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Published: January 16th 2006
Massage parlour
...Koh Phangan style. Lilo under one arm and snorkel poised, Linda resplendent in her new bikini, we hit the beaches of Koh Samui. Well, we would have done, had the weather not conspired against us by dumping a mini-monsoon of rain during our first two days on the island.
We enjoyed a jungle canopy tour, which involves sliding down cables connected between trees in the island interior- a bit like the end of the Krypton Factor assault course, without the maroon tracksuits and pithy commentary from Gordon Burns. But aside from these thrills, we decided that Koh Samui didn't have the right beach for us, so we heeded the advice of some of our fellow travellers and sailed to Koh Phangan, a smaller island a little further north.
We arrived in the port of Hat Rin- famous for its full-moon party- but skipped its Benidorm-style delights and took a taxi ride to Thong Nai Pan on the north-east coast. I say taxi ride- I actually mean we got dumped into the back of a pick-up truck and driven down a jungle track with hair-raising descents and potholes aplenty. When we got to the beach, we immediately knew we'd found what we were
The Life Aquatic
Steve emerges glistening from the limpid waters of the Andaman sea, as local fish breathe a sigh of relief looking for. The water was clear and vividly blue, the sand soft, the shade from the palm trees plentiful, and the beach as a whole not crowded- the shoddy road network prevents the coach parties from getting here.
Our two-day stay extended into five, we swung in hammocks, bothered innumerable tiny fish with the snorkel (and later feasted on their plumper cousins at the beach barbeques). When it all got too much, we could opt for a Thai massage on the beach. The masseur's technique consists of twisting various parts of your body, ideally until something clicks loudly, while placing a foot in your groin and sitting on your head. The effect is surprisingly relaxing, and a world away from the turkey giblet experience of the Ayurvedics in India.
Our final night on the island was the night of the full moon, and so we returned to Hat Rin to join 10,000 other revellers on the beach. This is rave central, with glow sticks aplenty and all sorts of shapes being thrown. Steve wowed the crowd with his retro '80s dance moves- easy there, Grandpa. At various points along the beach, pyrotechnic fun was being had- fire juggling,
In the treetops
If you squint your eyes, we sort of look sporty fire walking, fire eating and so on. A couple of six year olds had got hold of some fire sticks and were chucking them around with enthusiasm- and poor aiming skills. Nobody seemed too bothered. Eventually, the temptation to return to bed with a cup of Ovaltine became too strong, and we caught a longtail boat in the moonlight- which sounds romantic except that, sitting up front, you get covered in spray. By the time we reached our bungalow we were so wet we may as well have swum there.
We're now back in Bangkok, en route to Chiang Mai in the north of Thailand.
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