T.I.T.: a dirty acronym

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Well, well, well.

I've picked up 20hrs of classes at the drop of a hat so it seems and I'll tell you, all that island decompression lazy loveliness is a hard thing to shake in just two days.

One class is a prep. program for three university students preparing to take the TOEIC (an internationally recognized exam for ... wait did I write about this already? ... well, either way, an exam for people wanting to work in "international" settings -- a way to prove you can speak english with customers and fellow employees, etc). Sounds good ... so off I went designing this two week program and day one comes along and oops, they're actually two years away from the level necessary for taking the test and I have to rewrite the whole damn thing. Joy. Anyway, I did and it's coming along well ... we aren't going to cover the whole book, but I think they may actually be ... waiit for it ... learning something.

Another class is four 3-4 yr olds "learning" phonics. I put learning in quotations because as it turns out, they've all memorized every page of their books. I figured this out when I asked them "how many animals are in the picture" and one of the girls was on the otherside of the room, facing the wall mind you, and picking her nose said "four!" Needless to say, there were four animals in-bloody-deed.

Seeing as kids have the attention span of a fly as it is, try teaching them something they already know. Let me put it this way, I spent half of Thursday's class playing Duck, Duck, Goose (we were, for the record, suposed to be "learning" DEFG sounds so it was kind of teaching.

Okay so the third one is a conversation class with a 12 yr. old boy. One who listens to bach, prefers swimming in a speedo over soccer, and who would much MUCH rather be playing video games than talking to me. There's no books and no lesson plan ... "just get him to talk" were my instructions. Needless to say we spent a lot of time not talking the first two classes -- he was resentful (his words) that his old teacher wasn't there and because he's too boring (his words) he would rather take a nap on the beanbags, please. So the third class I came in with a word puzzle (one of those "the more you take, the more you leave behind ... what is it?" ones -- by the way, I'm not telling the answer -- any guesses?) and boom. I can't shut the kid up. Meg, 1.

If you haven't picked up on the theme of chaos and misinformation yet, let me give the metaphorical dead horse a swift kick in its metaphorical a$$ just to reiterate how graphic and horrible it can really be.

On Friday morning, I was told "your Saturday class was cancelled." Oookay, no problem.

On Friday night, I was told "your Saturday class is UN-cancelled." Oookay, when does it start? 9 a.m. With my 45 min. walk to school and absolutely no information on what I'm suposed to be teaching for three hours, this means I have to get up at 6. Oookay, I can do that.

So I get up, get to school and I ask "what books are they using?" Blank stares. Finally I found out they do have a book and they've just finished it. So test them, they say. Oookay, I can do that.

I write a test, plan two hours of prep and review and 9:00 comes and my students are sitting in front of me and I start reviewing the last unit in their book and I get blank stares. "Have you learned this?" I ask. No. No, they haven't been taught the last FIVE units in their book ... here we go. So I have to make up a lesson plan to teach out of a book I've never read before about grammar I've never studied before. That was a blast and a half.

After class and fuming, I walk downstairs and I'm telling another teacher ... well, let's be fair, b*tching to another teacher about the humiliating three hours I just spent and in response I get, "Well, T.I.T." ... this is Thailand.

It used to be that we said T.I.T. about the fried crickets in the markets, funny translations on menus, confusing road signs. It was endearing.

T.I.T. is a term of endearment, no more. Now it just pisses me off.

In other, more brightening news, I found an apartment ... great location (halfway between school and the old city), TV, fridge, & internet, garden, annnnd only 150B (about $4) a night -- half the price I'm paying now. Cheers.

How 'bout that silver lining, huh? Turn that frown upside down, b*tch.

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By the way, the astericks and dollar signs are in no way suposed to infer that I've gone prude on you or found god or anything ... I read that profanity can get negative attention on this, ahem, "family site" and so I'm being savvy. Eh?

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