Whats the KY Jelly Yo

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Asia » Vietnam » Red River Delta » Hanoi
May 8th 2008
Published: May 8th 2008EDIT THIS ENTRY

Relief from an unlikely source.....Relief from an unlikely source.....Relief from an unlikely source.....

This stuff works wonders......
So Now I'm in Hanoi, enjoying my last day here. I've had a couple of good nights out with some great people I have met here, But I'm now pretty anxious to get back on the bike. This place is relativaly cheap, but as with any city it slowly eats up your money. I'm staying in the Old French quarter where I stayed with Bec around 5 years ago. Its changed quite a bit, there are loads of tourists here and most of them seem to be tour groups of old French and Australians. When we were here before I can remember shopping for clothes to start my job as a teacher in China. We were going into Soviet style department stores with a very commie feel to them, but now they all seem to have been replaced with shiny new american style shops with cosmetics departments on the ground floor, all proudly displaying advertisements for Tommy Hilfiger and Calvin Klein. One step closer to the homogonised society that we are/will soon be living in. Theres also a sprinkling of KFC's and Gloria JEans Coffee houses sprinkled around the city. The colonial influence of the french is very aparrent here with
Outside the beer factoryOutside the beer factoryOutside the beer factory

Sitting outside the Bia Hoi factory enjoying fresh cold beer straight from the factory. Only 20cents US a pint!
delicious coffee and baguettes for breakfast with hunks of cheese. The coffee is so strong and a cup costs as little as 20cents USD. The only thing is it always comes in a tall glass tumbler with a long spoon in the glass. Having no saucer, means there is nowhere to put the spoon if you take it out, so everyone just drinks it with the spoon in the glass. However if you are a bit of an 'Un-co' like me, you often end up poking yourself in the eye with the spoon. I hope I don't cause myself serious injury with this as it would be a disapointing story to tell the grandkids, surviving a head on with a herd of bufallo only to be hospitalised with a coffee spoon...

Between meals, beers and cups of coffee, I have been riding my bike around the city and trying to get my ass hardened up for heading off. I went to buy a new bike saddle from the TREK bike shop (actually just a man with an apartment filled with bikes above a womans clothes shop) but they were all too expensive and I wasn't sure if they would
Traffic in Hanoi's StreetsTraffic in Hanoi's StreetsTraffic in Hanoi's Streets

Moped upon Moped upon Moped........
even be comfortable. In the end I decided to do what everyone in my generation does when they have a problem. I Googled it. Google provided a plethoera of ideas to combat the problem of saddle sores. The one that appeared the most was to use some kind of lubrication between your shorts and your ass, the most suggested being 'Vaseline' or 'KY-Jelly'. I have heard that these solutions can stop you from getting a sore arse in certain other situations, but I'd never heard anyone mention them as a solution to saddle sores. So, I headed off to the local pharmacy, still walking like John Wayne and bought a tube of KY-Jelly and some nappy rash cream. The worker in the pharmacy was giving me funny looks, and I wasn't too impressed with the see thru bag that she gave me, leaving me to take the walk of shame back to my guest house. I did however try it yesterday and it works wonders!

So tomorrow, I will leave Hanoi and hopefully make it to the coast, where I can go for a swim in the tropical sea, and camp on the beach. This is something I have been missing so much living in China and I hope that since I have my bike I should be able to camp on my own private beach every night for the next week or so. I just hope there is no visible polution...


8th May 2008

good way
haha,i am happy hear that you found a best way to save your poor ass,but still feel strange!:-)you will camp on the beach?!thats so great,i can imagine hows the feeling.sooooooo.............
9th May 2008

Nice Mark!!
Hey Mark....Just read your stories..... love it...you could always get a piece of sheep skin and put that on your saddle....sounds like a wonderful trip....keep blogging and I will keep reading..take it easy....ps set up an umbrella over your bike there are plenty of those in China ;-)
10th May 2008

Great Job !!
You are doing a great job Mark - congratulations on your efforts so far and the money you have raised for CamKids. All the best Mark Purser, CamKids Chairman
11th May 2008

Monkey on a bike
Hey Mark Sounds like your going through hell! Your doing great though, sounds like your havin a brilliant experience meeting so many different people and havin some crazy adventures. Your def gonna have a lot of tales to tell when your an old man! If your ever back in Bonnie scotland can't wait to hear more of your stories! Take care xx
11th May 2008

Keep going
Good on you big man - keep it going. Just managed to catch up with your blog - loving the stories.
12th May 2008

Lets all make an effort to support Camkids and Mark
Lets get lots of sponsors in for Camkids - tell people at work, beg your family, stop strangers in the street, email all your friends. A wee bit of effort can make a huge step. I'm gonna try and get £50 in the next week - anyone want to try and beat that????
12th May 2008

good luck
hey,where are you now?are you ok?it had earthquake in si chuan this afternoon.many provinces were affected.include gui yang.be terrible!more than 7000people were die in an accident!all the best to you!
17th May 2008

A fat white guy walking funny into a pharmacy in hanoi and buying a bag full of KY. Classic.

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