TK421, why are't you at you post?

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Hi, it’s been a while since I updated this blog so you may want to grab a beer, strap in and prepare…perhaps open up another web browser to flick to during the boring bits…it’s going to be a long one…and because the internet connection where I am is shit there aren’t even any photos to look at…No fucking photos? why do you waste your time with this shit you ask yourself?

End of June:

June 28th was my last teaching day in Saigon…it was a typical Sunday, hot as hell and the building was full of screaming Vietnamese kids…(that’s not fair really, that makes them out to be brats, and most of them aren’t). Anyway, my classes this day were fairly uneventful…I had a bunch of tests to give, which wasn’t how I wanted to say goodbye to most of my students, but not my choice unfortunately, they are there to learn (and be rigorously tested) not just hang out with me. However, when I was leaving my J4 class (8-11 yrs olds) I did have kids clinging on to me, and one girl even shouted ‘it’s not fair!’, so that was nice…the thought that not only did my class love me as a teacher, but that at least one of them has also learnt about the unfairness of life at such a young age…The reaction in most classes wasn’t as strong, although one class did sing me a song (four weeks later as I write this, I can’t remember what it was)…but to bee honest most of the kids were just happy I let them leave the lesson early (I was itching for the pub)…can’t say I blame them…I could hardly give a rat’s ass at that age when a teacher was leaving either ….

A couple of days later I went to the Mekong delta for a few days. I did one of these homestay things, which isn’t quite staying in someone’s house (they have ‘guest bedrooms’ for this’), but it was cool. I was the only person there for the first two nights and Nam the owner took me out and about in the delta, which was lovely. The scenery is great, all little rivers and streams, it’s very quiet, especially compared to Saigon, and so I had a great couple of days basically being taken round to Nam’s mate’s houses, where we caught fish in a rather muddy lake, ate snails, and sat about drinking rice wine (tastes like Tesco vodka) in a variety of shacks…then we would adjourn back to Nam’s for lunch…they do like their boozing in this part of the world. I tried to explain that sitting around drinking the equivalent of 2 litres of vodka with your mates at 9.30 in the morning was considered socially deviant where I come from, but having spent time being socially deviant I got into the swing of things pretty quickly….one the way back on the second day, Nam crashed his bike into a tree, I crashed into Nam, and his missus was none too happy when we arrived back for a lavish lunch full of booze, fish and snail, and looking like a pair of muddy children….

On the last day I went to the floating markets in the Delta. They were pretty sweet, but unless you want to buy fruit and veg, I can’t say I was that interested in the shopping…some German girls who arrived the night before as part of a tour came with us but as we neared the markets they had to get onto a big tour boat, whilst I was whisked about by Nam…it really does pay to make your won way on these things sometimes…I could stay as long as I liked, and I didn’t have to jostle with other people for photographs etc…

When I got back to Saigon Iris informed me that half of my wardrobe was now dyed pink as a result of the new cleaning lady putting something red in with the laundry…I wasn’t too bothered as most of what was ruined I’d planned on leaving behind anyway, but I had thought I could give it to the next charity bring n buy sale… didn’t bother in the end, just left with all the other crap at the back of the wardrobe for Iris to dispose of…sorry Iris….

So, I was back in Saigon for a final weekend before I left. It was a good weekend, I went for a boozy lunch with Amir, then went back to his house to do some acoustic Karaoke (he plays the guitar and I read the words off the internet…it’s kind of kind of like jamming, but I don’t actually need any real talent to take part, other than the ability to find songs we both know…and my obvious god-given talent as a vocalist of depth and power).

In the evening we went for a mammoth Karaoke session at the Golden Smile in district 5 (sounds gay, it is, I once saw someone go into this place in assless leather chaps..seriously, but it has the best selection of songs in Saigon, and stays open until your too drunk to shout any longer). We got there about 8.30 and left at about half five…it was ace, a really nice bunch of friends, though the last three hours were the usual suspects who will sing anything….and I mean anything…I’ve a funny feeling we even sang the Brotherhood of Man at one point…

Next day, Sunday at Jon and Tabby’s, had a big breakfast and then played 18 holes of Nintendo golf that took about two hours longer to play than real golf…The next day I played the real thing and seem to have lost the brief spurt of improvement of a month or so ago…Whilst looking at a map of Hanoi I noticed that close to the area I’m planning on moving into there is a little cartoon man either putting, or pissing on a patch of grass…now, this is Vietnam so it could be either but I’m hoping it’s a nice little pitch and putt, or even crazy golf…if not I’ll just and go there to practice my pissing….I’ll be pretty disappointed if it is a pissing patch, I’m getting into my golf here…

Will be sad to move up to Hanoi…I’ve really enjoyed my time here in Saigon, and I’ve made some really good friends which is what has made this past year so good.

However, I am a little tired of the sheer overload of urbanity (is that a word?) here in Saigon. Hanoi is gonna be busy, but I know it’s a lot greener and it just doesn’t seem as insane and in-your-face as Saigon often is (I bet I rue that last statement when I’m awoken by some kind of jazz band-motorbike revving-cat-fighting-durian fruit hoe-down very early outside my window soon after I arrive, whilst the council bulldozes the parks and fills the lakes in…)

I’ve just realised that I’m writing this blog in a mixture of past and present tense…but that surely displays my strengths as a writer, rather than my inability to sustain a coherent narrative…he says, he said….anyway, I’m sure you are all coping fine…

7th July. I nipped into work to tie up some loose ends regarding my tax status, had a farewell few games of pool with other Jon, whose been a great mate in Saigon and I will miss a lot…along with a load of other folks, the Boothster,(Nick) Jane, Luke, Claire, Camille, Amir and a whole heap of others…. I then jumped on a train to Nha Trang, where the weather was gorgeous, clear blue skies, turquoise water, white sands and all surrounded by lush green mountains. I came here last year with Joe, but the weather was shite..this time it was perfect….
I hired a motorbike when I got here, which is something I have rarely done before, other than an aborted attempt into a puddle in Thailand and a few days round Mui Ne…this time I decide to give it a more serious attempt…it was all good…I met Nick and Amir there, and rode around the mountains, coastal roads and place of interest…all on a Honda Dream, fully equipped with a shopping basket on the front…

After a few days in Nha Trang, I went on to Hanoi, to sort out somewhere to live. Nick had put me in touch with some teachers he knew in Hanoi and I soon decided (I couldn’t be arsed to look anymore to be honest) to arrange to move into a house in Hanoi. The house is really nice, an old colonial villa type thing with lots of charm, near a leafy pond and down a narrow little lane. It’s about 15 mins ride from work, and 10 mins from the tourist part of town….I stayed in Hanoi long enough to sort this out, dump my luggage then went out to Ninh Binh, which again is somewhere I’ve been before, but this time I wanted to explore it by bike…

Ninh Binh…ive been here before, but didn’t do the bike thing so am back for some cruising through the dramatic VN countryside here…today I went to Phat Diem, where there is a big catholic cathedral..it was pretty interesting in itself, but to make it better I got accosted by some Vietnamese students who proceeded to take me to lunch, took me biking through the countryside and then on for afternoon tea and starfruit at one of their sister’s houses…it was a thoroughly enjoyable afternoon…this part of Vietnam has to be the most friendly part I’ve been to, in fact its probably the friendliest place I’ve ever been to…the people here are lovely…and whilst their English, and my VN is shocking, we muddle through with the old phrasebook and what little we both know of each others languages…shame there isn’t much to do in the evening here, from what I can see most tourists just hang out at the hotel, I’ve decided to make camp in the coffee shop across the road followed by pork meatballs at a local restaurant…don’t get me wrong, I like other tourists, but I do get bored of talking about the same old ‘where you’ve been, where you are going next stuff…’ I’d rather have broken conversations with the locals, its far more entertaining…and surely as a tourist, that’s kind of what we are here for…at least I am at any rate….unless there is a KFC and an Irish theme pub nearby…

The following day I went razzing around the back roads between Tam Coc and Hoa Lu…found a really cool pagoda on top of a mountain and couldn’t quite understand why it wasn’t crawling with tourists…the view was amazing and until a French guy turned up an hour later I had the place to myself…we chatted for an hour or so and then I let him have the view to himself…it was a magical spot that looks out onto limestone valleys and hidden waterways…truly beautiful…akin to looking at the River Soar from the top of Halifax Drive...( I put that bit in to confuse anyone not familiar with Leicester)….

Back in Hanoi for my final ten days or so of holiday. I decided stay in the city, as to be honest I just wanted to do nothing…explore Hanoi a bit, but certainly not keep getting on trains and buses and arriving in different hotels…I was basically like a disgruntled mid-tour Bono… but without the crap lyrics, cataract glasses and worthy causes…


One evening I went to see The Owl and the Sparrow- a vietnamese movie, It was excellent…a great Saigon movie…It certainly made me think twice about the life of child flower sellers you see outside some of the bars and clubs in Saigon…
Im going to join the Cinematheque on Hai Ba Trung Street, a bit like the Phoenix. They’ve got a pretty interesting season of VN movies (both movies by VN directors, and movies about VN on at the moment. I also went to see Public Enemies. I was bitterly disappointed. I’m usually a big fan of Michael Mann flicks, I even rate the Miami Vice movie, but this was leaden and boring….

A couple of days later I went on a date with a Vietnamese woman I met in a bar…she seemed nice enough when I met her, but when I arrived for the date she didn’t seem as nice. I think my judgement was clouded though as when I arrived I found she ad invited her friends along too, who to be honest were far more interesting than she was…after an aborted attempt to go see the new Harry Potter film (it was sold out) we ended up getting pissed instead, territory that I’m always familiar with…I’m actually kind of glad because she talked a lot, and when I watched the new Harry Potter flick the following day I really enjoyed it…im glad she wasn’t yammering in my ear all the way through it…it was hard enough with all the kids running around for the first hour, until it all got a bit too scary for them…that shut them up…..

So, now I’m in Hanoi. I went into work the other day to check it out. Seems a very different set-up to Saigon. Same resources and all that, but only ten other teachers (as opposed to 100 plus ILA teachers in Saigon))…the whole vibe is very relaxed and I’m looking forward to a change of pace, although I reckon it’s gonna be a bit harder to make as wide a social life here in Hanoi….which is kind of why I came….i need to be able to make it work for me wherever. I’m hoping to do TEFL for a few years yet, and I don’t always plan on teaching where there is a ready made social life as in Saigon, so I’ll see how I get on….i’m teaching my new classes tomorrow morning, then on Monday I’m gonna go and buy a Nintendo wii….couple with my newly hired (flowery graphic L) Honda Wave, ill probably be crick necked, constipated ( I don’t know why, but it sounds funny) and full of virtual golf victories next time I write…

As always, in the meantime, hope everyone is well….Bryony, I can’t wait to see you in December….xxx….and I guess that goes for most of you…well, all of you really…

Oh, PS, Mr Westmoreland, I am alive and well, tell Rita to stop fretting…good luck with your last few weeks at work…see you for beers when I get back…

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