Koh Phi Phi

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I was mistaken - grossly it seems.

I thought I had arrive in paradise when I reached Phi Phi - surrounded by more jagged karsts, fine white sand, colourful boats lined the bay - paradise no? No.

I had met Ollie, a German guy on the boat over and we ended up bonding over a love of animals and laughing over language difficulties. He had a girlfriend and I had my instincts so we ended up sharing a room for the night. Only 200 Baht each and we went to bed with the sound of vomiting next door thrown in for free - oh yeah. We both had similar desires - to find our own slice of paradise and both of us, it turns out didn't want to find it at the bottom of a 'bucket' (literally a bucket filled with all sorts of alcohol to get you quickly and well and truly intoxicated). So we set up camp a little walk away from the touristy streets, clothes, jewellery, boat rides, massages - it was all for sale. For a very small island it was very touristy and it wasn't even the high season yet. Like a few of these Thai islands - once untouched, now tourism, the double edged sword it is, had claimed Phi Phi to a Western 18 year old something looking for dodgy music, neon lights, sickly booze and even worse drunken mistakes. I, on my thrown of moral high ground, on the other hand, would not be partaking - thanks very much!

After a morning sunbathing, whereupon I met another female solo traveller, Tara. Ollie, Tara and I got chatting to two 18 year old Israeli guys who informed us that this place was 'heaven by day hell by night'. So why had they stayed so long then? Maybe because he was 10 years younger than me, maybe because he liked the idea of buckets, sex and sunbathing or maybe it was because he was on his holidays and on his return home would be doing his compulsory time in the army. Compared to that option Phi Phi was paradise. Its all relative I suppose. So I stopped judging so much and saw that through his weed fuelled senses you could blot out the rubbish lined beaches, Western girls trying to sell free shots to anyone willing to limbo naked and moody Thai locals. Wouldn't you be if this turned into your home? Sit back, soak in the view, puff on your spliff and blur out the rest. I get it. But what he doesn't get is that there is a pretty damn good alternative on the next island not far away on Koh Lanta. Ollie and I only stayed 1 night on Koh Phi Phi - he went on to explore further east of the island and I went to Koh Lanta.

In a nutshell my experience of Phi Phi was this:

Sun burn, crowded smelly back streets, hoards on boats, overprived bad food, rubbish everywhere, engish girls giving out flyers, boxing bar, monkey for pictures, drunken party on beach, listening to puking etc... and that took less than 24hrs!

I realise I am being quite negative but that is the strong reaction I had so that is what I will hopefully convey. One person's utopia is another's dystopia...

Anyway, I'm glad I went to the 'Reggae Bar' where tourists (fa rang) can fight each other to earn a free bucket. The Thai kids started off the evenings entertainment and were pretty good actually. There were a few drunk people who thought they were invincible and just got seriously pummelled (there enters the entertainment - I know I'm evil). I know that I shouldnt get involved in other peoples business or start conversations that lead nowhere but...BUT I drew the line at blatant animal exploitation and bimbos...

I ignored the Thai guy with the Gibbon getting tourists to have their picture taken with the poor creature; honestly I did - but I had to tell a girl enjoying having her photo taken with him that if it wasn't for people holding it then it would have more chance of a different life. They didn't like this and challenged me about my polite interception. "I get what your saying..." "but you just don't care..." I interjected. I didn't want to cause a scene in what felt like a futile situation so I kept stmmm when she said "I guess its just a different way of looking at it!"

Ignorance is bliss? Not in this case Orwell. I walked away, quietly fuming.

What I felt like doing was shouting "Mine's the right way you twit!" then grabbing her by her over sized eyelashes, giving her a Miss Trunchable - esque swing and wiping that stupid smile off her face. Now this was worthy of the farang boxing ring, I could easily have taken her down celebrity death match stylee while the gibbon simultaneously ripped off his silly T shirt, wiped his arse with it and threw it in her face - all the while cheering me on. NO No. That would not be constructive. Instead I accepted the sad fate of the gibbon and Phi Phi and got the first ferry out of there the next morning. I was not going to contribute any further to it. That evening Ollie and I walked back along the beach watching the chaos unfold...the empty undignified trashiness of it all - excuse the pun. We hoped the locals got their kicks by watching as the farang tripped over their moored boats. None of this was sutainable - it was clear to me that what we should be doing is helping them rebuild the communities lost on the west coast lost by the bloody Tsunami but instead we are stalling progress. I know it is easy to judge and by travelling I am leaving my own footprint but I left Phi Phi with a renewed sense of what I wanted out of this trip. I wanted to reverse my feelings by doing something positive, somewhere, somehow. That may sound naieve and idealistic but at least I don't falsly worship a paradise by day and treat it with nothing but disrespect by night. Paradise lost methinks.

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