A Piece of Pai

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Pai is a small town nestled inbetween undulating hills of jungle and teakwood forest terrain. It is North-West of Chiang Mai and can be reached by a four hour bus journey. Sanna and I had planned to get the 10.30 am bus, but it was full by the time we arrived ay the station so we waited for the 12.30 bus. We knew it was a Public Bus, but then realised it was a very small public bus, crammed full of people and backpacks, shopping and boxes of food. This was the reason the ticket was only 80 baht. We squeezed into two seats, my legs just fit and Sanna, who is almost 6 foot tall, took the aisle seat attempting to wind her legs around the Thai people piling into the aisle. The journey took us up winding roads into the hills and thankfully the beautiful landscape of rolling, lush green mountains provided enough distraction from the crammed bus journey that involved stopping for even more Thais along the way and people's bags dropping out of the back door. I half-expected someone to get on with a cow at some point. Four hours later we arrived in Pai. It is a small town nestled comfortably inbetween breathtaking hills consisting of Teakwood Forests, Jungle and rice and garlic paddy fields. The main streets have the usual food stalls and stalls selling clothes and jewellery - particularly those made by the Northern Hill Tribes - but no-one is shouting at you to 'buy buy buy' and prices are fixed to a lower rate. It's a world away from the intoxicating streets of Bangkok. As we walked down the streets to find our desired Bungalows we couldn't help but squeal 'awww' every few moments: a Baby Pink VW Van sells coffee and cakes, proper bakeries line the streets, as do kitsch little bars and cafes and the Bungalows are by the river, in which Thai children swim and wash themselves playfully in the afternoon sun. Our preferred bungalows (on the Bible recommendation) are full, so we head to a guesthouse on the main road instead. For 200 baht each we get a cute little concrete Bungalow complete with tv and patio: squeals of 'awww wow' resonate from the room. We booked ourselves onto a two day trek (one day trekking through the jungle and one day white water rafting back) for the next day. A good night's sleep was somewhat ruined by a Thai lad who talked loudly on his mobile for hours outside his room next door to ours. How he did this, unaided by a coat, is a mystery to me; in Pai the temperature plummets to about 10 degrees or even single figures at night. Hats, gloves and coats are a necessity. Having to buy gloves in Thailand is one thing I never thought I'd be doing.

For the first day trekking there were 6 of us: Sanna and I, and 3 British girls my age and a a British guy they'd picked up along the way. Our guide Jakka took us through his village: a simple collection of bamboo huts, dogs, chickens and a sow and her piglets. We then ascended the trail: the first half an hour was actually really quite trecherous, and as usual the Thai health and safety regulations were in full force i.e. one little slip and you're at the bottom of a steep drop in the hope that maybe a helicopter can take your paralysed body to the nearest hospital. Therefore eyes were set on the path ahead and not on the breathtaking scenery. Vicky one of the girls started being sick within an hour, but soldiered on for the rest of the trek. We went to a Waterfall, although Sanna & I had no bikini on so didn't go in, but the river required to cross to get to the waterfall was freezing so I wasn't too unhappy. Jakka told us 40 other people would be at the camp, they were doing two days of rafting. Jakka then told us all 40 of them were Thai people. We were to be imposters at a Thai holiday trip.

Six-Seven hours later we reached the camp, which was a collection of hut stations. We would be sleeping in a semi-sheltered hut. Vicky was now really ill and went straight to bed whilst the rest of us has a feast of different Thai dishes and fish fresh from the river. Then the party started: the Thai people gathered around the fires with drums, guitars and more Chang Beer than an elephant could drink. They sang Thai songs and one man danced crazily around the fire. We joined in for a while, but then it felt we were imposing on their celebrations so at half nine we all tucked ourselves into bed. We did have a little whiskey to warm ourselves up though. In the night two more of our 'Western' crew got sick and the Thais partied until 2-3am. Sounds of the jungle and the river flowing nearby meant my sleep was light. Still the next day everyone was ok enough to raft apart from Vicky who sat in the middle, so we boarded our raft (of the rubber kind not bamboo) with our guide - who was still drunk from the night before. Little Jakka - the smallest and strongest man ever - was unfortunately not our guide today. All the guides and many of the Thai people were still drunk or horribly hungover, how they managed the whole day rafting is beyond me, but obviously Chang Beer improves physical performance somehow. Our guide would stop for a cigarette breaks on the quieter bits of river and we would sit back and absorb the ever changing landscape of forests, sandy limestone cliffs and humming of jungle noises. The quiescence was interrupted by the screams of the rafts ahead tackling the meek grade 2 rapids. We arrived back at the rafting camp and then had a excruciating journey in the back of a land rover to Pai. The leftover food joined us in the back with a stench so bad not even Mellissa's body spray could extinguish it for even a few minutes. Our driver stopped for a snack, he needed one to go with his huge bottle of Mekong whiskey. When I asked him if he should be drinking whiskey and driving he merely grinned at us, emphasising the broken blood vessels on his nose, and shouted 'cheers'. It was good to see the Thai health and safety standards being upheld so vigorously.

Back in Pai Sanna and I stocked up on vodka for the next night. It was the King's 80th Birthday, but surprisingly enough no alcohol was being sold that day. We bumped into Johan and Stuart from Chiang Mai, back from there Ray Mears style jungle experience. Dinner and sleep were the only things on our minds. We found a cafe called 'Good Life' selling hundreds of herbal teas, healthy food, wheatgrass and spirulina. I obviously almost had a fit in sheer excitement and ordered herbal tea and brown rice and vegetables. We bumped into Melissa and she joined us.

The next day Sanna and I headed to the fellow trekker's amazingly gorgeous bungalow resort next to the Paddy Fields complete with swimming pool. We decided lunch at 'Good Life' was in order, they also served bagels. Unfortunately it was on the way to 'Good Life' I started to feel much less than good and after a few bites of toast I felt nauseous and even ginger tea couldn't rescue me from being violently sick (thankfully it was not a squat toilet affair). We headed back to the room and I was bed bound for the rest of the day and consequently could only hear the fireworks marking the King's Birthday from my bed. The vodka stood neglected in the corner of the room. Sanna was leaving for the South the next day, so I spent another night at Charlie's and then thought I was better the next day so moved somewhere cheaper. I was not better. Bowel pyrotechnics now moved in on the sickness and my stomach swelled as if I was pregnant and was so painful I could hardly walk. A lot of other people had been sick, but only for 24 hours. I was getting on for over 48 hours and now felt worse. I went to call my dad on Skype in the nearest internet cafe, inbetween my sobs he suggested I go to the doctors. After I finished the owner approached me, with a concerned smile and comforting maternal curves and asked me if I was ok. I managed to squeak 'Where is the clinic? I'm very sick'. Luckily Pai is so small, it was a 3 minute walk down the road. The doctor told me I had gastronitis and gave a nice supply of antibiotics and pills to take away the pains in my stomach. Feeling better I headed back to my dingy bungalow, set in beautiful flower and herb gardens. I then started to feel really ill again, but I needed to get more water and call my dad again to prevent him from thinking I could be in a Thai Hospital somewhere and thus turning his hair prematurely grey in a few hours. I staggered down the busy main road, it was about 8pm and the Thais were out in force enjoying their public holiday. I reached the internet cafe and couldn't stop myself from crying when I called my dad. The woman rushed up to me and started rubbing my back and handed me a bundle of tissues. When I left she said in a soothing maternal voice: 'Don't worry, you'll be ok. You get better. Go get some sleep'.

The next day I did feel slightly better so I set off for some vegetable soup for lunch. I then bumped into a girl who was staying at Julie's in Chiang Mai, we chatted for a few hours. I felt much better and my vegetable and rice soup had decided not to make a swfity exit. A few others who had got the bus with Renee also came to sit with us and we arranged to meet that evening for dinner and to check out 'Don't Cry' Bar's charity live music event. I had moved into a new, nice bungalow that morning complete with huge bed, tv and fridge. I do believe that a few hours of watching Mr Bean and BBC World aided my recovery along with the antibiotics. I cried with joy when I found a channel showing continuous Mr Bean and at the comforting sound of the Pronounced English of the newsreaders. I felt well enough to make some new friends, as everyone else I knew had now left Pai. We went to a Pizza Place for dinner. I was annoyed that my stomach probably wouldn't handle the delicious-looking proper Italian Pizzas and slowly ate my salad instead (it did have beetroot in it though!). We then went to Don't Cry for a while. Like most of the bars here it was a huge bonfire everyone crowds around. My pineapple juice wasn't as good as Chang though. Renee invited me to join her tomorrow as she was renting a motorbike to explore around the countryside of Pai. I decided another night in the Grand suite would aid my recovery further and agreed. On the way back I passed the internet cafe and the woman waved at me and asked me how I was. I couldn't help but smile and thank her for being so kind to me 'I'm much better now' I told her, and she smiled and said 'I told you you would get better'.

It seems that despite Renee's motorbike-driving virginity, the brief instructions from the rental place and a few minutes practicing with us both on the back were enough to enable her to take us cruising around the absolutely stunning countryside surrounding Pai. We first visited a Chinese village and then drove to a Waterfall. Stopping along the way for scenic shots and bananas, we then visited Pai Canyon which is actually quite impressive and offers amazing views. Hunger started to call so we found a restaurant sat on the top of a hill overlooking rice and garlic paddy fields. Deciding it was too late to visit the further away waterfalls we headed back via Elephant Camp road which is full of elephants chained up waiting to be used for elephant rides. After seeing that it confirmed my decision not to any elephant riding here. It was really upsetting to see them confined to a roadside. A baby elephant even had a tear trickling down its cheek. Later on we met to search for some decent red wine, Renee is a chef and fine wine lover also. 'Good life' had some good red wine, but was closing soon so we headed further up and found a bar with a band playing cover versions of dub and ska classics. Unfortunately the wine here was not as good and slowly we sipped it pretending it didn't taste like vinegar. We decided we'd drive to the Caves tomorrow.

The next morning Renee passed me on her motorbike, she'd been sick in the night and was moving to a plush new place as she was meant to be getting the boat to Laos the following night. I now believe there's a secret conspiracy in Pai to make the Farang sick so they stay even longer. As I was fully recovered I spent the day eating various bakery goods to compensate for any weight loss during my illness. I think I probably ended up overcompensating. I then wandered over the river to Fluid, which has an outdoor swimming pool. So I went for a swim, unfortunately the said bakery goods meant I got stitch and cramp whilst swimming and ended up a spluttering mess in the deep end of the pool, much to the amusement to other people (all smug couples) sunbathing there. That evening I just had some dinner and went to bed as I wanted to have a Yoga day on Tuesday, as Wednesday I was leaving to Chiang Mai for one more night before heading back to Bangkok.

I returned to Fluid for the morning Yoga class. Me and one other guy were given an hour and a half's class in Sundo Yoga, an ancient Korean practice, which concentrates more on fire-belly breathing and pressure points. It was different to the yoga I was used to practising, but it was still a relaxing way to start the day. Feeling energised I went off to do some browsing around Pai, I wanted some little purses handmade by the Northern Tribes people. I then went to 'Good Life' for a healthy brown rice salad and wheatgrass shake in an attempt to compensate for the previous day's bakery raping. I got chatting to a British/Iraqi guy from London studying medicine, him and his friend were in Thailand to do work experience, but also got 3 weeks holiday too. I then got chatting to two American guys who had actually been on the bus from Chiang Mai to Pai with Sanna and I. Sanna being the almost 6 foot tall stunner had been the one they had devoted their attention too though, but they still remembered me and we got talking. One of the guys, Joe, I had seen around a lot, each time with a different girl, so when he offered me a motorbike lift to my next yoga class I figured his game out immediately. I don't decline motorbike rides though, especially when running late.

The afternoon Yoga class was amazing. It was Vishtanya (like Ashtanga) yoga and more the style I was used to. It had been two years since my last proper yoga class and it was apparent. But the teacher was lovely and she helped me improve my techniques. Set in such beautiful surroundings you can't help but feel uplifted and I felt so spiritually calm and mentally well again (If you hadn't realised already I'm into my health stuff: yoga, herbal teas, incense. I like to classify myself as a 21st century hippy, minus the grotty dreads and trousers that clearly should only be worn as pyjamas). I then went to meet Joe and David at their bungalows set in the paddy fields. The sun was setting beautifully over the mountains and then a crescent moon appeared, looking like a smile. The hills here frame Pai giving the impression it exists in its own little bubble in which the sky is distorted to beautifully, illogical proportions. Brent, another American, joined us for dinner too. Joe and I were going to go explore the town, but then Sara a british woman who lives in the most beautiful house next to that particular bungalow resort came over and asked if we'd like to go visit a hot springs pool at one of the elephant camps. The guys all knew her as she lived so close by and Brent was camping next to her house. Being the spontaneous type and being previously disappointed by the absolutely tiny natural hot spring we stopped briefly at on our rafting trip I jumped at the chance for such an opportunity on my last night in Pai. So on the back of Joe's motorbike, wearing many layers including Shaun the Sheep bed socks underneath my flip flops, we found Joy's Elephant Camp. Here they have a pool that has a tap with water from the Hot Springs. The others were already there and all bathing naked under the stars. Keeping my bikini on I entered the warm water. With the sound of the elephants in the distance and shooting stars overhead we bathed for a few hours, the water actually got uncomfortably hot at one point, but the thought of leaving the pool to the freezing night air meant getting out was easier said than done. Still we managed it and then went for food at a night stall further out of town. Sara and David went back, but Joe, Brent and I headed to 'Bee Bop' the local nightclub. We entered to find a Thai band thrashing over American rock covers and Thai teenagers dancing manically by the stage. It was closing time soon though and everyone, including a rowdy british group, started to move out. After being left unimpressed a UV bar next door playing RnB we headed to 'Don't Cry'. Brent somehow acquired two drunken Austrian acne-faced lads on the back of his motorbike and I looked back from the back of Joe's motorbike half expecting one of them to have drunkenly fallen off. We all managed to reach 'Don't Cry' in one piece, including Joe, who I was slowly coming to the conclusion was somewhat of an alcoholic. We sat around the bonfire for about an hour. The british crowd had also arrived by now and their drunken singing of Irish songs was too much and so we left.

I hardly slept that night, but awoke early the next morning to walk around Pai for a few final hours and to buy some more jewellery and bakery goods. I met Brent for breakfast at the bungalows, as David and Joe were riding to Mae Hong Son that day. Turns out Brent also wanted to leave and so planned to get the bus after me to Chiang Mai. I walked back to the main part of town slowly, absorbing the beauty of it all for a final time. My attachment to Pai had developed strongly during my time here, even despite my illness. 'Don't cry in Pai' is a famous phrase here and it actually holds some truth. If I could be ill anywhere in the world, it would be Pai. Fresh air, breathtaking scenery, herbal teas, the friendliness of everyone, yoga and natural hot springs water proved to be very healing and so I left Pai feeling rejuvenated...and the idea of coming back to open my own cafe and live in a beautiful little house out in the paddy fields, guarded by the hills, firmly planted in my head....

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