Meditation Retreat

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I went to the Wat and the meeting place for the meditation retreat about an hour early, their were only two other people when I arrived. I would eventually end up traveling with them to Pai. By the time everyone arrived their were about thirty people, only seven of us would remain at the end. Before we left to the retreat center they gave us the low down, we would be waking up at five every morning, no intoxicants (that included cigarettes) and no talking. Then we left to the remote location, it was a beautiful complex. we took the time before dinner to get to know each other, because after we would have to be silent. the first day and night were easy, slightly uncomfortable to sit for so long, and the silence was kind of nice. We practiced sitting meditation, walking meditation and laying meditation. We did everything slowly and with mindfulness.

The second day we were awoken at five by a gong, for two hours of yoga, meditation and chanting before breakfast, after breakfast we mediated some more, by this time my back was aching and stiff from sitting for so long. and after lunch 14 people went home. the rest of us continued on with meditation. By the time we went to bed I was aching all over from the simple action of sitting and I was pissed. I had decided that this sort of meditation was too strict for my self and I was going home the next day.

I woke up at five again, still pissed off and still in pain. You wouldn't really say I was the picture of peace. we did our morning exercises and the yoga felt so good. still it wasn't enough to lift my mood. then during the discussion something clicked, I decided If I could tough it out it would get better. 7 more people went home that day. we went on with our meditations, I was still in pain but not so much pain. and I learned. I learned how to meditate on and with my pain, I learned that it was OK for me to use drawing as a form of mediation while at the retreat. this alleviated a lot of agony for me, giving me a chance to meditate and do something that I love.

The fourth day the gong woke us up again at 5, I was in a rather good mood and decided to do some laying meditation before I got up. then I woke up again an hour later and went to the meditation hall real sheepishly. the fourth day was amazing, I felt peaceful. I felt happy. It was also a sad day, because just as it was starting to really make sense we had to go home.

As the truck took us away from the retreat we awkwardly tried to communicate with each other after not talking for 4 days. It was nice to learn that everyone else was feeling the pain and the frustration at first, and the longing to remain at the retreat. But it is amazing how well you can get to know someone in complete silence and soon we were hitting it off and making plans to meet at a roof top club the local girl knew about. It was strange and good to go to a club with people you spent such an unusual and peaceful experience with. before the club I went to the market with a french girl from the retreat and the two of us and another front he retreat got rooms at the same guesthouse since we all had plans to go to the same town next.

I have been a self taught practitioner of meditation for some time now but I learned so much in four days that I couldn't have with out the help of the monks and the environment of the retreat.

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