Same Same But Different

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Action packed from the beginning until the end. In fact it was amazing before it had even started. The mountain highway passed through some astounding scenery. It weaved through the undulating terrain and at one point our bus nearly travelled backwards because of the slope. During a toilet break I witnessed a monk smoking while he was on the phone. I could not help staring. Come to think of it, I have seen monks do this sort of thing before. In Bangkok I had seen a monk on an iPod. I wonder what he was listening to? Hopefully it was a bit of Kings of Leon, or better yet Daft Punk. A travel companion I had met said she had seen three monks on three adjacent ATMs. She did not even think they had bank accounts. Somehow we both thought they had a special place for their money but actually they live in the same world we do.

On the first day, I got the temples out of the way. This was a bit a formality now. I did not have to go but just in case I miss one, I visit as many as I can. I was not let down. In a temple called Wat Phan Tao I found thirty monks, with freshly shaven heads, reciting Buddhist scriptures on the loud speaker. A beautiful sight. Many tourists, including myself, sat and listened for an hour or so until our bums got sore. This only occurs once a month at a particular time of day. Lucky me!

I had no plans for the evening until it came to my attention that my newly made Dutch friends, I met in Bangkok were in town. Martijn and Maarten had just returned from a jungle trek they had been on for three days. Martijn bore the brunt of the mosquito bites. They were bright pink right up his his leg, whereas Maarten looked as if he had not left the Netherlands. That night we decided to hunt for a bargain in the night market. This is where we came across a Thai national phrase. With regards to a Ralph Lauren polo, we asked why is it so cheap to a market seller and he replied, "same same but different!". For people without half a brain, this means it is fake. I discovered it to be a very handy little phrase if I wanted to make a local laugh. During our market ramble, we came across a group of artists. Every one of them were extremely talented and seemingly could paint anything to look lifelike. One man we found painting a lady's bum. His talent appeared to be wasted here, although I can imagine he would be getting a decent wage out of that behind. To put the cherry on top of a fun-filled day we stumbled across a Dutch-styled bar. The boys fell in love with the place instantly and we quickly polished off a few beverages before a well earned rest.

The following day I rented a motorcycle. An incredibly easy procedure. I just asked my guest house for one and twenty minutes later I rode off, with no need for ID or a driving license. Simple! I rode through the busy Chiang Mai traffic full throttle, which was fun, then I rode up a mountain road, which was unbelievably exciting. The road twisted and turned, up the steep slope. A awesome challenge and when another vehicle was nearby, it was enjoyable to race. The race really only involved myself because the cars were much faster around the corners and the motorbike riders were a lot more experienced on this road. If I had the chance to do it again i would snap it up straight away. The destination I arrived at was Wat Phra That Doi Suthep. My Lonely Planet recommended it as the number one experience in Thailand. it did not disappoint. I climbed the 306 step staircase to find a beautiful golden stupa at the summit. Many Bhuddhist worshippers circled the monument reciting some sacred scriptures. This was not even the good part. The temple sat on top of the mountain to give panoramic views of the large city below. We were so high, only roads could just be made out. When the mist cleared, the mountains on the other side of Chiang Mai could be sighted. One word: stunning!

If the ride up was not enough, the ride down was more interesting. Literally within the clouds, the road had become slightly greasy. The road was steeper than I previously thought and the brakes were not as sensitive as they should have been. A couple of times I strayed to the other side of the road and thankfully cars were not coming the other way. If that were the case, there would be no doubt I would have been seriously injured. I guess the risk factor made it more exhilarating. The heart pumping action did not stop there. The traffic police were out. I saw a couple of tourists get pulled over for their licences. These guys look intimidating too. The all where dark aviator sunglasses with a helmet. Replicas of Terminator 2. Not someone I want to be stopped by! This is where I am grateful for my skin colour. I breezed by them without them taking a second look at me. Phew! To end the day I met up with the Dutch boys for a meal before saying our goodbyes before their second ever flight.

Now for the action to begin. I had booked an all day jungle tour with various activities. On the way to the main parts, our tour group, stopped of at a butterfly garden and orchid farm. My companions thought it was "a flop" but I enjoyed it thoroughly. The orchids were perfect for a budding photographer (get it?). The colours and shapes make a great composition. The butterfly farm was something to forget though. It probably had one hundred butterflies at most.

We moved on to do some elephant trekking. I drew the "short straw" and had to my one bareback. Not the most pleasant experience because I was wearing shorts and their hair seems to be made out of steel wire. Still, what an incredible animal. It enormous ears were constantly flapping against my legs and its dexterous trunk ripping up the vegetation plus reaching back for my banana. Simply magnificent. Rather than trekking it was more like an "elephant stroll around the block". To be fair, my legs were red raw at the end of this and was thankful it was all over. A couple of minutes before the conclusion of the "stroll" a monsoon storm hit us. Within seconds we were drenched and to make matters worse, our elephant squirted muddy water up at us, from its trunk. It is extremely hard to get annoyed at an elephant so we (a couple and I) laughed it off.

After the rain subsided and spot of jungle village lunch the group split up to journey to separate waterfalls. I spent the rest of the afternoon with a lovely Portuguese couple. A short hike and we arrived at our small water feature. There were only a couple of locals and a handful of tourists sunbathing. We donned our swimming gear (literally just boxers for my Portuguese friend) and hopped in. Everything was made by nature. A small water slide fell into a whirlpool Jacuzzi. The fast flowing fresh water cleared the senses and made me feel like I could start the whole day again. We stayed for only forty-five minutes and I could have easily stayed the whole day. One cannot have too much fun.

The next activity was the last but definitely not the least. The earlier torrential rains meant this activity was more dangerous. Can you guess what it is yet? White-water rafting! The safety induction made the Portuguese lady terrified and she did not take part. An expert replaced her and I felt more safe. The instructors were not wrong about the river. I could feel my heart through my life-jacket because it was rapid flowing and the rapids ahead we throwing up gallons of white water. I'm sure it was nothing though the sensible side of me contemplated bottling it. Luckily I have a the sensible side is not even half the size of my insensible side and jumped straight in the boat. As we slowly took the current downstream I felt petrified. We somehow navigated our way through the first two sets of rapids and the big daddy awaited us. To my surprise we made it and we were the lucky ones. The boat ahead flipped including having the captain flung out first. We picked up a relieved shipwrecked American and dropped him with his pale-faced com-padres. When the rapids had been passed we boarded a bamboo raft. Initially, my foot got stuck between the bamboo and it created an enormous and painful bruise. The pain was forgotten when we drifted down the now peaceful jungle river. The raft allowed water cool my back while my body and face were warmed by the lowering sun. Trees overhung, birds chirped and insects sung. My Portuguese friend and I said "this is why we came travelling!". The day cold have been doubled and it was not enough.

On the way home we drove passed hundreds of smartly dressed village school children. They waved as we went by. We also travelled by an elephant rider. A brilliant sight not just because he was riding an elephant but due to the fact he was on his mobile phone. Surreal!

On my supposed final day, I got my standard drink of Vanilla Milkshake at my favourite restaurant, Chiang Mai Saloon, and got a slap up meal. With regards to the former, I just had to walk in and they knew what drink I wanted. I had the same thing four days straight. Later, I attended the local Muay Thai stadium. I got my own table and table service while I watched the fighters kicked the living daylights out of each other. In fact the women were more brutal. There was a lot less technique involved and all they seemed to love a bit of windmilling. I've never seen so many head-shots. It was like a Rocky film. They kept on coming back for more punishment. Highlight of the night was when four boxers were blindfolded and pitted against each other. It gave me the greatest laugh of my trip so far. The ref was knocked down three times. The feel someone and the swing. Quality entertainment. The penultimate fight was the big one. It was a professional bout. The difference in class relative to the other fights was undeniable. There were proper spinning kicks flying. The victor was twice as fast and ten times as mean. He was never going to lose. I even got a "touch" fist pump from him after the fight. The final fight even got a knock out. I enjoyed watching the fights here because it was for more personal than I expected. I could smell the blood. Thapae Boxing Stadium is highly recommended.

I was due to leave the next morning but I had too much fun after the boxing. What that fun was I will not say but I wasted a bus ticket and a day recovering from the fun. That's what comes with having a good time in Chiang Mai!

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Photos

Cheeky
All of that talent used to paint a bum

Donation Tree
A couple of donations are toilet roll

Comments

[tim]

vampire
blood lust