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Published: August 11th 2013
Up bright and early we set off on the Simba Sea Tour Sunrise Tour of Phi Phi... With rave reviews on Tripadvisor and the promise of being one step ahead of the crowds, we booked Simba for our last day in Thailand. My friend Rob and his family were also booked on the same tour so I was excited to spend some time with Rob sober and see Phi Phi Island. Having been to Thailand many times, I have always avoided the cliche "Phi Phi Island" day tour with a stop at the famous Maya Bay, made famous by Leonardo DiCaprio in the Movie "The Beach". I have heard many stories of it being overcrowded with speedboats and tourists and the chances of a photo not filled with either of them rare.. and it never really inspired me to go check it out... The promise of an empty Maya Bay with Simba seemed too good to be true!
The start of our trip from Phuket was slow as the tide was extremely low and the crew had to ensure we got out a very narrow passage of deep water.. This was evident by a capsized boat we saw
on the way, that had capsized due to the low tide! lol ... I was feeling a little worse for wear on the way out due to a slight hangover but Rob's son was also really bad and Ben was feeling it too... Prior to getting on the boat, I was questioning whether I was actually going to be able to make it through a day on a boat... but by the time we reached Maya Bay I perked up for breakfast.. We ate breakfast in the tranquility of "The Beach" and had it virtually to ourselves... When we were almost ready to leave, all the other tours started rolling in and the beach was packed by the time we made our way out of the bay!
We visited a small bright blue Lagoon for a swim as well as Monkey Beach to feed the monkeys.. for those that have followed my blogs you know how much I hate monkeys... with a passion.. they are evil little f**krs! We got to Monkey Beach and there were heaps of these scary mongrels! As we pulled up a couple more tourist boats pulled up.. they were your typical cheap
ass backpacker type tours with 50 people per boat.. We had been warned by Simba staff to be careful about the monkeys as they were random and could bite! We all sat there and watched in horror and amusement as the backpackers on the other tours started running up to the monkeys and were getting up really close to them to get their photos done... There were a few very close calls where the monkeys became quite aggressive to the people and they all just laughed thinking it was really cute.. clearly noone had warned them of the dangers and it was extremely scary to watch how stupid people can be.. At one point the monkeys started getting aggressive towards each other as well and a fight broke out in the middle of all the people between a couple of monkeys.. People were screaming and scrambling everywhere.. it was absolutely horrific to watch.. we all decided we had enough and didnt want to see someone get bit so we headed off.. We toured along the coastline of Phi Phi Island and then we found a deserted beach for lunch...
Lunch was beautiful and after a swim and
some tanning, we headed off into the sunset back to Phuket... Later that night Ben and I did some last minute shopping and had a nice dinner in the OTop Markets. We headed back to the hotel and I decided to get one last massage... When I got back to the hotel room, I commented to Ben that I felt a little off but just brushed it off... We jumped in bed for an early night as we had a huge day of travelling to head home the next day... We had a flight to KL at about 10am, then a midnight flight to Sydney, another flight a few hours later to Melbourne, a night in Melbourne and then a 5 hour drive the following day home to Mount Gambier... All up if would be almost 3 days of travelling!
About an hour or two later, I woke up and felt SOOOOOOOOOO sick, like never before... Like VIOLENTLY ILL... and in a moment of deja vu from our last trip, I was doing a 'Ben' and come down with a SEVERE case of food poisoning... Now we all know I have been sick on previous trips.... but
this was like nothing I have ever experienced... If you are eating stop reading now... lol I was seriously on the toilet and it was coming out both ends the same time... one into the toilet and the other into the wastepaper basket! Wow! It was Ben all over again from the last trip only me experiencing it... and the worst part was the smell... it smelt EXACTLY like Ben's the year before... hahahahaha
Unfortunately Ben wasn't as good at playing nurse maid and he lay in bed watching! After a couple of hours of me running from the bed to the toilet and back again.. I eventually decided that a) I was in a whole lot of trouble b) that I was dying and c) there was NO way I could travel in 9 hours time.. I got dressed and made the decision to get to the Hospital... we got out the front of the hotel and I could not believe my eyes... there was NOT a soul around and we were on a main road.. No people, no tuktuks hassling you for a ride, no taxis! That could seriously only happen to me! I felt
like I had just entered a deserted town.. where was everyone??
I sent Ben down Rat-U-Thit Rd to find a taxi... but nothing.. Eventually a moto taxi pulled over and we asked him to find us a taxi STAT! I was holding a plastic bag and needing to vomit/poo again already! He eventually got a friend with a taxi for me and off we set for the Phuket Hospital! It was about 20 minutes away and I swear it was the longest ride of my life... I can't remember the name of the road or the hill, but there is a really big windy road that you go up and then you have to go down the other side of it... halfway up I said to the taxi driver "how much longer??" do which he replied "10 minute". I then said "I am so sorry" and started violently vomiting into the plastic bag... Ben sat in silence next to me and was probably wishing the ground would open up and swallow him... lol
The worst part about me vomiting was that the taxi driver had a mate along for the ride (and show) who
On My Deathbed!
at least Ben found it amusing to take photos!was sitting directly in front of me... and with me leaning over into a plastic bag in a tiny car I was virtually vomiting in his ear! I give the man credit, he didnt lean forward or flinch once! Hehe! Once I started vomiting, the driver did however decide to go even faster than what he already was and he was doing at least 100-120km an hour... the 10 minute drive was over within 5 minutes thanks to his speedy driving and he promptly dumped us at the emergency department of Phuket International Hospital...
I was placed into a wheelchair and dumped into a bed within seconds and spend the next 3-4 hours hooked up to a drip passed out... The doctor came and saw me and then about 5am I was released.. still feeling as though I was going to die, but assured by the lovely staff that I was just fine and with a bag full of various drugs we set back off to the hotel (our taxi had even waited for us!). When we got back to the hotel, we spent the next hour on the phone to the insurance company back in Australia
who decided that because the Doctor hadn't ticked a box about me being fit/unfit to travel, they wouldnt allow me to change my travel plans.. so I had two options.. go all the way back to the hospital to try get it sorted (with no guarantee) or start the long journey home... Travel Insurance Direct could not have been any more unhelpful if they tried... after having used them for all my trips I was extremely disappointed by the difficulty of trying to sort out help when I most needed it!
By 8am I was stuffing my bags without a real care and we set off for the airport... what followed was an extremely long trip home and I was so glad to see my own bed... By Kuala Lumpur I had definitely perked up quite a bit, but was still extremely weak and exhausted. I toughed it out for the day and slept well on the plane on the way to Sydney.. we lounged about the airport floor in Sydney before a quick flight to Melbourne.. By the time we got to Melbourne we were well over it... We made out way to our hotel and
spent the night with room service and the television wrapped up in bed... I was still struggling and slept well.. The next morning we had a big breakfast, caught a sneaky session at our favourite Melbourne Gym, Dohertys and then did a quick bout of cricket gear shopping before starting the 5 hour trek home... What a way to end a trip and relationship....
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Lynn Tate
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Monkeys
I love the little f***ers....lol