Feeling the wrath of the Stephinator, and a fun night out

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I 'woke up' in the morning on Boxing Day with a pounding headache and feeling like I'd left a large portion of my brain on the floor of Reggae House. Probably along with my dignity. Always losing that. Anyway, Nick kindly got up at the last possible moment (I could have got up earlier, but come on, I got home at 4am and was pretty much unconscious until he woke me), and kindly took a long-ass time in the bathroom. Understandable, I suppose, since he had spent some time a couple of days earlier complaining to me about the consistency of his hair wax in the 35 degree heat. Seems he was having trouble getting his hair to look stylishly dishevelled enough. My heart bleeds (and I think I'm reaching new levels of sarcasm here). When I finally managed to get in there, it was already quarter past seven, and our mini van was due to leave for the pier at half past. As I jumped in the shower I heard him shout 'I'm going to go to breakfast now.' Stupidly, I assumed that he might order me something too when he got there since I wasn't going to have much time. I rushed as much as I could, and got to the restaurant at 7:25. I sat there for five minutes and watched Nick wolf down his bacon and eggs, and then the van arrived. If looks could kill, he would have been dead before he had his first mouthful.

In the van he talked at me while I tried my best not to snap at him, so I said very little. Compounded by the fact that I could barely string a sentence together that didn't contain grunts and moans of complete and utter self-pity. We got on the boat, dumped our packs in a huge pile, and went downstairs to sit. I was corralled into the back corner of the boat next to an open window, and immediately fell asleep with my head lolling to one side. Nick sat down right next to me, despite the fact there were 50 other free seats. I know, I sound like a bitch, but you must remember that my patience with the guy had worn so totally thin, and I WAS hungover. Anyway, within about ten minutes we were jetting off in the boat across the water. When we picked up speed, I was awoken rather rudely by a large splash of water in the face and an offensive cold wind which whipped through my t-shirt like one from the Arctic. I was too tired, hungover, and indignant to get up, and even if I'd wanted to, Nick was fast asleep beside me and I couldn't really move. I arrived at Krabi Pier in much the same mood as I'd been in from the moment I woke up, only wetter.

We got there and headed over to the travel agent's office, only to be told that our bus down to the ferry wasn't arriving for another two hours. I was ravenous, so I ordered food and sat there with my nose in my book, ignoring Nick. My attention was soon caught by a large muddy puddle outside in the mangrove trees, where I could see these incredibly strange half-fish, half amphibian creatures doing battle. It was one of the weirdest things I've ever seen. They were pretty small, but I could see that they had legs at the front, almost like tadpoles, spikes on their backs, almost like dinosaurs, and long tails at the back, not unlike an eel. And they were angrier than I was at that point, fighting and scrapping and slithering down holes. In my rather braindead state I sat and stared at them for about an hour, noting also these really weird one-clawed crabs. Found myself wondering if there was some sort of nuclear testing programme here the world has no idea about. Haha. Eventually, our bus number was called and we all climbed on, Nick sat beside me again and dropped hints about accommodation on Samui (once again, I'd booked ahead and he hadn't), while I stone-facedly ignored him and listened to my iPod, wishing I hadn't devoured all my books with such fervour as I had. We got on the ferry, I found myself a seat, and Nick finally seemed to get the hint and sat a row in front of me. We didn't speak for the entire trip, and I amused myself by writing in my journal and watching the approaching sunset in the sky. I was finally starting to feel a little more human. When the boat finally pulled up at the pier on Samui, Nick asked me for my email address 'for when he arrives in NZ'. I gave him a fake one, managed to summon up a smile to accompany my well-wishes, and went on my merry way. I found a sawng-thaew (I think that's how you spell it) to take me to my hotel, and jumped in. We waited for about 20 minutes while they crammed it full of more people (there were even guys hanging off the back), and when we pulled out of the carpark the bottom of the car scraped along the curb. Mmm, safety.

After a long and cramped ride during which a woman balanced the corner of her chicken-cage against my knee, I got dropped off and wandered down to my resort. I saw two people who had been on the same bus as me and undoubtedly on the same ferry checking in, and started talking to the girl, who was about my age and really nice. After we'd all checked in she invited me to go to dinner with her and the guy, who I thought was her boyfriend (but was later corrected when I mentioned it), and another of their friends. So I went and settled in and then met up with them. Their names were Hayley, Adam, and I think Francis was the third guy, a rather nice but incredibly vain Brazilian dude. We had dinner, and waited forever to be served, whilst every Thai person in the place got served before us. Sat chatting and talking about our experiences and stuff, and they expressed utter disbelief at the behaviour of the posh twat, it was good to get some of that anger off my chest, let me tell ya! After that we wandered down the street, and the boys decided they wanted McDonalds, since the dinner we'd had wasn't that substantial. Hayley and I sat outside and chatted, and were soon joined by two little girls who decided they wanted to 'plait' our hair but just ended up making two enormous birds' nests out of it. They were pretty cute though, and we took pictures and gave them a little bit of money (they were selling roses). When the boys were finally finished, we went and jumped in a cab and headed down to Chaweng Beach, which is where the red light district is, and most of the clubs.

It was absolutely mental there, and I guess we got a little carried away (finally!) because we decided to go up the street trying all the bars - and have a bucket and a shot of something in each place. So by the time we reached the end of the street (skipping the titty bars of course) we were absolutely and totally mangled. We ended up in a club called the Green Mango (quite famous apparently) and met a couple of Kiwis and Aussies - can't remember much of the conversation we had, and I think it was at about this point that Adam and I both said we'd had enough and we were leaving. Hayley and Francis eventually decided that was the best plan of attack for them too, and we all piled into a cab.

I woke up in the morning with about 20 minutes to spare on the free breakfast I had been promised at reception, so I got dressed quickly and headed down there to the restaurant. I sat there for ten minutes without even being given a menu, so I huffily got up and grabbed myself one, looking pointedly at the waitress. She smiled at me and nodded. So I looked through the menu, chose something, and waited. And waited. And waited. Eventually, after gesturing to the waitress about three seperate times and being ignored each one, I stood up and stormed out. Well, my 'storming out' was rather hindered by a very slow old man who was walking in front of me at the time, but I think I managed to convey my frustration. I checked out and went across the street to eat, but they served only 'burgers' and I don't know what kind of meat was in the one I had, but it definitely wasn't beef. I gave up after about one bite, grabbed my bag, and hailed a cab to take me to the next place I was staying Cactus Bungalow, on Bohphut Beach.

To be continued...

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