Can't Thai Me Down.

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Got my backpack. Got my guitar. I'm trying to find the train station and getting lost in the process. I ask people but no one understands English. There's a man outside his shop sitting at a table. He looks at me and says the only word he knows in English. "Beer?" Yes, please. So I sit down with him and all his friends and we start sipping down suds. We had delightful conversation for an hour despite not being able to speak each others language. I draw a picture of some train tracks and they tell me how to get to the train station and wrote the word down so I can show people if I get lost again. 4 beers down as I get up, they stop me and gave me a stone with a carving of a Buddha for protection. This was my first day in Thailand.

I was continuing my journey North overland from Malaysia deep into the South of Thailand. Despite the lovely Thai hospitality, the southern edge of the country is riddled with political strife. Guns and sandbags mark guard along every highway like locks along the river, aimed to isolate and contain violent political expression. Luckily no anger flooded the gates and the trip was a pleasant one.

However lovely the people I met (and they were all extremely friendly) were, it was clouded by illness. I was used to being a little sick here and there throughout my travels but this one took the cake. My head felt like it was in a fishbowl and reality was delayed by half a second. I felt extremely weak and had nightmares about socialism (Later diagnosis revealed reading Ayn Rand's Fountainhead was a contributing factor). I thought it would wash over and that this 'flu' would go away. Traveling alone I didn't realize how messed up I was. For 2 weeks I was just in this hazy funk that I couldn't explain. Only later did I realize that I had all the symptoms of Dengue Fever, which is in the Malaria family of diseases. There's no vaccine and no cure for it. You just suck it up until it's over. I was extremely lucky though. I met another guy months later who had all the same symptoms as I did. He was in such bad shape when he got to the hospital that he needed a blood transfusion and had to be flown out of the country. Beware the tropical diseases.

Needless to say not much was accomplished those 2 weeks. I did take a train to Bangkok from southern Thailand that was the worst ride I had ever experienced in my whole life. It was supposed to be 20 hours and ended up being over 25. We got stuck in a tunnel and everyone thought it would be a good idea to smoke in a place where there is zero ventilation so no oxygen could get in. There was so much smoke that people thought the train was on fire. After we inched out of the tunnel we discovered we had the Little Engine That Couldn't and had to switch our motorcar out for another one. Twice. The whole event was a serious endurance contest.

Bangkok is truly a city with no curfew. There's no hour in the day that the roads aren't pummeled with traffic. Tuk-tuks, malls, markets, restaurants, bars, food stands, street vendors, prostitutes, massages and cheap t-shirts -- all on the same street. It's full of life and craziness. For backpackers and travelers alike, Bangkok is their Mecca. And their Black Rock is Koa San Road. Backpackers, flashpackers, tourists, vacationers, hippies, gap-yearers, pensioners, bohemians and Koreans all flood this street 24 hours a day. At any one moment a hundred different languages can be heard walking down the street. It's an absolute mix of different types of travelers doing different sorts of things but for some reason they are all attracted to this one street. Nevertheless I wouldn't call Bangkok a romantic city. It's more like a cheap date - not the best looking but you're gonna have a good time.

Under the effects of my Dengue haze I was just another zombie on the run. I'd heard that there was a strong dichotomy between Bangkok and Chiang Mai, the big city that lays in the North. Travelers in Thailand are either a Bangkok person or a Chiang Mai person. Bangkok is full of commercialism, markets, and electronics. Chiang Mai has over 200 wats, or temples, monks in saffron and construction orange lining the streets, and the city limits are met with encroaching forests and mountains. I found that I was charmed by neither city. Chiang Mai was this empty promise inside a spiritual bubble. Had no substance. Nonetheless, I decided to hitch a ride to a well known temple outside the city called Wat Umong or the Forest Temple. Here I was met by Theravada Buddhist monks and decided to take a meditation course there.

The course was individual based with little instructor involvement. Maybe you were checked up on every other day. The goal was whatever you made it. Most aimed for a sort of inner serenity or clarity. Here was our daily schedule:

4:00 AM -- Wake up
5:00 AM -- Meditate
7:00 AM -- Clean the Temple
7:20 AM -- Eat Breakfast
8:00 AM -- Rest or Read
9:00 AM -- Meditate
12:30 PM -- Lunch
1:30 PM -- Meditate
3:30 PM -- Rest
4:00 PM -- Meditate
6:00 PM -- Chocolate Milk Break
7:00 PM -- Meditate
9:15 PM -- Sleep

Highlights of this way of life are 9 hours of meditation a day and no food after 12:40 in the afternoon. Instruction was occasionally given by this very young Vietnamese monk. He taught us how to do different sitting meditation positions and a form of walking meditation. The idea is to focus on what makes up your individual reality, like what are the exact sounds you are hearing now, and how does your mind interact with this sensory input. It's a way of disciplining your mind and understanding our realities better.

By now I was cured of all physical illness (though I'm sure my spiritual venture had little to do with it) and I was antsy with moving on to more hedonistic activities. So I detached myself from the Buddha way of life and left for Pai, a little town to the North-West. Pai is a small backpacker town surrounded by hills and rice fields. Bit of a social hot spot, it was nice change from traveling completely solo for so long. I caught up with a girl I'd met at Wat Umong, Ms Vanessa from Australia, and I was cordially invited to her birthday party that evening. Little did I know how popular Ms Vanessa was. Although she was traveling completely by herself, 30 people showed up to her b-day party. Australians, Austrians, Americans, English, Irish, Fins, Thais, Germans, and Argentinians were among the countries represented at this engagement. It was a real smash and someone went ahead and bought a Thai b-day cake. The frosting tasted like butter with food coloring. Delicious.

The next day several of us met up again to rent motorcycles and drive through the countryside. Vanessa rode with me and Steve and Cara took the other bike. We first drove up to a local waterfall to go for a swim. I've learned that waterfalls can be deceivingly dangerous in Thailand. Not really due to natural elements involved but by the people that come. Usually there's a local group of Thais that are at the waterfall socializing. And they invite you to come over and join them to talk. Boom. They whip out this bottle of local moon shine and start pouring you shot after shot. I found it difficult to maintain sobriety every time I went to some sort of water source in Thailand. Luckily, this time last call came well before inebriation hit. We just enjoyed the rock climbing and swimming.

We got up to leave and air-dried our way to the elephant farms. Thailand is the Land of Elephants. Some locals still use them for work and transportation. Nearby there were many farms that did tours with the elephants and you could take them swimming in the river. However, upon arrival we deduced that many of the elephants were probably not being treated very well. Well, really. What do I know about animal care? But they were on short chains, and although they had plenty to eat, they didn't seem very happy. And if you make an elephant upset, they might forgive you but they'll never forget. I approached a baby elephant to introduce myself but it wrapped it's trunk around my arm and pulled me to him. I freaked out a bit and wrenched my arm from his grip. I'm going to be honest and say at the time I had forgotten if elephants were herbivores or carnivores. Is this a safe situation? Should I really be this close to him? Like hell I was gonna take that risk. Just one look and you can see the blood thirst in his eyes. Maybe they were chained up for my own safety. Hmmmm, don't know if I could get PETA behind that one. Later we did find out that the elephants were set free in the jungle at nighttime. So we can all sleep more soundly at night for that, I guess.

I was making for the general direction of the country of Laos to the North and my new good Aussie friend Vanessa was headed the same way. So with a new side kick (well maybe I was the side kick. Who knows?) we first set off for Chiang Rai, another important city in the north of Thailand. We rented another motorcycle here and set off for some local points of interest outside the city. We were lost for hours going through a maze of rice fields. Local farmers would look at us quizzically then smile and wave madly at us. Every encounter we had with the locals was, for both parties, a very happy and very confusing experience. Doesn't matter if you understand the situation. If you want to make friends, you just smile and laugh a lot.

Our final stop in Thailand was the world famous 'Golden Triangle'!! This famous landmark is where the countries of Thailand, Laos, and Burma all meet together and was the largest opium producing region in the world for 30 years (though now Afghanistan overshadows them in this department). Opium (poppy seed) is a narcotic plant that has been used through Eastern history for it's medical properties. In it's most basic form it can be smoked or made into a tea. In the 18th century, it was discovered with some further processing one could derive morphine from the poppy seed plant. In the following century, further research discovered that heroin could be made as well. All three forms have the same basic properties: they are highly sedative in its effects and highly addictive in its use. Heroin was introduced into the world market by Burmese rebels who could provide armed protection for drug trafficking. It was what funded their movement. The idea became popular and even today you can see other groups doing the same thing. Cocaine funds FARC rebels in Columbia. Heroin funds Al-Queda terrorists in Afghanistan. Marijuana funds medical doctors in California. You get the idea.

Since the mid-90s, many of the Burmese rebels have been silenced and opium production from the region is way down. In all three countries it is highly illegal to produce or traffic opiate products. Many of the countries will execute you for it. There are huge projects to replace the poppy seed with cash crops so the locals have a financially viable alternative. Nevertheless the region still participates in the opium world market and is a ways off from kicking the habit.

With that lovely cultural roller coaster coming to a close, Vanessa and I soon found ourselves on a long boat journey into the sleepy land of Laos, the most heavily bombed and land-mined country in the world.

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Photos

Wat (Temple)
It is common to find two dragon-snakes protecting the entrance of a Wat throughout South-East Asia.

Be a good Buddha now...
Buddhism is not shy about having Buddha figures.

Respect my Spiritual Authoritay
A slight bow is a respectful greeting in the East as a handshake is a respectful greeting in the West.

The Buddha's Word
Through the forest around Wat Umong were quotes from the Buddha. I found this one the most enlightening.

I spy a Stuppa!
Stuppa at local temple.

'Wat's that?
Lost in Chiang Rai's rice fields. Only marker is a stuppa in the distance.

Vanessa and Pete
Artist-adventurer girl Vanessa and writer-philosopher boy Pete

Time to Go
Our last night in Chiang Rai and we found the local clock tower turned into a light-show every hour.

Happy Buddha
Attraction at the 'Golden Triangle'. At the top of the steps you could put a coin in a ramp that went into the Buddha's stomach. When it hit his stomach, a loud soundbite came on and said "Ho ho ho. Happy Buddha!!"