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Published: November 30th 2007
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Ahhhh. Phuket. Turquoise Sea, White Sandy Beaches, Perfect weather and 9 kazillion people pushing you out the way to get there....What a freakin' GONG show......But alas, first, an update on where we've been....Shannon and I spent 6 nights in Ko Lanta, a beautiful Island South of Krabi, it was a very calm and peaceful stay, we met great people, both travellers and staff at the resort. We found a place we loved and never moved for 6 days....we never blogged because we had nothing interesting to say...for the first 5 days our lives consisted of waking up late, eating an early lunch/breakfast...escaping the heat of the day by reading or something...and then by 4 heading out to play in the ocean....One day I even played beach soccer...it was 5 foreigners (farang as the thais call them) against 5 Thai guys...we all had our shirts off, playing back and forth, diving, shooting, sweating, scoring....we played until the sun set (or two Thai guys' moms called them in for dinner, "Pablomercendes!!!! You're prawns are ready!!")...then instead of showering after the game we all just jumped in the ocean together....it was all very authentic...or homo-erotic.....it just depends on how you look at it....
Shannon also had an authentic experience...On Nov 24th, the Thai celebrated Loy Katong Full Moon Celebration (or something like that), Shannon worked for about 5 hours with Fi (our female Bartender at the resort) to make these floats made of Banana tree and banana leaves. They made about 20 little boats together. Then at midnight, you fill the little boats with Orchids, Incense, Candles and some coins....then you put in the ocean and it floats off into the sea, taking your prayers with it...or in our case, the wind blows out the candles and the tide keep washing the boat back to shore...but anyways....the thought is nice in theory! Then they set off fireworks and we all returned to our drinking...it was very romantic actually....As well we did go on another great snorkelling trip...the highlight not being the diverse species of fish (which was VERY diverse by the way) but the highlight being the suprise appearance of a 3 foot giant lizard near our picnic table at lunch!! It was a "Monitor Lizard" (Shannon looked it up) and is a small relative of the famous Komodo Dragon. I actually took these photos, I was kinda scared but people kept saying
it was ok cause it was small, I actually saw it as HUGE but that's just me....
You may be wondering why Shannon is not posting here...Well, Shannon is currently in Chaiya and preparing to take a 10 day Buddist Meditation Retreat in a monastery. Other than waking up at 4:30am and having your last meal of the day at noon, the other thing of interest is that during the entire 10 days there is no speaking. None. You cannot talk. For ten days. (Insert joke here) Actually I emailed my family yesterday about this news and I have 3 entrants so far for best Buddist monastery Joke. Here are the entrants (and if you have your own please feel free to enter one in the "Comments" sections below, I will announce a prize later):
Joke Entrants:
My Sister (Jodi) "No talking for ten days? Imagine how much she'll have to say when she gets out."
My Brother (Adam) "Women can't stop talking for 10 minutes let alone 10 days."
My Dad (Gary) Top 10 Things Overheard in a Buddist Monastery"
10.
9.
8.
7.
6.
5.
4.
3.
2.
1.
Also an honorable mention to my Mom,
who had a big discussion the other day with my 92 year old ailing Granpa about the Tsunami.....and the fact that I was now in Phuket. When my mom was leaving the extended care facility (it's not an old folks home), my Granpa told my mom, "Tell him to get out of there." Thanks Granpa!!
Anyways, this blog is like Pulp Fiction, rambling and not in chronological order. So, I declined on accompanying Shannon on the Buddist retreat, instead I took a boat to Phuket and am now in the city of Patong, which is the biggest Gong Show in the world. I told my family that Patong is like a Third World Vegas. I seriously have no idea what I am going to do here for the next 11 days on my own but a good start would be to invite Volley (seriously, Volley, if you fly out tonight, with the time change you can actually be here yesterday, and yesterday was pretty fun - www.thaiairways.com)....
My brothers' girlfriend Angie emailed me yesterday and I think she put it best, saying that Patong is full of sunburnt western men engaged in questionable relationships with young thai women.
I agree. I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing that I was feeling slightly flattered last night when I observed that only the most beautiful of prostitutes would proposition me. My bubble was soon burst when only a few minutes later, I spotted one of those beautiful prostitutes holding hands with someone who I can only describe as....Santa Claus in a Speedo.
In honor of Angie, considering I have nothing but time on my hands and clearly need to stay out of trouble, I am going to start working on my next blog immediately, a photo essay titled, "Patong, Land of Questionable Relationships." I'm sure you're all very excited.
thanks for bearing with me. Seriously, some of the best parts of Shannon and I's days are when we check the blog and see all your comments and messages, it is a lot of fun so keep them coming! Also I look forward to your entrants for the best Buddist Monastery Joke! (is that wrong?)
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jodi Ostafichuk
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If I would have known there was a prize for best "vow of silence" joke ...I would have tried harder..... But really....that is pretty funny.... Imagine how much she'll talk when she gets out. HAHAHAHAHH Because you know....Shannon (like all women) likes to talk a lot anyway....and then she'll be.....never mind.... My vote is for Dad's....but there are only 3 entrants so far..... give me a day...and I'll come up with a good one.... BTW...did you hear that the lead singer of Quiet Riot died. Hey....maybe I can use that....a reference to QUIET riot.... quiet...hmmmmm. Green Bay lost against Dallas last night. Damn... I love Green Bay.