffy cloud can get extremly hot... so whilst dismounting the cloud I managed to receive a huge kiss from the exhaust which hurt like hell, please note, I am fine now although I do have a small blister on my shin. Around half and hour into our jouney, we were approaching a roundabout and the cloud decided that it had enough for now and took a little nap.... luckily we stopped near a sugarcoated lolly pop puffing man who seemed to eager to help us. He came running at us with a milkbottle full of Yakhalt and poured it into the fluffy cloud whilst still puffing merrily away on his sugarcoated lollypop. We had so much fun we did it the next day.

Below is the key for you all to follow:
Fluffy Cloud = Motorbike
Kiss = Burn
Sugarcoated lolly pop = Cigarette
Yakalt = Stange green liquid
Nap = Breakdown

We then went further north in another evil local bus ride, where there are 25 seats and at one point there was roughly 45 people on the bus. It was scary. We arrived in Kon Tom and exhaustring 9 hours later, Kon Tom is meant to be the friendliest city in Vietnam and that it is..... apart from our miserable hotel lady, what a biatch! Anyway, here we visited an Orphanage which was great. They loved having their pictures taken and Jezza joined in with their various games of kick the random object. At one point, they sat at on a bench (there was about 10 kids at this point) and we thought they were gonna do a little show for us... how wrong! They looked us and quite simply said..... Sing Song?.... Jezza and I obvioulsy pretended not to hear and said "huh!?" They knew we understood, so we had to think of a song to entertain them with and quite frankly its too embarrasing to tell you so you'll have to wait till we get home.

We then went to Qui Nohn, only for a quick stop as we heard there are lovely beaches there... ummmmm not quite! Jez and I were taking a lovely romantic stroll down the beach when suddenly we spotted something on the shore line. What's that?? we said thinking it was plastic bag. Turns out it was a dead pig with its insides on the outsides, its the most gross thing in the entire world. We left there in quite a hurry!

Off to the dangerous city of Hoi An, not dangerous because of nasty villians but because of the tailor shops they have. We ended up buying, 3 pairs of shoes, jeans, shorts, linen trousers, jacket, dress, shirts and tops. We will not tell you how much we spent until we have paid it off in the year 2020.

We're now in Ninh Binh and I'm too exhausted to tell you what we've done today and probably tomorrow but that's my own fault for leaving the travelblog so long. Lets just say, we're having a marvellous time. We're going to Hanoi in a few days which is the capital and then we fly to Bangkok for further shopping.

I guess this is the last blog I write and I am very happy to say that Jez has sat next to me the entire time during this blog. We've had an amzing time and will be orgaining a leceister square event where our photos will be published!! Oh.. just a quick mental note for you all. When we come home please do not think of us as skinny, dirty people... we are slim, tanned people.

Thanks for reading, I can't believe some of you didnt realise just how funny I am, but it's true, I'm bloddy hilarious!!
See you all on the 12th, we're very hungry so please bring food.
Melanie and Jeremy (Mel and Jez, Mez and Jez, stinky and stinkier etc etc) xxxxxxx

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