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Published: March 21st 2006
Hello everyone and welcome from Phuket, possibly the worst place on this planet, other than any war torn region of course! This place is the minghole of Thailand, a paradise for drunken Europeans who like a sea-side resort to get pissed in, with a Thai girl on their arm and a bottle of Singha in the other. So I wont elaborate other than to say we wont be staying in this dunp much longer (we only got here 2 hours ago!!).
So what an eventful few days we have had. The final stretch of our beach bumming was to go and visit the supposedly magnificent waterfall in the middle of the island. Me and Chris set out with the idea of hiring bikes, but as there is apparently only 1 bicycle (but a million mopeds) to be hired, our plans were shattered. Feeling energetic we thought we would walk the 5km to the waterfall along the road in the baking baking heat! However, a few hours later we had done the whole tour of the area where this waterfall should be but no- no waterfall existed. As someone once said to me, this tourist trap is there to deceice the tourists"! We did locate the magnificent viewpoint on the top of a hill however, which overlooked the entire east side of the island. And I almost died when I put my head in a spiders web, only to look up and see a spider the size of my hand saying "get out of my house before I come and bite you!" So eventually we left teh small national park and headed to the north of the island on a bit of exploration. We found ourselves getting a boat to a Bottle beach, a secluded beach which has no roads attached to the small village. Here we basked in the sun, as we chilled on the most glorious beach on the island. With a backdrop of mountainous jungle, the beach is a long 200 metre stretch of perfect sand with small beach huts watching close by. Purely sensational. It was finished with lunch which was basically a place of garlic with a bit of spaghetti added to it! We caught the bat away from the beach, only to watch the sunset over the rocks. So this is the meaning of life then? Not a mundane 9-5?!!
The follwing day we left Ko Phan-gnan and headed to a national park on the Thai mainland (Khao Sok National park), where we were to have a hell of a time!!!
We eagerly setout on Monday morning on a trek that was to head into the jungle and visit all the beautiful waterfalls in the park. As the day sped by we enjoyed a few stops by the waterfalls, messing about on the rocks. Being English, however, we failed to take a lunch, so our weariness prevented any further walking post one such waterfall. Here you could swim in the waterfall pools, and if your a nutter (like me) go down some small rapids, which as Austin Powers would say "that really hurt!". The time meant we had to depart soon, but this was made certain when the heavens opened. This wasnt fine rain that soaked you through. Oh no. This was great big snowballs of rain that completely drenched you. They dont call it a rain forest for nothing!! We strode purposefully back but on our retreat I noticed something tickling my leg. Crikey would could that be! Yes you guessed! It was infact a few small worms on my inner thigh halfway inside my leg. These blood lucking leeches wanted my blood? My alocholic blood? I tried to pull them out but they were half inside my leg, and the more you would pull the more they wriggled. I knew that if they did get inside me they would love my blood cus Ive got a lot of alcohol in it and they would have a party! Luckily however I managed to pull them out- even then they still tried to suck on to my fingers with tremendous suction! Immediately I checked my important parts (I did not want a repeat of Stand by Me where one of the characters had a leech in a certain unconfortable spot) but luckily none had managed to get that high. Chris and Will were bitten the worst, with proper big beasts getting hold of their legs, and Mike was extremely fortunate to grad one little blighter just before he was to head perilosuly close to his bits!! We all felt scummy and have small marks on our skin to prove our encounter with these blood sucking devils! We headed back, constantly checking our bodies for any unwanted creature, until we got home only to find Chris's camera was dripping. Oh what a day!
We lef the park this morning and headed here to Phuket, the minghole! I would like to say something nice of this small region, and Im sure that there are nice places along the coast. I just think we came to the wrong place, as its trash!!
Hope everyone is good back home and enjoying the fresh english spring? Have the clocks gone back yet? Im out of touch!!
Jonny x
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Steve
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Your descriptions of Phuket sound like of Patong? I couldnt agree more about that place, however, there are still lots of quiet and more beautiful places. The south of Kata Beach is much nicer if your planning to stay and nothing like Patong. If your stuck around patong then head south just a few minutes to.. . I think angel beach... its right next to Patong but always empty, has a nice little bar for a beer. Good luck for the rest of you trip!