BEEP BEEP BEEEEP - Vietnam

---

Many things to tell I have..... (in a Yodaish voice)


We are now in Hanoi, the Viet capital. We have been here just over a week and have been in Vietnam in total for nearly 2. Our first port of call was Saigon, so my blog begins there....


Saigon (also known as Ho Chi Minh City) was completely manic. A city of 7 million people, 10 million motorbikes and 25 million horns sounding every minute. We arrived a few days before Tet (Chinese New Year) and so joined nearly 150,000 Vietnamese people returning to Vietnam for the festival week. We didn't spend much time in Saigon, it was very busy and after a snoop about felt like getting out of the big smoke/horn. During our stay we did however make the mandatory visit to the Chu Chi tunnels, a few hours north west of Saigon. The tunnels were used during the Vietnam War by Viet-Cong fighters avoiding the American forces controlling the south. The tunnels were amazing, the trip made even better by an excellent guide who fought for the South during the war. We were shown the original sized tunnels of about 25cm - 30cm - no fatties allowed - in which 16,000 guerilla fighters lived for nearly 2 years, coming out only at night. We went down a section of tunnel enlarged for western tourists, or essentially the American arse, and burrowed about for a bit. The 10-15 minutes we spent underground was long enough, 2 years must have been nasty.

-------------------------------











Lesson One from Saigon-

How to cross the road


1) wait for a cyclo or something slower than all the other traffic to come towards you
2) walk out at an angle and aim for a gap between the hundreds of bikes
3) cross fingers
4) continue walking at a steady pace, don't slow, you'll get hit, don't quicken, you'll get hit
5) reach the far side and thank the lord you crossed the 7 meter wide road safely (don't think my insurance covers crossing Vietnamese roads!)

TIPS-

-Use people upstream as fodder, old vietnamese ladies are especially good as they walk very slowly, often carry large baskets (widening the crossing berth), and they don't look up from the ground (which means everyone must avoid them or crash)
-Looking either way is an error, you are not in control of your crossing, the bikes are in control of you (i tried crossing with my eyes shut and got across perfectly ok)
-The horn does not mean stop, nor move, it means nothing (It basically means "Hello, i'm on a bike, i'm quite annoying, and I have a horn")

--------------------------------

After purchasing an Open Bus ticket to Hanoi, at a Tet inflated price, we headed for Hoi An, with a day stop in Nha Trang (we had enough of beaches in Thailand so skipped the coastal town). Hoi An is an UNESCO World Heritage Site, so the literature asks for tourists visiting this "sleepy town" to remain respectful to the locals, dress sensibly and soak up traditional atmosphere.

On New Years Eve we headed to the riverside for midnight. We didn't really know what to expect of Chinese New Year celebrations. Would they be the same as in the UK? Cheering, drinking, singing, people being sick, dance offs (Doddsy i'll give you more lessons when i get back), drinking, offering best New Year wishes to random strangers as the clock strikes 12? Answer = No. The affair was far more civilised. The locals sat on bikes and chairs, watched some fireworks, then packed up the fairground stalls* and went home. We decided to get merry anyway, and after some buckets, some beer, some throwing of Ritz biscuits (ask Norm), we returned to the hotel to bed in the early hours, wishing the receptionist (who had woken up to let us in) a "Mery Very Yew Near". The evening was made all the more enjoyable by the company of two very lovely Swedish girls (maths).





Tet was over and New Years day was as expected, very quiet in town, the locals celebrating at home with famliy, and no horns anywhere. Excellent. We moved on to Hue after a couple of nights and spent a day or so in the local area. Another excellent local moto-guide, who again fought for the South during the war, showed us the sites. Former bases, a covered Bridge, endless paddy fields (yes, fields in which the Irish are harvested for export) and the Royal Arena amongst other sites

The Tet holiday was still being as useful as ever - no banks open for about a week - as we took our last long bus journey to Hanoi. The first port of call was an eagerly awaited night out for my Birthday. Unfortunately my hope for a completely perfect night out and the most stupidly named places in town were dashed when we found out the nightclub Apocalypse Now was shut. However we had a great day in the end.

-------------------------------

Lesson Two from Hanoi-

How to Celebrate Your Birthday in Hanoi

1) wake up very late
2) get Norm to collect the entire buffet breakfast and bring it to your room
3) watch "Cow and Chicken" followed by "I M Weasel" (great find)
4) change travellers cheques on the street (no display of passport or dated signature necessary) with a dodgey lady on a bike avec un bundle of dong
5) go and blow 500,000 on lunch (leaving our 5 week no cheese rule in tatters)
6) have a nap
7) start the night at Le Pub (first of many great names) and meet random Durhamite
8) drink a disappointing Newcastle Brown Ale with ney fact on the back
9) patronise the Polite Pub & the Funky Monkey
10) go to a Vietnamese club by the name of New Century
11) allow the biggest Vietnamese Pop Star to continue singing on stage despite the fact I didn't invite him
12) dance to techno-trance til late while enduring the odd sensation of being twice as tall as everyone else in the club (even Norm felt it, for those you don't know Norm he's essentially a hobbit)

------------------------------------------

Our time in Hanoi has been split into chunks. A bit of time walking about the city, a trip to Ha Long Bay, and a trek near the Chinese border in Sapa.

Ha Long Bay was great fun. The bay consists of nearly 2000 islands, and although the weather wasn't perfect while we were there, the mist shrouded the islands pretty impressively. We spent a night on a Junk (a wooden pirate-like boat), did a bit of swimming, jumping off the boat deck, kayaking, cave visiting and trekking up a very shoddy path to an even shoddier viewpoint (I dont think the rusty structure would pass it's Health & Safety test, especially as the wooden planks on the viewing deck we unattahced to the metal frame and very mobile). We also visited Monkey Island. I was hoping for hundreds of monkeys roaming about, some perhaps on bikes, some with Fezs, maybe a few juggling, no such luck. We were there for nearly 30 minutes before we saw any monkeys at all. They were quite fun in the end, eating bananas and doing monkey things. Norm and I agreed that the majority of the Monkeys must have taken a day trip to Tourist Island and were probably equally disappointed at the lack of photograph opportunites.

Our second trip from Hanoi was a 2 day mountain trek in Sapa, in the far north Vietnam. In the end it wasn't so much of a trek than a continuous trot. The scenery however was amazing, with terraced paddy fields stretching from the valley floors to above the mist into the mountains. We spent one night in a Homestay; a local village house. After copious amounts of rice wine el banter did flow with our new trekky friends; an ozzy, a kiwi and a english lass. The majority of the conversation was based on how stupid the dutch and french guy looked while dancing to Vietnamese music, the french guy I swear was just doing a chicken impression (for some very odd reason, the Vietnamese have an unhealthy obsession with Belgium's Eurovision Song Contest entry from last year, the track must have been played about 8 times that night). The trip was well worthwhile and the extra $5 for a soft sleeper train both ways was spot on.


Our time in Vietnam, and South East Asia for that matter, is closing to an end. In a few days we shall in in Cairns, Australia, ready to start our camper van trip south to Sydney. Hopefully my blogs will be a bit more regular and a bit smaller by then.

NB: For all of you who are intertested, Norm has eventually "found his goat".

Rob - now 22 years of age

Best bit- Sapa
Worst bit- The car/motorbike/truck/bus horns (Arrrghh!!)

---

Photos

Chu Chi Tunnels
I had to remove my top hat before going underground.

Halong Bay
Misty, salty, boaty, monkey.

Sapa Trekking
Random huts and flooded fields.

Comments

[Matt]

ooo
happy birthday chump- sounds like you're having a blast. so horribley jealous of you