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Published: June 27th 2010
Welcome to the Vietnam Blog - Part Two.
Firstly, it would be appropriate to start with an apology. We have been absent from your lives, inboxes and hearts for over 6 weeks now... or you may not have noticed if you're in England as it’s now glorious summer (we write this from a medium to cold Melbourne...grrr).
Everything in the last two weeks of 'Nam seemed to begin with the letter 'H' so here we go...
HOI AN
We rocked up here on a night bus from Nha Trang. Billed as a ‘luxury bus' we had great expectations. Turns out it was ridiculously modern and uncomfortable, with AC blowing on us for the whole trip. Bring back the Indian Death Bus we say! Hoi An is a disgustingly cute French style town about half way up Vietnam. It’s the place that both the Vietnamese and the Americans agreed not to bomb during the war so it’s in pretty good condition. The town is rather famous for its tailoring -if you want anything made quite cheap then head to Hoi An. The town also sports a large amount of shoe making shops (strange) and touristy shops full of
tat (Gail’s favourite type). If you take a leisurely stroll down the streets to the waterfront, you are likely to see the following sequence -
• Tailor shop; tailor shop; tailor shop; shoe shop; tat shop; café; bar.
Repeat this until driven mad by the pushy salespeople shouting, “You want buy…?” We had a very lazy few days here just wondering around and overdosing on our new addiction to Vietnamese iced-coffees (go buy one, now!) and then hired a moped for the last few days to explore further afield.
Gail bravely drove us 50k up the national highway coast line to the city of Dalat. We stopped half way there at the very touristy Marble Mountains. This is a mountain made of… marble. The shops around this mountain… sell marble. Some great caves inside the mountain (see pictures) and also huge Buddhas. Dalat has little to offer the traveller apart from a huge 20k empty, gorgeous beach! The beaches in Vietnam follow a daily cycle:
5am- 10am: Vietnamese families and Tai Chi-ers;
10am - 5pm: silly white skinned tourist burning;
4pm - sunset: clever Vietnamese families not burning.
The Vietnamese are mad on beach picnics and turn out in
force every day without fail. Strangely, they all wear clothes to go in the sea (even the men), presumably to cover up. Doesn’t make much sense when the wet clothes cling…hmm.
We’ve discovered whilst travelling that there are days when things are just destined to be crap. For instance, our hotel had a power cut and decided to use the noisy generator outside our room at 4am. This prompted an angry Gail to go confront the man; however, his lack of English plus Gail’s impatience led to an arm-waving shouting match which, inevitably, wasn’t resolved. Anyway, two restless hours later we set off on our moped to beat the heat and visit the ‘gigantic’ waterpark in Dalat. Turns out after two-hours driving around fruitlessly looking for the bloody thing we still couldn’t find it. The icing on the cake came when we returned only for Hotel Bitch to laugh at us and say, “Ah, it’s easy!”
Gail’s personal highlight of Crap Day has to be walking through the dead fish stench at the scabby market and watching Nikki grab her own face and charge her way out in order not to vomit on herself-priceless.
HUE
This was
Sweaty!
Dont carry a rucksack in 40 degree heat.quite a pointless/unplanned stop on our luxury bus journey north. We stayed for one night during which time we managed to eat at the same restaurant four times. It’s a very small town but boasts a stunning waterfront at the river which contains landscaped gardens and sculptures. Cyclo men are so keen for business in this quiet place that three of them will still next to you in the park staring at you. Went to visit a Citadel (still not exactly sure of a definition but think it’s where important people used to live. Signage would have been useful) and mingled with some locals. Tiny Hue = done.
HANOI & (MR) HO CHI MINH aka Uncle Ho
Our final overnight bus journey of the entire trip- woohoo! Nikki’s more relieved about this than anything else as she spent 16 hours cramped up in a half-seat practically touching the roof above the toilet, whilst having to watch all the tiny Asia people stretching out in theirs.
So, we reached the capital and what a contrast to HCMC. We spent 6 days here. It wasn’t as seductive as HCMC and the incessant noise, traffic and motorbikes drove Nikki to
tears. We were determined to spend our last few days wisely so hit all the touristy spots and local drinking holes (15p for a glass of beer!).
• Water puppet show - a ‘must see’. Slightly surreal, clever yet dull and evolved from the farmers
conducting shows in their paddy fields.
• Shopping - the ONLY place that we have managed to find any Western style clothes sizes
• Stupid shoe spotting - our new game. This is a phenomenon throughout Vietnam where 50% of
women feel they need to cram their feet into the most stupidly small, high-heeled, bejewelled, ugly
shoes.
• Prison Museum - more confusing propaganda regarding American war
• Literature Temples - oldest University in ‘Nam
• Mr Ho Chi Minh’s Mausoleum - Nikki’s personal highlight and the source of much embalming debates. Here he lies in state 40 years after his death (three days before he died he publically stated he wished to be cremated…erm!) Vietnamese people pilgrim to this site and it’s visited by thousands of people every day. They view Uncle Ho as a national saviour for his work in reuniting the country and come to pay their respects
Vietnamese lady selling stuff
Yes, these women are everywhere in these hats. here. The national anthem blasts down the walk-way and is incredibly catchy sporting his name within it. The whole place is one massive security operation and people file past him whilst four military guards stand watch next to the casket. Amazingly preserved body, thanks to Russia who ‘take care of him’ for two months every year. The complex contains his houses, cars and a museum. His image is absolutely everywhere (flags, t-shirts, stamps, cups, money, buildings, posters - you name it, he’s on it).
HALONG BAY - CAT BA ISLAND
Halong Bay is a World Heritage site which pretty much makes it on to all travellers’ places-to-see lists. On the east coast of Vietnam, it’s an area made up of around 2000 islets made from limestone. It also has incredibly emerald waters due to something scientific, which we instantly forgot, and some of the islands have caves. Due to its popularity, 100’s of tour operators offer various deals/trips from Hanoi. There are so many dodgy companies and so many horror stories of being ripped off; it really is enough to put anyone off. So we decided to venture over there ourselves, thus avoiding a scam. We headed
Shoes anyone?!
In the streets of Hoi An. to Cat Ba Island which is slightly to the south of Halong Bay. It turned out to be a great choice and after a 4 hour journey of taxi-bus- mini bus-boat-mini bus, we found ourselves in our $8 room with a stunning balcony view overlooking the harbour bay. It looks a bit like Scarborough and the Vietnamese tourists crowd to the island on a weekend (more on that later…). We found a great company that we’re going to shamelessly promote incase any other travellers are reading this, as they really are the best thing on the island - Slo Pony Adventures.
A day was spent on a Slo Pony cruise around Halong Bay where we were let loose on kayaks to do our own exploring of the caves and islands. At one point we did get lost at sea, causing Nikki to become immediately angry and erratic (really?). Gail vows never to sail with her again. We passed Vietnamese fishermen who actually live on floating houses in the bay and fish farming is their only income. Strangely, most of these men own dogs that have presumably never seen dry land, nor have they ever been for a walk.
In what turned out to be our final day on Cat Ba, we decided to ‘throw some money at the situation’ (yeah! From Nikki) and signed up for a day’s rock climbing! Now this is a sport that neither of us had ever done before but thanks to lovely Brian at Slo Pony we were reassured that the company specialised in first time/beginner climbers. There was a group of ten, and about 5 of us had never even looked at a wall before. So, donning our harnesses (not attractive/not funny) we joined the crappest group and scuttled our way up the cliff faces. For those of you in the know we completed a 5b French system; for those of you not in the know, this was about 30/40 meters up. By the time we got to the 3rd climb of the day, we had already fallen off the rock so much we were black and blue but we carried on regardless and had a bloody fabulous time! The third climb was draining, high and a real push. Our efforts were rewarded with amazing views from the top and a super evening out with our new buddies.
The following morning,
having all literally drunk the bar dry, we staggered in at 4.30am; we were rudely awoken by a bang on the door from the woman who ran the hotel. The conversation went like this:
Gail: ‘Urghhhhh… Hi.’
Mean Lady: ‘You leave hotel room now. 1 hour get out.’
Gail: ‘What?! Why? And no, we’re staying one more night.’
Mean Lady: ‘No. Hotel room booked. All hotel booked. Get out. You say you only stay 3 or 4 night.’
Gail: 'Erm, no we didn’t. We were always staying 5 nights.’
Mean Lady: ‘Get out.’
Our conversation then went like this:
Nikki: ‘Shit. What a bitch. I cannot believe this.’
Gail: ‘I know! I think I might be sick. I’m still drunk.’
After a frenzy of drunken packing we scraped out of the hotel but not before one of our Vietnam comedy highlights…
Still fuelled with beer, upon leaving Nikki’s job was to pay the woman. Instead, she slammed the cash down on the counter and stormed out. Upon hearing this Mr Husband shoved his chair into Nikki, then kicked the chair at her; obviously, Nikki kicked it back and Gail along with the twenty Vietnamese people who
had booked out the hotel stood watching in horror. Next, Mr Husband turns his attention to Gail who somehow manages to avoid a punch in the face whilst backing slowly out of the hotel. Mean Lady was so cross that she chased Nikki out of the hotel. Out of frustration she actually took her own shoes off and threw them at Nikki in the street! Both of them! This was then followed by some broken English homophobic abuse. I think we had the last laugh watching her sheepishly collecting her shoes in front of all her new guests. Annoyingly we were not the only people evicted and the streets were busy with backpackers who had also been subjected to eviction due to the rich Vietnamese descending to the Island at the weekend. Anyway, we ended up leaving a day early and despite immense travel sickness and hangover, Gail didn’t vomit.
We arrived back in Hanoi sharing a cab with two pretty boys who took us to a new area which had streets of bars and restaurants. Certainly an improvement on our first visit here. By this point, we were so exhausted of Asia that we did little else apart
from sleep, eat and plan our Australian adventure.
Overall, Vietnam is an incredible place to visit and offers such diversity that it’s possible to come here several times and not repeat things. The north and south are certainly different but both retain their own charm. This is a country which made us feel welcome (above woman not included) and the people here are keen to talk and share in your adventure. Definitely a place which we will come back to!
Our time in Asia has been incredible, fascinating and beyond anything we could have hoped for; sadly, all of this comes at the price of exhaustion, dirty clothes and continuous application of suncream. It’s amazing how much you miss Western culture and home-comforts. We now have June-October in Australia and can’t bloody wait!
Signing off,
Judith (Nikki) Chalmers & Judith (Gail) Chalmers
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anonymous
non-member comment
Hi, Sorry to hear your bad experience with the mean lady and her husband in Cat Ba island. If I know the name of that hotel I will email to that hotel, other hotels in Cat ba and also to cat ba tourism. I believe the more business people know about the guests 's complaints the more professional they will treat future guests. In your case they should have given you the notice the night before with some excuse. Paul