Phu Quoc dry hump.

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We jump on two motorbike taxis when we get off the boat - lucky thing too as it the pier we're dropped at the end of is half the distance of the journey! It is the end of the dry season so boats can't come in very far.

All going swimmingly until I realise, as the roads get worse and worse, that my driver may be bouncing a little more than necessary when we go over bumps and is edging further and further back on the bike! Then I start to get a whiff of alcohol from his breath! By the end I am being pretty much reverse dry-humped by a small, old, drunk Vietnamese man.

At the end of our 20-odd km drive, Xan sees by the look on my face that something's up and then realises not only has my driver been drinking but that he's actually staggering. When Xan's driver - who appears sober and normal! - offers to wait while we eat and drive us round guest houses he's told pretty firmly, erm no!

Phu Quoc is a big island but there are only a couple of pockets with Guest Houses. Find a great place to stay, in a fab wee wooden bungalow, right on the beach, well what beach there is. Only stretches about 2-3m in front of the guest house but it's more than enough, it's quiet and there's just a few people to share it with. It is hot, like 40 degrees in midday sun hot, jumping in the sea to cool down seems like a great idea, but the water is so warm (32 degrees a Swedish couple inform me) it's like having a warm bath. Amazing though, so lovely I actually get up before 7am one morning to go for a swim along the shoreline.

We have just a couple of days to chill out but make the most of it, pedicure on the beach, strolls in the surf, amazing seafood BBQ and sipping a cold beer at night while watching amazing thunderstorms over the sea, and squid boats on the horizon.

The journey back to dry land wasn't as straight forward as the way over however. Get a car taxi to the pier, no dry humping but the world's slowest driver so only just make it, and find they've way way oversold seats so are sat in the aisle on a tiny plastic stool for an arse numbing 2 hrs!

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