Chiang Mai and a Piece of Pai

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I was so excited for my train to Chiang Mai. It was easy. It was one thing. Go to sleep in Bangkok at 10pm, wake up in Chiang Mai at 12:30pm. But it's never that easy, is it? Thankfully, I had two seats to myself on the train. I kept waking up to put on layers because it was FREEZING as we sped into northern Thailand. At 10:00am we got woken up (slightly less abruptly than the buses). There was something wrong with the track—possibly a petrol spill. The train couldn't continue. We were about 40 miles away from Chiang Mai. We all got off the train and waited outside the station while buses came and picked us up. We got on the third bus after about an hour of waiting. By this time I had met two friends—an Aussie girl and a Dutch girl. We got on the bus together and waited to arrive in Chiang Mai. But then the bus broke down (we assume since we were provided with 0 information). So we all got off the bus and sat in the sun on the side of the road waiting for another bus. That bus finally arrived at the train station around 1:30pm. We found a taxi (we were all staying at At Baan Khun 2 Hostel). I showed the driver the name of the hostel and the address in Thai, and he took us to At Baan Khun. They couldn't find our reservations at the front desk, which is when we learned that there are 2 hostels and we were stupposed to be at the other one. So we got in another taxi that took us there.

We arrived at 3pm, and there was no one to be found. Finally a girl named Nyu checked us in. We got settled in our dorms and went to find food. We had okay green curry at a restaurant we found, and then we took a long walk to the white temple in Chiang Mai. We stayed there for a while before going back to the hostel. We chilled out for a bit, showered, and then went to the night market with a bunch of people from the hostel. We had some Changs and kebabs and then the group split up. There was a guy who stayed with the three of us named Alex, and he brought us to this Bus Bar, which sounds way cooler than it actually is. The bar itself was in a bus, but everything else was outside, so you couldn't go hang out in the bus. There was some live music, which was putting us to sleep until the three of us girls got up and just started dancing, which the musicians loved.

After a while, we wanted to leave, so we headed towards Zoe In Yellow Bar, which is pretty much the main bar in Chiang Mai. It took us a while to get there but we arrived and didn't love it, so we found a Ska Bar. We walked in, and there was a live band playing Bob Marley. No one was dancing, so we danced and a few people joined us. We left that bar and went to the Reggae Bar next door joking about how it would be really funny if they were playing Ska. THEY WERE. Still no dancing. So we started. We had a blast at this bar and spent a long time dancing. By the time we left there were about 10 people on the dance floor. We ended the night at Full Moon Bar before getting toasties at 7/11 and heading back to the hostel.

The next morning I got up early and had breakfast at the hostel. I got picked up to go to the Elephant Jungle Sanctuary, where they rescue elephants from riding camps and give them happy lives. There were 7 of us in the truck we took—me and 3 couples. One of the bars on the top of the truck was broken, and we understood why when we got to the driveway of the sanctuary about an hour and a half later. The driveway was BUMPY AS HELL. Half of us had nothing to grab onto (see: bar), and so we just sort of held onto the sides of the truck for dear life. We arrived intact and met everyone else who was hanging out with the elephants that day. The Thai guys running the place gave us all Karen tribe shirts, and we walked barefoot down to the elephant field where the guys gave us the rules. They taught us how to feed the elephants, talked about how much they eat (250-350 kilos per day), and told us not to approach them from behind or get stepped on. Then they gave us free reign to feed the elephants. We had bananas and sugarcane and put them right in the elephants' mouths. There were some adults and some babies—6 elephants in total. Once they warmed up to us, they got greedy, as they poked their trunks around our pockets and snatched food out of our hands. We could hug the trunks and got kisses from some, which felt like a vacuum on my face. It was really fun.

After feeding the elephants we took a walk with them down the river so that they could feed themselves from the trees in the riverbank. We watched them as they disappeared in the trees but their trunks poked out from the tops. The baby started to slide down the mud of the riverbank, so another elephant hoisted him up with his back. It was awesome. The Thai guys (who were about as entertaining as the elephants) started throwing elephant poop at each other and making us all smell the poop (it doesn't smell). Some of them ate pieces of it. I did not.

We walked back to the sanctuary for lunch, which was delicious noodles and rice and chicken. We ate for a long time and then made 'medicine' for the elephants, which were balls of rice, grains, and bananas all mixed together. We changed into our bathing suits and each took some balls to give to the elephants. They went CRAZY for them. Couldn't get enough. When we ran out, it was time for a mud bath. Since elephants have crazy thick skin, they roll in mud to cool off because they can't sweat. Some people entered the mud with trepidation. I did not. I ran in because mud is fun and if you disagree, you're wrong and be a kid once in a while. Geez.

The elephants were wading around and lying down on their sides. When they lay down, we would go over and grab armfuls of mud and rub them on the exposed half of the skin. They relished in it. While we did that, the Thai guys ran around rubbing mud on all of our backs and throwing mud at each other. Everyone started letting loose and throwing mud at each other.

From the perspective of anyone else there, they might say something like, “all of a sudden, I heard a huge splash, and when I turned around there was a girl covered head to toe in mud with a huge smile on her face.”

From the perspective of me, I got TACKLED. One of the Thai guys laid me out in the mud. I was the only one. I got up and started throwing mud at him, but we were all leaving. The Texans I had met started laughing at me, so I started jumping on them. Another Thai guy rubbed mud in my face. It was a good time.

We walked down to the river where the elephants (and humans) were rinsing off in a waterfall. There was just a pile of 6 happy elephants. We took buckets and threw water on them while they rolled around in the waterfall squeaking and trumpeting with happiness. It was amazing to see the smiles on their faces and how happy their eyes were. The elephants went back to the sanctuary, and the humans jumped in a pool above the waterfall and soaped ourselves off. We walked back to the sanctuary, changed, piled into our trucks (same broken one) and headed home. That night I went out with the Texans to Zoe In Yellow and had a huge night with lots of dancing.

The next morning I got up really early (again), tried (unsuccessfully) to find breakfast, and got in the back of a truck to go for a trek. I had packed my small backpack because I don't want to carry everything I own (13 kilos) around a jungle for three days. I can do with much less. I got dropped off at the hostel the trek was through and met everyone else. There were 11 of us in total. Me, a Canadian, 4 Germans, a French guy, an Italian, a Finnish girl, and 2 Swiss-Germans. We got to know each other a bit on the long truck ride to the trail, stopping off at the market to buy water, toilet paper, flashlights, and bandanas (best purchase I made). We arrived at the trail and waited outside of the truck to see who would be leading us. Our guide (I guess) told us we would be following “Jungle Man” while he took a shortcut. According to the itinerary, it was a 20 minute hike to lunch and then a 3-hour hike to the village. But it's Thailand, so throw the itinerary out the window.

We hiked for about an hour to a waterfall that was beautiful. We ate really good fried rice out of banana leaves, waded in the water, climbed to the top of the waterfall, and hung out under the waterfall. People took pictures (I didn't because I was rushed leaving my hostel and had left my camera battery charging in the lobby. Woops). After about an hour and a half there, we were all ready to go. Only to be told that we were staying there until 2. Which was an hour away. Apparently the village was only about 30 more minutes away and the waterfall was what we were doing that day. So I took a nap, and we waited.

We finally set off again, and ended up in the village. Our guide showed us where we were staying (one room, 6 large mats for 2 people each with one big mosquito net for each mat), where the bathroom was (outhouse), where the shower was (river), and where the 7/11 was (cooler). He taught us how to say “thank you” in his language, which sounds like “tablUH” because if you say “tabluh” it means “crazy.” We all hung out for a bit at the campsite but wanted to see the village. Three of us set out. As we hiked the hillside the village was set on, we passed by a boar that we had been warned about. Then our tour guide poked his head out of the house by the boar and invited us in. On the way a puppy greeted us, so I was sold. We went into this little barn where an old woman was cooking food for the pig and our tour guide (Ban) was drinking rice wine. I held the puppy and loved it while he poured each of us two shots (because we have two legs). Apparently they make the rice wine in the village to celebrate the new year/rice harvest, but no one actually sells it. They just use it for the village.

After we had our fill of rice wine and puppies (never) the rest of the group came up, and we all walked through the village, getting little glimpses of life. Women walking, kids playing and working, churches, houses on stilts, pigs, chickens, dogs, cats, etc. It was really lovely. The houses were beautiful (sorry about the lack of pictures).

At 5:30 Ban was going to start cooking and invited us to come see/help him, so I went into the kitchen where an old woman was preparing the ingredients. I taught her the names for things in English while she repeated them back to me, and then Ban came in and put me to work chopping onions. He made us green curry and veggies and noodles, and we gorged. We each got a bowl of rice and there was extra rice on the table. When they served the food they said, “if you need more rice, let us know. We have more in the kitchen.” We definitely weren't going to need more rice, but throughout the meal, they kept shouting at us and asking if we needed more rice. It became a joke the rest of the trek. After dinner it was cold. We sat by the fire, and an old Thai man came and gave us all “water magic,” which turned out to be rice wine. Then Ban came and told us about the Karen people and gave us more magic water. We got to ask him questions about his life and village and learned a lot. As we started to go to bed, he told us to tell him if we got too cold, but only the women.

That night it was freezing cold. I had a sleeping bag and extra blanket, but I kept waking up because my face was freezing. I did get some sleep and woke up in the morning to watch the sun rise. The fire was still smoking a bit, so I stoked it and added wood to get it going again. Ban gave us coffee and tea, and it rapidly got hot once the sun rose over the mountains. Our breakfast was scrambled eggs, toast with margarine and jam, pineapple, and watermelon. We had the morning to hang out a bit and then we started trekking. We hiked all the way up to the top of the village to the school, where it was Children's Day. We watched the festivities for a bit, but there weren't any games to get involved in, so we left. We trekked for about 3 hours. A kid named Nevin, who Ban called, “Jungle Boy. I Jungle King!” was leading us and basically sprinting. We hiked up and down and up and down and sometimes it was flat and it was a long time. The Italian was lamenting about how we weren't really in the jungle despite it being called a jungle trek, so every time we saw a motorbike on the dirt roads we walked on, we called it an elephant or tiger. Some highlights from that morning:


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I was right behind Nevin when he stopped short. He looked back at me and pointed in front of him. Right in front of his face in the middle of the path was a black and yellow spider the size of my fist. I freaked out a little bit and in my head thought, “well, this is impassible. The trek is over. Time to turn around. The spider wins.” Then, to my dismay, Jungle Boy grabs the spider and lets it crawl around his hand. Commence me shrieking. He put it on a tree next to him, and we moved forward.
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I was right behind Nevin again when he stopped short. Again. He looked at me and said, “snake” while pointing at a tree. Sure enough, there's a bright green snake. Except this time Nevin doesn't start moving again. I asked if the snake was poisonous, and he slowly nodded. The snake was about 10 feet off the trail on the side of a tree, but still a bit too close for comfort. We waited until it slithered to the other side of the tree before sprinting down the trail. Out of sight, out of mind.


For lunch we ate at a bungalow that overlooked a beautiful view of mountains and rice paddies (I have a picture!) Lunch was, I kid you not, Top Ramen with bok choy. So fancy. We played cards, rested, and then continued our trek. We trekked about an hour and a half more until we reached a pool we could swim in. Unlike most treks I've been on, every single person went in the water, despite it being FREEZING cold. It was so refreshing, and we were so happy. Once we got out of the water, we only had about 20 minutes more of walking to get to our campsite by the same river the pool was in. Here's a highlight from that small hike:

I was near the end of the group. The group slowed way down and everyone started whispering. Then the girl in front of me turned back to me and said, “we have to be quiet. Bees.” Now, if you know me, you probably know that I am irrationally afraid of bees. I am not allergic, and I love what bees do for the environment and love them when they're far far away from me. So when she pointed to a tree trunk my eyes widened as I saw about a 2-square-foot patch fluttering in sync because it was covered with bees. This was about 8 feet off the trail. Could've been 10, but I was horrified. I grabbed Pikka's (the Finnish girl) hand and ran for my life until I caught up with the rest of the group. I survived.

This campsite was a series of bungalows. There were a bunch of mini ones and one big one. I stayed in the big one with all the girls, and the boys occupied the little ones. It was great because I had three blankets and a big mat to myself. Plus this mat was padded, unlike the one from the previous night. We played cards (Asshole, which I had taught everyone), drank Chang, and waited for dinner. Dinner was chicken and pumpkin in a curry sauce over rice (more rice in kitchen!) After eating our fill, we sat by the fire for a long time. The pieces of wood were way too long, and some were too thick to snap with our feet and hands, so I went into the kitchen where one of the Thai guys gave me his machete, and I got to hack the wood into smaller pieces. Like a badass. Eventually, we ran out of wood, so Ban took one of the planks around the fire (you know, used as a bench) and threw that in the fire. I bundled up in all my blankets and slept so soundly that night.

The next morning I woke up for the sunrise again. After breakfast (same as the day before but the egg was hardboiled instead of scrambled), we packed up our stuff and hiked for a whole 20 minutes to civilization! We walked on the road to a restaurant where we used the bathroom and saw the first mirror in 3 days. We hung out at the restaurant listening to roosters crow at each other (some were pathetic) and waiting for our truck. A dirty white pick-up truck with rusted railings on the side slowed down, and I jokingly said, “there's our truck!” There are no jokes in Thailand. That was our truck. We piled in and stood with all our stuff in the middle trying not to fall out. FUN. We got to the elephant riding camp, which I immediately didn't like. The elephants looked really sad. Pikka and I debated whether or not we were going to do it for a while, and finally decided that if we hated it, we could maybe get off. We hated it. It only lasted for about 30 minutes and we hated every second and felt so guilty. When we arrived back we bought sugarcane for the elephant. There was one elephant to take pictures with/feed, but we wanted to feed OUR elephant, so we went around and were able to give her two bags of sugarcane.

The next activity was bamboo rafting. This was much better because it didn't hurt anyone. The raft was made out of about 7 long, thick, pieces of bamboo tied together with bamboo and tire. We sat on the raft and went down the river for an hour. It was really fun, and we got to see a lot of snakes on the side of the river. We kept hitting rocks and trees, but the river went pretty slow. When we got off, we had pad thai for lunch before getting in a truck (the normal taxi one) and heading back to Chiang Mai.

When I got dropped off at my hostel, I checked in, showered, put my stuff in my laundry bag, and went out to get a massage. While exploring Chiang Mai, I had noticed signs for massages by ex-prisoners. I thought that might be an interesting experience, so I beelined for that. I paid 200 baht for an hour massage and waited. A woman came out and washed my feet and tried to sell me on a 2-hour massage. I declined and went into the massage room where I was given a silk shirt and pants to change into. I changed and laid down in the bed. The woman started massaging my feet and legs. About 5 minutes into the massage I realized I had nowhere else to be and asked if I could change to two hours. I mean, it's only about $11. So she went out front and changed it and came back in to resume the best massage of my life. She talked to me a bit during the massage, but she was so nice that I didn't mind. She asked how old I was, and it turns out that she has a 25-year-old daughter. She's 43. She was really impressed that I was traveling alone. I think she would've high-fived me if she wasn't massaging me. She is the manager of that massage parlor as well as an instructor. She told me she was an ex-prisoner, and with some trepidation, I asked why she was in prison. “I kir husband.” Oh. This isn't like petty theft ex-prisoners. I had a murderer massaging me. From what I gathered, her husband didn't want a daughter. He wanted a son. So she killed him. Which I take to mean that he was going to kill the daughter, so she killed him. She was in prison for 11 years. Now her daughter is studying to be a doctor. At the end of the massage, I sat up in the bed so that she could wrench my body around to make it crack and stuff. She started fixing my hair from the head massage and then started braiding it. As she was braiding my hair in the shape of a heart, she told me how much I reminded her of her daughter. So, that happened.

The next morning I got on a bus to Pai near the Myanmar border in Northern Thailand. I had heard two things about Pai: beautiful, full of hippies. And that's exactly what it was. I stayed at Common Grounds Hostel, which my friend Julian from Block Island had recommended to me. I immediately fell in love with the place. The common area, which is also a bar, is full of hammocks, mats, bean bags, and blankets. People are strumming on guitars, talking over tea and beers, and reading and napping in hammocks.

Side note about the traveling community: The night before Julian had texted me really late. He was down on Koh Samui and said that the guy he was traveling with knew this girl who got in a horrible accident in Chiang Mai and was in intensive care. She had A- blood, which is extremely rare in Thailand. Could I please spread the word and try to get her some help? When I got to Pai, the first thing I saw in the hostel was a sign on a chalkboard that said “Do you have A- or O- blood? Talk to the staff!” There were signs like this on every surface and door in the hostel. Two girls had gone to get their blood tested that day. I went on Facebook and saw that travelers had posted an article about it. This 21-year-old girl from England was 8 days into her gap year with her 19-year-old friend when a car driving on the wrong side of the road hit her motorbike. She had a brain hemorrhage and a broken pelvis. After emergency surgery, she was anemic because of the lack of A- blood in Thailand. Her parents and traveling partner were by her side. Only a few hours after this, a girl in the hostel got a message from a friend. She had gone to the hospital to give blood and got turned away because the turnout was so huge. About 60 people showed up that day to donate blood to this girl. She got the blood and is now recovering. Humanity is great, and I'm so happy to be part of this community.

Anyway, I was at the hostel meeting everyone who basically just comes to Pai and stays there. Everyone knew each other and it was a great family. We got the awful news that David Bowie had died, so someone put David Bowie on over the speakers, and that's what we listened to all night. A guy named Easy whose birthday it was put on leggings and a dress and painted his face white with the lightening bolt. It was a great tribute. We went out to dinner and then drank at the hostel under blankets with dogs. I was so in my element. We went out to a bar where a band of people from the hostel was playing. There had been a Scottish guy lying in a hammock at the hostel all day who looked quite sick, and I couldn't understand a word he was saying because of his accent. Then, there he was, at the reggae bar, singing with a beautiful voice. We danced and sang along and had a great night.

The next morning was my one day in Pai. I went to a place called Sunset Bar with 5 people from 5 countries, and we spent the day wandering around rice paddies and mountains. We stayed until the sunset getting to know each other and listening to perfect music. Then we went back to the hostel where Easy put lipstick on me, and I met a whole new group of people. I had been out in the sun all day, so I was exhausted and went to bed early and happily.

My last morning in Pai, I was so sad to leave. I got a bus for 4:30 and went out with Easy and a German guy for breakfast. The only table with space for us had a man sitting at it, so we sat with him. I ordered a full English breakfast, and we talked to this guy. Who, turns out, is crazy. Whacko. His name is John and he's 58 years old from Hawaii. He retired 10 years ago and has been living in Southeast Asia for 10 years. He has a wife in Cambodia and a dog named Sausage that he brought to Pai. Let me just tell you some of the things he said.

He told us to buy a kilo of silver or an ounce of rhodium and sit on it for years because that investment will let us retire early. He chastised the German for letting Muslims in his country. Said that if he was living in Germany, he should invest in an assault rifle and bulletproof vest. YES. THESE ARE THINGS HE SAID. He kept telling me that I shouldn't go snowboarding in New Zealand because I'm definitely going to get hurt because I haven't gotten hurt yet. He was adamant about that. He told us about the time a French guy in his 20s kicked his dog and broke his leg, so John went to this guy's hostel and broke his leg with a stool and kept beating him even when the stool was broken and then made him pay 40,000 baht for the vet fees.

I'm sure there's more, but you get the idea. It was an interesting breakfast. I then went back to the hostel and ended up laying in a hammock all day, which was so nice. The band was practicing, so I just listened to live music and laid in a hammock and did things on my computer. At 4:00 I went to the bus station and got my bus back to Chiang Mai. I went back to the hostel, met some people, went out, and got up early the next morning for a trip to Laos.

The van picked me up around 9:30. It filled up and drove for a long time to the white temple near Chiang Rai. The white temple was beautiful. It was clean and covered in pieces of glass that made it reflect really nicely. It was full of Chinese tourists taking pictures. There was a man who sat in a tower and yelled at tourists to keep walking and stop stopping. There was a weird pool of hands and some skulls. It was kind of creepy, especially since everything was white. We continued on to Chiang Kong, which is a border town and that's it. We could see Laos across the river! I shared a hotel room with a German woman and then met a group of 3 travelers from Holland, Germany, and England. We went to the one British pub for drinks because there was nothing else to do before dinner, and we had baht to spend (albeit, not very much). We had really good massaman curry for dinner, got snacks at 7/11, and then I went to bed. It was going to be an early morning to cross the border and take the slow boat down to Laos.

Thanks for everything, Thailand. I'll be back.

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[D MJ Binkley]

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