Hua Hin, Chumpon and Ko Tao: From the Stars to the Gutter and Back Again

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For me, the defining ‘wow we REALLY don’t belong here!’ moment was when ‘Coy’ (a kindly member of the hotel staff keen on saving us the embarrassment of trying to pronounce her real, consonant concentrated Thai name) showed us to our two pairs of flip-flops each. One pair for wearing inside our room and the second for wearing to the hotel’s private beach. Next to the flip-flops was a ready prepared beach bag complete with towels. The tour of our room (which must have taken about 10 minutes) progressed to the massive TV (with accompanying TV guide), shower room with a shower head that pretty much took up the entire ceiling (not really, but it was big), balcony area with our own mini bar, crockery and cutlery, day bed and fan, onto the two sets of Thai gowns, pyjamas and so on. We’d arrived in the luxurious Yai Ya Resort (part owned by our new friends Pao and Nui) and our home for the next two nights.

Tour over, we found our most presentable clothes (we’d decided against bringing along our ‘5 star hotel’ outfit at the last minute) and, donning the second pair of flip-flops, went to meet Pao and Nui for lunch. The food was great. The restaurant is called Thai-Pas (like tapas but Thai) and was one of those places where you just wanted to order every dish on the menu. We can’t have been far off actually - more and more plates just kept arriving! And Dave and I not wanting to offend our hosts just kept on eating.

In the afternoon we relaxed. In the room, on the balcony, by the bar. There were many options. Tough life. The following day we also relaxed. This time we braved the pool (it took me ages to coax Dave in. I had to lie and tell him that the deeper he ventured the warmer it got - who’d have thought anyone would believe that?!). We ate lunch again in the restaurant. It wasn’t so successful this time. Dave ordered a pizza but asked for ‘no onions’ and I ordered the vegetable lasagne. Dave’s pizza arrived with nothing but onions and my lasagne didn’t actually contain any pasta. But onto the best part of the day - a spa package Birthday present from my Mum and Dad. It cost loads but it was 3 and a half hours of bliss. We went to the local town of Hua Hin in the evening, mosied about the night market and I treated myself to a pair of earrings and flip-flops (apparently not content with the 2 pairs provided by the hotel). We met our taxi driver for the drive back to the hotel (easier said than done as we didn’t have a watch and got the agreed location wrong).

Dave then decided to snap the mosquito net. We were leaving the next morning - he only had to refrain from breaking something for 12 hours more and we would have enjoyed our stay in this stunning resort without detriment to those that had so kindly put us up (for free I might add). Thinking about it though I’d already broken the room key by this point so should probably dismount my high horse right about now… It was time for me to repay the ferry favour and put my sowing skills to the test - needle and thread to the rescue. Mosquito net successfully sewn back together (secondary school textile lessons don’t seem so worthless now! Though my teacher would no doubt disagree if she saw my handiwork) we got some sleep ready for our journey south the next day.

The morning of our departure day was a bit stressful. We’d planned on doing a snorkelling trip but there were big storms in the area so we had to change our route. Usually this doesn’t cause any bother at all - we would just get on a different bus - but this time many people were involved. Nevertheless after a fair few phone calls and trying to find different people in the hotel we got it sussed. Begrudgingly we checked out of Yai Ya (www.yaiyaresort.com) but look forward to going back when we can pay our own way (it’s worth it just for the two pairs of flip-flops and the most gorgeous smelling soap ever!).

Next was a bus journey. It took quite a long time - about 5 hours if I remember correctly. It didn’t end well. We were heading to a wee little place called ‘Chumpon’. The bus stopped at a station that had the word ‘Chumpon’ in its name so Dave asked the driver - ‘Chumpon?’ while pointing downwards to show ‘here?’ The driver replied ’10 minutes!’. Kinda makes sense we thought. The bus obviously stops here to let everyone pick up some food and nip to the loo being before making the drop-off actually in the town of Chumpon, instead of the outskirts. So we picked up some food and nipped to the loo and sat back on the bus for our 10-minute journey. After around 15 minutes of travelling in the opposite direction of Chumpon our suspicions were aroused. After around 20 minutes Dave recounted how he’d asked the driver ‘Chumpon?’ and the driver had said ’10 minutes’. After around 22 minutes Dave realised that ‘Chumpon?’ sounds a little similar to ‘How long?’. After around 25 minutes we realised that we’d spent 10 minutes at the bus station… So we got off the bus in the middle of nowhere, the driver laughing that we’d missed our stop ‘it was 25 minutes back!!’. Ha ha. Yes, we know that now…

The road was empty so we ambled along, stopping to take a photo of a big spider, thinking we’d walk until we got to a guesthouse or shop and call a taxi. The first vehicle to pass us was a motorbike and, to our surprise, it pulled up along side us. The lady on the bike looked concerned and asked what we were doing (fair question - we were marching along a dual carriageway with our rucksacks strapped to us at least 15km from the nearest town) we explained ‘bus… Chumpon… missed the stop…’ Almost launched into the hilarious ‘Chumpon’/’How long’ story but thought it might be lost in translation. Then two more vehicles passed - and, here’s the weird thing - both of them pulled up along side us. The first lady on the bike spoke to the driver of the nearest one and motioned for us to get in. We heaped thanks onto both the lady and our saviours-in-a-silver-pick-up-truck and headed to Chumpon. The couple even asked whether we’d want to journey with them until Chiang Mai (in the north - 12 hours drive). We explained that we wanted to stay in Chumpon and they took us a hotel and offered to check the price to see whether it was suitable for us and if not, take us to a different one. Only in Thailand!!! The first hotel was fine (even if it was on fire we wouldn’t have had the audacity to ask the couple to take us to a different hotel) So we said our goodbyes, still bemused and blown away by their kindness and plodded into the hotel. And that is our first experience of (assisted) hitch-hiking!

(Dave) Just to clarify - on our walk since getting off the bus the first 3 people who had driven past us had all stopped to help and offer assistance, even though one of them couldn’t help as she was on a motorbike! If only people were this nice everywhere else!

The hotel turned out to be a bit of a dump. The town turned out to be even more of a dump. I’m trying to think of just one positive thing to say about it (don’t want to come across all ‘glass half empty’) but I’ve got nothing. We have no photos because we don’t want to remember it. Dinner was cheap. But then it was crap…

Our transport out of Chumpon was via a tuk tuk, then a coach and then a catamaran to Ko Tao - our very first Thai island. We’d hmm-ed and ahh-ed over whether to catch a ferry or catamaran to the island but decided on a catamaran because I thought it would be like in the music videos - you know the ones with the impossibly clear blue water in bright sunshine with the beautiful people guzzling champagne…?

The first clue that my dream of featuring in a music video would remain a dream was the new arrivals that came straight off the boat. They looked miserable and sick. But I figured there were probably a bit hungover. One girl came off soaking wet - ‘what, did she swim here?’ me and Dave laughed. She’d never know it, but the girl would soon get her revenge. Then there were the people taking motion sickness tablets… then there was the boat rocking so much when we got on that you needed both hands to grip the rail... Unfazed (i.e. we hadn’t really added two and two together) we rushed up onto the top deck with the other eager sun-seekers preparing ourselves for 90 minutes of calm waters. The first 3-5 minutes were fine but then the waves started crashing over the top of deck and people were actually being thrown off their seats. There was a VIP area (not as ‘VIP’ as you’d might hope - for one hundred pennies we had the same seats as those downstairs but with the pleasure of watching ‘Big Momma’s House’. Goodie) only a few steps away and so everyone just about managed to clamber inside, laughing at how violently the boat was rocking. The laughter was soon replaced by vomiting as maybe half of the passengers around us gave in to the lurching, Not wanting to be left out, Dave was later to reveal his love for me by dutifully clutching 5 of my used sick bags. Honestly, it was hell.

It then took us ages to find accommodation on Ko Tao (partially because it was my Birthday the next day so we wanted somewhere decent and partially because the ground wouldn’t stop moving from beneath my feet). We’d just about reached our tether and were ready to accept a snake pit for a room when we came across a newly built place right next to the beach. Perfect.

Thank you everyone for the Birthday messages and e-mails. I had a really lovely day of - you’ll never guess - taking it easy! We had honey pancakes, walked on the beach, went to a second hand bookshop, ate a gorgeous lunch, read our books, had a milkshake in a little bakery, ate a gorgeous dinner. Then went back to the room and watched a film called ‘Tomcats’ which was rubbish. But quite funny. In a rubbish way. You know what I mean! Dave had even bought me a card. An impressive feat considering that we spend every waking hour together. Oh and he also bought me clothes! How could I forget the shopping part of the day?? I got a Birthday bikini, Birthday top and Birthday skirt. Left the shop in a complete new outfit.

We spent 4 nights in Ko Tao. Mostly lazing about but on one day we did a snorkelling tour. The diving on the island is world-renowned and it tends to be the case that where there is good diving, there’s good snorkelling. Unfortunately for us the seas were still choppy from the storm so the visibility was poor and being in the water was akin to being in a washing machine. It was worth it though because Dave and I can now say we’ve snorkelled with sharks! On the first stop we saw black-tipped reef sharks. Only junior ones but still big enough to make your heart pump that little bit faster… We spent most of the afternoon on a paradise island not far from Ko Tao. It was stunning. We don’t have any photos though, so you’ll have to take my word for it!

We left for our next island - Koh Phangan on a ferry. My catamaran dream on hold. For the time being.

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