Crazy 4 days In Samed

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Did I learn my lesson from drinking too much thai whiskey...,hell no. I proceeded to have a crazy few days on the island. And it was great, the only thing i did was go on a snorkelling trip around some islands on one of the days. But my time pretty much consisted of sleeping till late, eating lots, watching lots of comedy during the day then getting pissed at night. We went to a reggae bar one night before id even ordered a drink a crazy thai/hippy/rasta guy asked me if i wanted to buy some mara-ju-ana. Errr 'no thanks' but we had a good night with some crazy guys from kuwait and listening to the surprisingly good rasta/thai/hippy 'sunflower band'. Funniest bit was one of them trying to sing Bob Marley Iron, Lion, Zion he did many combinations of the three words.

Zion like a Iron in Lion
Lion like a zion in iron

You get the picture but it was funny!

There was me and two german guys I met Chris and Philip and another guy... a white indian. Yes a white indian with blue eyes- very very wierd, Bobby his name is. And Bobby is a better binge drinker than i am... or worse however you want to look at it and he's white and an indian... try getting your head around that when your smashed! But Bobby introduced me to some great comedians Kevin Hart and the funniest was Gabrielle Iglesias... we were all sat in the bar bit of the hostel pissing ourselves. Then me and Bobby had half a day watching the series Lie to me... very very good.

For the final night after watching a few films. Well one cos i fell asleep 5 mins in to the second one Kung fu panda. I had an early night... no booze no nothing and in the morning i woke up with a massive swollen eye, i couldnt even open it it was gross! But it seemed to have gone down afetr i put ice on it. In pattaya today though i have woke up and the swelling is under my eye!!! crazy shit.

Any how after wasting much time getting pissed on a tropical island myself and bobby (chris got out and went to ko chang the day before and Philip went ages ago) decided we had to go... Bobby should have gone on Monday because he works in Bangkok but there ya go. So we got the ferry and he went off to Bangkok and I came to Pattaya to see what it was all about and iv seen it and i hate it. There are numberous 'Red lion' pubs and all that shit and many many old fat bald brits and assorted other white people with 20 yr old thai prostitutes. It's really really sad. And I find myself walking down the street trying to figure out if the women are women or if the are/ were men. Its crazy! Theres a really sweet man or so i thought in a room near me he's like in his mid 60's sandals and socks type glasses bald on top this morning when i went downstairs there were 3 thai girls walking out his room... THREE!!! This place really is a disgrace ha ha my balcony overlooks 'honey massage' which i think is a reasonably high class brothel and i did find it entertaining looking at the comings and goings for a while. Last night i went to tiffanys which is the most famous ladyboy caberet and reccomendation from the german guy chris. I cant say i wasnt entertained because i actually was but god damn some of those 'girls' are absolutely stunning. You really would never know. They were wearing the tiniest bikinis and honestly you wouldnt have a clue apart from most had no arse, some still had adams apples and some had big hands! But many of them were beautiful... it must be a real thing that disorder where you were born as the wrong sex because i tell you they were women through and through. I feel sorry for any man trying to tell the difference and i see how mistakes happen ha ha. Im off now to get out of this shit hole!

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