Thailand - Koh Samui, Koh Phangan & Koh Tao

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Koh Samui
The journey from Phuket to Koh Samui was never going to be an easy one as we had to cross Thailand West to East which is a fair old trek and after our last adventure we didn’t have high hopes. However nothing was going to prepare us for what happened next. The plan was simple... get picked up at the hotel, two buses and a boat and we’d be there. Things went wrong pretty much straight away; firstly we spent the first four hours crammed into a mini bus full of French people. Now I have nothing against the French but my god don’t they moan!! 4 HOURS of constant winging. The man in front of us was a massive beefcake type guy we nicknamed ‘Princess’ as to the common eye he was a frightening monster but as soon as we were in the minivan he winged constantly about how uncomfortable he was and even used his girlfriends head as a pillow at one point against the window! The lady next to me was a proper 5 star queen who was just horrendous, she had a bag on her feet that wasn’t her own (we all did) but she kicked off until Lynds took it off her. The other guys were just as bad and by the time the first change over came we climbed out quickly to get away from them all.
We then spent a good hour with around 50 other people waiting at the roadside with no-one knowing just what was happening and every time someone asked they just got told “don’t worry” by the locals. Eventually these Tuk-Tuk arrived to take us on the next leg of the journey... they crammed Lynds and I and a chap we’d met called Geoff onto this Tuk-Tuk that was already full. The result was that I was on a seat that was poking out of the back on the Tuk-Tuk by at least 2 feet while we sped down these bumpy roads, at least twice I was nearly bumped straight off the back and would have been had Lynds not grabbed me at the last minute!! However I would have taken near death anytime compared to our French experience, so was smiling away. Eventually we changed onto our final bus and much to my horror the same French people got back on ugh! To compound my misery we then spent the next 2 hours watching re-runs of ‘Mr Bean’ as that was all the coach driver had to play.
All in all when the coach dropped us off at the port I was ready to swim to Koh Samui rather than get on a boat with them all but we finally made it to the hotel, dropped our bags off and went straight to a bar to get drunk. I think the final straw with these French people was when they tried to steal our cab to the hotel. Luckily Geoff saw this and saved the day!
Our Hotel was lovely, situated on ‘Big Buddha Beach’ it was a very small path off the main road that held five huts. Our hut was the nearest, very basic inside but that’s all you need. The porch was the best bit, we could sit out in the sun just chilling out and one evening even created our own cinema to allow us a small taste of home using our DVD player and some towels hung on the washing line. As you walked down the path it leads straight onto the beach, which was remote and beautiful. The sea was warm and so calm. The waves couldn’t have been more than an inch high.
There isn’t much to do but eat, drink and sunbath but after the madness of Phuket it was perfect for a couple of days. I also found a shop selling Marmite which was outstandingly good fortune on my part as this vegemite stuff just doesn’t cut it.
I think we are both slowly getting used to this travelling business, living out of a back pack, washing your own cloths in the shower... turning your underpants inside out to increase the wear time (not really) it becomes the norm pretty quickly. You don’t have the mod cons you’re used to but you find ways to adapt fairly easily. It’s a simple life but I can see why people love it so much. You begin to appreciate the little things a lot more, for example we now have a washing line here and you’d think I’d won the lottery. It’s sad I know but little things...

Koh Phangan
After arriving on the boat from Koh Samui we departed into the streets of Koh Phangan. Our accommodation for the next 3 nights was a place called ‘Top Hill Bungalows’ and inspired by our relative ease at getting here we decided with no map or directions to walk to our hotel...The internet had said it was a 10min walk from the town, so we hatched a deviously simple plan... find a hill and walk up it until we found our destination!
Full of determination we set off... it was an epic failure... Hot, sweaty with sore backs and shoulders an hour later we found ourselves back at the same point we’d started at after setting off in totally the wrong direction!
A nice man in the local curry house took pity on us so over some poppadom’s and chutney he pointed us in the right direction and off we went once again!!
‘Top Hill’ was a bit of an understatement really... the road that led us there was called ‘Mountain Road’ and that was far closer to the mark. The hike was like a death march up the hill and eventually we arrived and almost crawled in. The reception is more like a bamboo hut/bar and the pity looks we received when we collapsed in from the other residents were very much ‘we feel your pain’ having been there themselves and the owner (named Mr T) just smiled with a look that said ‘dickheads...you should have got a cab’ but he at least gave us a bottle of water and led us to a hammock to recover.
This place is the honestly the most amazing and frankly the most dangerous place I’ve ever been too. Our room is situated on 15/20foot stilts and there is no banister to help you get up there. You have to climb monkey style and when you’re finally up there is no rail to stop you falling off. Silently I decided to myself that maybe now would be a good time to give up drink for three days as there was no way I’d do that drunk!.. The room itself was a basic hut but would do just fine...
The reception/bar is brilliant though... you sit in a bamboo style hut on the cliff top with just spectacular views of the ocean while Mr T just plays music all day to help you relax. We spent hours chatting away to him and he was explaining that his girlfriend as a child loved the book ‘Alice in Wonderland’ so he has based this place on ‘Wonderland’ and indeed the place is actually called ‘Top Hill Resort in Wonderland’. It’s a total mishmash of hammocks, comfy cushions, patch work table cloths and colour everywhere but it all works to create somewhere that you can just totally relax in.
It has internet too which quite impressive considering where we are and in fact the only down side is the electrics. Just before I started to write this I plugged the laptop in and the socket started sparking blue fire, shocked I took it out straight away and Mr T just looked at me and said ‘You’ll be fine, don’t worry’ and told me just to carry on trying... the concern about my safety is a little worrying but what do you expect for £10 a night... all in all we are both very pleased.
First day here though and we had a bit of a shock, after going to pick up my bag a massive spider came crawling out of it and just sat there looking at me. This thing was massive, maybe he’d heard I’d eaten his cousin in Cambodia or something but he wasn’t the friendly looking sort... However in the disturbance (i.e. Lynds making a bee-line for the front door) the spider escaped and we still cannot find his whereabouts... In an effort to make him seem friendlier (and to coax Lynds back in at night) we’ve called him ‘Ted’. Hopefully ‘Ted’ has moved out but if I wake up with him looking at me, I won’t be best pleased...
Koh Phangan is the Island best known for the ‘Full Moon’ Party, and people flock in their thousands to party on the beach. The only problem we have is that we are here just before the ‘Full Moon’ so the place is pretty dead to be honest. It’s a nice town but you can tell everything revolves around the full moon party... sadly we leave before the party starts as we just have so much to see but I think it would be a wicked weekend to come back. The bars here just play films, The Simpsons or Family Guy all day and the people are much more like the travellers I’d expected to meet. We saw one guy on the boat who could have only been in his twenties, he had a massive beard and his clothes were just a grey bed sheet with string tired round his waste and ankle’s. All his worldly possessions were in a bag made up of another bed sheet again tied with string... you do kind of think ‘ maybe you should have gone home a few years ago mate’...
We decided one evening to try the local curry house, the same one in fact that had taken pity on us when we first arrived. We hadn’t eaten an Indian since....well, since we had a takeaway back home so it was a nice change. Like we always do, we managed to order far too much food but we did see a guy who bore a striking resemblance to Lyndsey’s brother Craig. I am getting a little unnerved now as this is the second time we have seen someone that looks like Craig and I’m beginning to wonder if Lyndsey’s mum Pam hasn’t sent him out here to make sure I don’t lose their little girl!
It’s nice and peaceful though, especially in our hotel bar but I think if you’re going to come make sure it’s for the Full Moon party, there doesn’t seem much else to do. On a positive note though the walk down the hill has become much easier mainly due to Mr T putting us in the back of his truck and speeding down while we bounce around in the back holding on for dear life.
Final night and still no sign of ‘Ted’ however upon entering our hut ‘Ted’ became the least of our worries as we found a massive lizard up on the wall. It was about a foot long as just as we were wondering what to do it crawled out through a hole and disappeared into the gap between the inner and outer walls. With ‘Ted’ and our new friend about it was a long old last night...
Anyway off to Koh Tao...

Koh Tao
We’ve booked ourselves into the local hostel (eight person mixed dorm) as we had been unable to find any other accommodation in Koh Tao for the time we wanted. What we didn’t realise until we arrived was that many people go to Koh Tao and Koh Samui before the full moon party and then start heading over just before it begins so the place was heaving. The dorm was in the right location, it was cheap, so we thought why not... we wouldn’t be there much anyway. We also thought it would be a good way to meet some different people. Little did we know that within 24 hours we would have checked into three different hotels...
Upon arriving in Koh Tao, we jumped into the back of a pickup truck/taxi and headed off. Koh Tao is a very small island so very easy and quick to get around. The common form of transport here is a scooter or a pick-up truck so after a very bumpy but fun journey we arrived and checked in. Nearly straight away we hated it in the dorm, our first thoughts as we entered our room was that the smell was just terrible. Three of our fellow backpackers were these hung-over lad’s who smelt, didn’t say hello and had their stuff all over the floor. We quietly made our beds and started putting bits and pieces into the lockers. However, you felt as though you couldn’t make a sound whilst trying to do this. We also found ourselves speaking in hushed tones whilst getting moody looks from the three stooges so not the warmest of welcomes... We then met two more of our room mates who again didn’t say a word to us and grumpily got into bed...
Stuff this we thought we are out of here so the following morning we checked out and found a little bungalow where at least we had a bit of personal space. However within a few hours of being in there we discovered it was infested with massive evil spiders the kind that rear their legs and run at you... so once again we though stuff this and check out before we’d even stayed one night. Finally we found a lovely little hotel room and could relax!
My thoughts are that sometimes you have to rough it and that’s fine you just get on with it, but if you don’t need to why put yourself though it... Besides Lynds was really looking forward to coming back here so I wanted it to go well.
Koh Tao is a very beautiful island and provides a nice middle ground between the quiet tranquil of Koh Samui and the party atmosphere of Koh Phangan. The ocean doesn’t reach further than your knee for what seems like miles and is crystal clear. There are also endless trees to laze under or plenty of bar’s where you can just sit on a cushion on the beach grab a cocktail and watch the world go by. At night, Koh Tao comes alive with fire dancers, Thai lamps and music. It’s all very chilled out. You also see Chinese Lanterns being regularly sent up into the sky every few minutes. These are paper thin cylinders with a small fire lit underneath in a holder. The heat rises from the fire, fills the lantern and off it goes into the night. Most people write messages on them, we ourselves did and it just adds a personal touch to it. However you do have to chuckle when someone writes something romantic and the lantern then catches fire 10 feet into the air and plummets into the sea. The look on their faces is as if some higher power has spoken and they are doomed, which is certainly not the case but the whole beach laughs and eventually they join in.
To pass the days we sit on the beach or wander around the shops but we did one particular day hire a kayak for the afternoon. The plan was to kayak to another island nearby which is a national reserve, chill out and then kayak back. However my initial guess of 20 minutes to reach it was way off. It took nearly an hour of backbreaking paddling to reach the island which was nearly a mile and a half away against the current and we were just shattered when we got there. But it was well worth it as when we finally recovered we hiked to the top of the island just to be treated to some of the most spectacular views I have ever seen.
It’s our favourite island in Thailand by far which is why we stayed for a week in the end and it is with a heavy heart that we have to pack back up again and head back up to Bangkok. Hopefully this time the journey will go better!

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