The King and I

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Beijing is not the world's most beautiful city. There isn't much nearby in the way of natural scenery, apart from the mountains to the north and west (though those are often obscured by the thick layer of "fog" that is perpetually decorating the city skyline). The bitter cold of winter, choking dust of spring and stifling heat of summer leave much to be desired. But then there's the fall. This most glorious of seasons brings us crystal blue skies, puffy white clouds and a gentle breeze that tickles the senses. So, it makes perfect sense that it is during this most magnificent time of the year that Beijingers escape the city in mass exodus to countryside hometowns and tropical oases in neighboring Asian countries.

It's China's birthday.

To celebrate this momentous occasion, the government gifts us with a week-long holiday (ahem, not really, as two of the days are the weekend and we have to "make up" an additional two days by working over the weekend after the holiday). At any rate, it is an opportunity to be seized for travel and adventure. Or, you know, lying on a beach in Thailand blissfully reading about environmental degradation in China, which is what I did. Kind of.

The original plan was to fly into Bangkok with my friend, Wen Lei, sightsee for a couple of days, fly to Phuket for three days of beach time at a five-star resort and then fly back to Beijing in time to begin the seven-day work week. Things did not go exactly according to plan.

It's always a good idea to travel with an open mind and a willingness to go with the flow, since things almost never work out the way one envisions they might. Wen Lei and I arrived in Bangkok at 7 PM, charged through the airport to customs and promptly realized that every single other person in the mammoth, packed customs hall was clutching a white arrival card that we had somehow missed receiving on the airplane. And I mean absolutely everyone else. Even 3-month-old babies were waving their arrival cards in the air, sneering in a cute baby way at our naiveté.

When things don't go according to plan, the best thing to do is to make a new plan. Wen Lei held our place in line while I trotted around the customs hall, attempting to find someone who spoke English who could tell me where to get our forms. After pantomiming 'customs form' to an Indian couple, Japanese family and a Dutch guy who I'm pretty certain could speak fluent English but just enjoyed watching me flap my hands in the air fruitlessly (I shuddered to think what would happen when we had to find a public toilet), I found an English-speaking, Thai airport security guard who procured two arrival forms for me. First crisis averted.

After checking into our cute little hostel located in a local Thai neighborhood, we decided to hit the town. We'd heard good things about a "Patpong Market" and thought that visiting one of Bangkok's famous night markets would be an excellent introduction to the country.

It turned out to be an excellent introduction to Bangkok's unflinching sex industry. Wen Lei and I were offered the opportunity to view every conceivable fetish known to adults- and whole slew of activities that I'd never heard of and had no desire to be exposed to (no pun intended). Instead, we browsed the aisles piled high with the exact same wares we could find at any tourist market in Beijing. The first night was a bust.

We both woke up early the next morning, ready to explore. The proprietar of the hostel where we were staying was already up, cooking an authentic Thai breakfast for his guests. It was served with freshly squeezed papaya juice and was the real introduction to Thailand that we had been craving. Throughout our stay at (here comes the plug) Focal Local in Bangkok, we were continually impressed by the quality of the service Karan provided for each one of his guests. If anyone reading this blog is inclined to travel to Bangkok, please stay with Karan. You won't regret it.

The rest of our stay in Bangkok was enjoyable but uneventful. We checked out the Chatachuk weekend market (but neglected to visit each one of its 20,000+ stalls), had dinner on the 76th floor of a hotel overlooking the city and I even got to go to church on Sunday morning. I commented more than once that I could picture myself living in Bangkok, with its friendly people, international cuisine and immaculate public toilets. But I'd have to learn Thai first....

It was interesting how few people spoke English, yet the advertisements and billboards around the city displayed perfect English translations. In China, the names of hospitals and roads are translated quite literally, so the English phrase ends up being a confusing mix of English and Chinese, or "Chinglish". For example, the menu item 'Italian Spaghetti' may be translated as 'Ideas Powder', which is the literal translation of the Chinese name. In stark contrast, the "Italian Spaghetti" was known as "Spaghetti Bolognaise" in Thailand. What was the difference? Did the Thai royal court employ an army of diligent foreign copyeditors whose only task was to rid the city of "Thaiglish"? Did everyone secretly speak perfect English, merely getting a kick out of watching foreigners frantically try to mime the phrase for "explosive diarrhea"? It puzzled me to no end while I was in Thailand and now that I'm back in Beijing, I still haven't figured it out.

Part two of the trip, in the picturesque southern island of Phuket, was supposed to be luxurious and rejuvenating. We had booked a package deal at a five-star resort through gaopeng.com, Groupon's first foray into the Chinese marketplace. The photos on the website were gorgeous- white, sandy beaches; cloudless, azure blue skies; crystal clear water. Mistake #1 on our part was neglecting to check the weather patterns of Thailand prior to booking our holiday. Turns out, there is an annual monsoon season. In October. Early October, to be exact. As in, the same time we were there. And this year it was a doozy of a season.

We got an inkling of what was in store as our plane flew low over the South China Sea to make its landing, rain splashing down on the wings. It was still pouring as we checked into our open air hotel in Phuket, but the freshly squeezed guava juice presented to us in beautiful glasses on a silver serving tray was somewhat mollifying.

Then the general manager of the hotel came to talk to us. That's never a good sign, unless you're a very important person. Which, of course, we are, but not particularly in the same circles as those VIPs who attract hotel managers upon arrival.

Apparently, the website through which we had booked the hotel package had fabricated many of the details regarding what was included in the package. We were also not the first guests arriving from China who were facing the same issue. My initial reaction was one of annoyance- yet another instance of total disregard for honesty, customer service and goodwill from a Chinese company! Yet, I couldn't allow myself to stray all the way down that road of anger. It wouldn't benefit me, Wen Lei, nor the hotel staff in Thailand. I had to find a way to accept the circumstances and look on the bright side.

Fortunately, our room was included in the price. The resort itself was gorgeous and just up the road from the beach (close enough to get to the beach in five minutes' walking, but far enough away that the 2005 tsunami did not damage the hotel grounds). After a brief discussion, Wen Lei and I decided to check into our room and enjoy our stay, choosing not to dwell on the unfortunate twist on our vacation.

It was a good thing we were in such a positive state of mind, because it poured rain all day. We sat on our balcony reading, shielded by an overhang and palm trees that blocked the sheets of horizontal rain that were coming down (or rather going sideways). We were both in desperate need of time to relax and so even though we weren't lying in bikinis on the beach with tropical drinks in hand, it was still a little slice of heaven.

Then we woke up on the second morning of our three-day stay. The sky was black as night and the rain continuing to pound down on the resort. We enjoyed the bountiful breakfast buffet and exchanged lamentations with other hotel guests. Then we realized that we were violating our self-imposed happiness policy and decided to remedy it immediately. We put on our bikinis, grabbed some umbrellas (for funsies, since, obviously, it was pouring rain and we were wearing swimsuits...) and headed to the beach.

It was raining so hard we were afraid our contacts would wash out. We ran around the beach, squinting, half-blind, getting knocked around by the enormous swells coming out of the ocean. A small crowd gathered on the patio of the hotel restaurant to watch us. It. Was. Awesome. And cold. But mostly awesome.

After the adventure of the first two days in Thailand, we had given up all thoughts of sunny beach time and were perfectly content to wile away the hours reading in our luxurious room. So, naturally, the third day of our vacation was brilliantly sunny with blue skies and a gentle breeze. It looked like we'd get our beach time after all.

Despite the hiccups along the way, Wen Lei and I had a great time in Thailand. All of these experiences serve to make me a more open-minded, easygoing personality and able to accept change as it comes. Life is all about learning and we certainly learned a lot about Thailand- the culture, the history, the people, the language. And, of course, to never, ever plan a trip to Thailand in October.

Trust me.

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Photos

This About Sums It Up
Phuket

Comments

[Poom]

Thank you for visitIng Thailand.
Sawasdee krup. I've just read your trip story.I like it. Hope you visit Thailand again. The north of Thailand is also good. There are also many beautiful beaches in the south like koh lipe,railay beach,similan. Thanks again. Khop khun krup