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November 4th 2011
Published: November 4th 2011
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Dan says:

Right so last time we met we were leaving Hoi An and heading to Nha Trang (honestly who comes up with these names!). We decided, well Andy decided he couldn't handle a 12 hour sleeper bus journey (he is too tall so can't sleep) so we decided to go half way to a place called Quy Nhon, sleep then do the rest of the journey the following day.

Quy Nhon was ok, we arrived and got a taxi down the strip and told him to stop when we saw a KFC...that was dinner and potentially breakfast sorted out! We found a decent little hotel, 3 quid each! Dropped our stuff and headed to KFC...AMAZING! Weren't really in the mood for the true Vietnamese experience tonight! We then headed to a little bar where I accidently used the womens toilet and Andy who laughed at me ended up doing the same thing! Anyway back to hotel to sleep because there is another 6 hour journey awaiting us!

We checked out around 11am and just headed to the bus station hoping there would be a bus soon enough, as soon as we got in some woman grabbed us and chucked us on her bus/van! Whilst we were waiting aswell we had a few comments about the star tattoos being tattoos for Vietnam (I think they prefered Andy's over mine because the dude even grabbed his cock! - now im not sure if that is a custom here but thankfully it hasnt happened to me - YET!).

Anyway the journey to Nha Trang was an experience I realised half way through the driver was racing against other drivers to pick passngers up along the way, so every time there was a stop people were litterally thrown off!

Anyway finally arrived in Nha Trang around 7, walked around a few hotels and finally got a decent one for around 5 quid. Lonely Planet told us there was a Mexican restuarant next door so that was all good...turns out it lied! And not for the first time on this trip! Sort it out Lonely Planet! We ate, walked about a bit got various offers for marijuana then headed back to sleep, it was a long day!

We soon sorted ourselves out with a bike and got exploring...we found our way to the mud baths where Andy, thanks to some laxatives covered himself in his own mud! It was a wierd feeling sitting in warm mud though, although I never really noticed any difference to the health of my skin! We then drove back where i realised the waves in the sea were HUGE. I had to step up...loads of locals told us not to go in but i wasn't bothered i jumped straight in and got THROWN straight out! Them waves meant business...in i go again, only to be washed up at some locals feet a few minutes later!

Next day after dealing with the aches and pains from having my ass handed to me by the sea we headed to Vinpearl...the big waterpark island in Nha Trang...10 minutes in a cable car and we were there! Burger and chips first then 3 times in a row on some flimsy rollercoaster...it really wasnt that busy and we soon found out why...within 5 minutes the heavens had opened and the SEA was falling on us...literally...well not literally that would be ridiculous! We tool shelter in the aquarium which was cool got to see some wierd looking fish and even went around on a travelator! it was like gladiators! except in an aquarium?! Soon after we hit the water park and got around the rides pretty quick...Andy even screamed on one! The wave pool was awesome...apparently the biggest in South East Asia...didnt seem that big to me!! The sea was much better and less forgiving if you lost your footing as i often did! Anyway a few slides and sore shoulder blades later we were ready to head back but not without making another stop at the beach, i wanted round 2 with the sea...sure enough I LOST! got smashed up!!

We sorted our travel out for our next stop Mui Ne and then that night we just went and drank in Wave bar were we made quite good friends with the girls that worked there! The walk home was also eventful with 4 prostetutes stopping us and seeming to feel us up when they were actually searching our pockets..sly slags as i called them! We soon got tired of them pushing and trying to get us in alleys so Andy turned around and even to my surprise shouted "RIGHT JUST FUCK OFF NOW" to which they and me all jumped and then they ran away HAHAHA dumb slags!

Anyway thats my 60 minutes for now, until next time xx

Andy says:

We arrived in Mui Ne after a pretty smooth 4-5 hour journey on another sleeper bus which was weird given that it was during the middle of the day! Went through some pretty awesome scenery on the way not that Dan would remember any since as per usual he was snoozing away happily probably dreaming of pizza or something. We didn't manage to find the place we had planned to stay in but it worked out pretty well since we found a sweet bungalow place right on the beach - we spotted the free pool table from the road so that was the decision made for us, the awesome room and beach were just added bonuses! It was crazy hot so we headed straight for the beach and were a bit disappointed to find that the waves weren't as mental as in Nha Trang but the danger element was still in place in the form of kite surfers and body boarders who seemingly didn't care if there were innocent swimmers like myself and Dan in their way! Mui Ne is a really chilled out place so it was easy to relax and enjoy the beach and the weather. The next day we got a moped and headed out to the white sand dunes. I wasn't expecting too much but when we got there they were huge - totally don't need to visit the Sahara now! We'd heard that getting ATV's on the sand was a laugh so went to the place and bartered the dude down to 200,000 Dong (around 6 quid) for 20 minutes. Within minutes of being on the sand Dan had managed to break his while I was thrashing mine around on the dunes! Luckily the ATV dude saw him and brought a replcament so off we went doing donuts and inadvertant jumps left, right and Chelsea! Was a good laugh and the time went way too quickly. We then decided to hike up to the top of the dunes to take some photos without really considering the immense heat or crazy wind! By the time we came down we were pretty much covered in sand but it was worth it. On the way back we decided one set of dunes wasn't enough so hit up the red ones too. They were smaller but just as awesome if you could ignore the kids trying to sell you a go on their 'sand sled' which was just a sheet of plastic and when I made one of them show me whether it was worth the money it just looked pants so we didn't bother much to their disappointment. One of them randomly started grabbing my crouch so at least they got something out of me I guess! They are all very over familiar over here!

The rest of the time spent in Mui Ne was mainly chilling and playing pool and discovering how immense the National Geographic channel is! We decided to get a bike again a couple of days later and just followed the coast to Phan Tiet (which stinks!) for no reason other than we could! It seemed like a big town so we were looking for some sort of fast food place to sort out our desire for a decent burger! Luckily Dan's eagle eyes spotted a Lotteria which is a cheap fast food place over here so it was straight in there for the most amazing french fries (on a par with McDonalds I'd say!). We then went to a supermarket to see what weird stuff they sell - in the salad cart bit you could get some nice worms to put on your salad or at the meat counter pretty much any part of any animal you wanted! Dan even had his face stroked by some random dude whilst decided which jar of peanut butter he wanted to buy! On the way back we decided to visit Red Canyon and the Fairy River which some people had told us was decent. When we picked up the bike the shop guy had weirdly said 'If the police stop you, keep on going' which at the time hadn't really registered. It also didn't register when, on the way to the river, a policeman jumped in the road and ordered us to pull over! Two officers tried to grab the bike and the main dude (a massive jobsworth) said that Dan couldn't drive any more because his license wasn't valid for bikes. We already know that you don't need a specific bike license to rent bikes over here so it was a blatant attempt at getting money out of us. When we started arguing the main police dude started waving his baton around like he was the big man in town so I told him to get back in his box and that for all we cared he could keep the bike since it wasn't ours and we just got off and took the keys and helmets with us. There was obviously something dodgy going on so we went back to the shop and told the guy we wanted some money back given that we'd lost half a day's hire and had to get a cab back into the resort. He said we weren't due anything and in actual fact we were lucky he wasn't charging us the fee he would have to pay the police to get the bike back. It was at that moment I decided he had shafted us so kept the keys which I had planned to give back to him (and which he had asked for but I told him the police still had them along with the helmets) and threw them in the sea later that night! It's about time some Dandy justice was dished out over here!

After Mui Ne we got on a crazy bus into the mountains and are now in Dalat for the next few days. Seems like a really cool town although I was mainly just glad to be off the bus after some crazy mountain road driving had us flying all over the place and brought screams from a lot of people on board (not us of course, we're far too manly for that - I was just inwardly terrified and Dan was asleep as usual!). We got here yesterday and have booked canyoning for tomorrow which involves abseiling down 25 metre waterfalls and jumping into pools etc - should be a good laugh. Today we got another bike and went to find Elephant Falls. In all honesty I was starting to get a bit bored with waterfalls especially knowing we have more planned for tomorrow but these were pretty call because we could go behind them! I have to come clean here and admit that I once again got caught short with another dose of 'Vietnamese tummy' as we got into the cave behind the falls. Luckily it was just me and Dan there so I jumped behind a rocked and lost a bit more pride in myself! We got absolutely soaked behind the falls but it was an awesome experience. The rest of the day has been spent buzzing around on the bike, visiting a place called Crazy House (wasn't that crazy) and now it's time for some pizza!

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