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Published: December 3rd 2012
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After a short flight over the water from Penang we were welcomed into Patong Beach with massive flooding. During our packing back in Ireland did we never thought of bringing wellies. Even the guy at the hotel desk mentioned that its weird for it to be still raining in Phuket as the rainy season should be over by now.
We took it easy the first night as I was still struggling from a dodgy stomach that I got from Penang. But the second night I honestly don't know where to start. It started out normally with a few drinks, a nice Thai meal (very cheap and only cost €7 in total) and some more drinks. Than we stumbled upon what I can only call the mad street (Bangala Rd). As we walked through we were offered to see the ping pong show. I had to educate Jane as she hadn't a clue what this show was about (she was in hysterics when she found out). Than we got our pictures taken with lemurs. After this we went to another line of bars where there was (ladies?) dancing outside. In fact these so called ladies were pretty much all over the place.
We met a guy called Moro (thats correct I said Moro like the chocolate bar) from Canada who has been living in Patong for a while. He spent the night basically trying to convince us that its ok and normal to have relations with a ladyboy. This guy new the place so well they were all saluting him and blowing kisses as they passed. I even managed to get my pic taken with one of these questionable ladies. Unfortunately it's a little explicit so I can't post on here or Facebook but if your interested in seeing me with a ladyboy PM me on Facebook and ill email over. Some of these ladies you knew straight away were born with a wiener but others looked like normal Asian women.
We hit the beach for the next few days. As you'll see from the pics this place is class and at the moment it's right at peak season. Farmers tan is now a fainted memory at this point, we are now onto the tomato stage. We managed to see the Loi Kratong beach festival which happens every year where the whole town heads down to the beach and either sends lighting
balloons into the air or drift out little flower boats into the sea. It supposed to rid your life of all bad luck and negative energy. Don't believe in that kind of thing myself but it was good to see the crowds of people down there.
Every second shop here is a so called massage parlour with a crowd of woman outside each one trying to grab men walking past. I'm sure you could get a neck or back massage if you wanted but I'm sure that's not the first thing they offer.
Headed over to Phi Phi island (island that 'The Beach' was filmed on) for a few days. The beaches here are supposed to be the most beautiful in the world. I can only compare up against Ballybunion and Kilkee and they definitely beat those. Although its starting to get built up its still a pretty cool island. It's like a massive village of small walk ways. There is no roads and taxi's travel by boat. We done the dog on it the first night and got pissed at a fire show on the beach. We were both pretty fecked and ended up guiding each other home. A
lot of steps up to the hotel. Drunk Jane and steps don't mix.
Hit the beach the next day and took a kayak over to monkey beach. Crap loads of monkeys here that strut around the beach looking for food and drink. One of them managed to rob my ice tea. On the way back to our local beach in the kayak Jane said " I thought I saw something in the water". At that very moment we both looked around to our left and saw a sharp fin appear above the water. We nearly shat ourselves until the fin turned out to be a dolphin and not a shark. He kept following us for a while jumping out of the water showing off in front if us.
The following day we took a boat taxi over to Maya Bay. This is the actual beach from the film 'The Beach'. This place is unreal for its beauty. Jane managed to convince me to go snorkelling (I'm a pussy when it comes to the water) so we got to swim with the fish for a while.
On the way back to Phuket now for a quick stopover before we jump back
on the plane over to Koh Samui.
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Simon McGuire
Moro is never confused
Hey guys... the tears are still flowing from my eyes at the tought of a monkey stealing your iced tea. Very funny. It sounds like Moro is 'never confused' when it comes tot he ladies... lol had to laugh at him trying to convince you that its ok to be with one... like 'Jim's Dad in American Pie' "a perfectly natural norman thing"!