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Published: October 4th 2005
Crazy
Remember that movie where Vanilla Ice rode around on a motorcycle and tried to hook up with some girl on a horse? Im not that cool.We were planning to stay in Ko Samet for three days. On our third day Dow, one of the workers at our hotel, invited us to go see the island with him tomorrow. He said that we would rent a motorbike in the afternoon and drive to the most beautiful spots and stop at a wonderful vista to watch the sunset. I told him that I had never driven a motorbike before and he assured me that it would not be a problem. He said that I would have to be careful because I would have Emily on the back. Honestly, the prospect of driving a motorcycle for the first time, in a land where everything I ever learned about driving and the rules of the road was backwards with Em on the back made me a little nervous at first. But figuring that he wouldn’t have suggested it unless it was relatively safe, I agreed and went and rented a bike.
I paid the princely sum of 400 (US $10) baht to rent the bike for 24 hours. I would have only had to pay 300 baht if I would have gone with a manual transmission
Beautiful Beaches
This is the rainy season in Thailand. Pity me. bike, but I thought that I would have an easier time with the automatic, so I coughed up the extra two and a half bucks. What I didn’t know at this time was that the island roads that we were going on were not like the one from the port to the hotels. There was no pavement, there was no maintenance, there were no lanes or shoulders or markers or anything that we usually identify with roads. Instead there were giant craters in the road, huge rocks sticking out of the washed out dirt roads. There were parts of the road that were all sand and parts of the road that were impassible even to the toughest 4-wheel drive trucks. Because it was my first time I was expecting a mild ride on smooth roads to get used to the bike, what I got was a hell-ride down steep hills with jagged rocks, crazy drivers, and terrain that makes most motor-cross courses look like the bunny hill at Afton Alps.
To say that taking this course as my first experience on a bike was wildly inappropriate is a huge understatement, when you consider that I was supposed to do
waves
Em and Michelle played in the waves while I chatted with Dow. Little did I know he was planning to kill me all along by taking me on those deadly trails. it with Emily on the back it changes from wildly inappropriate to shamefully reckless. Of course I had no idea about any of this at the time. I was still under the impression that we were just going out for a little Sunday drive type adventure, not Evil Knevil’s last stand.
So I rented the bike, they told me almost nothing about how to work it. In a Thai-English mixture they showed me that the levers were for braking and the handle was for gas. They didn’t tell me that when I have someone on the back, using the front brake causes the back tire to swing around, which I wasn’t told until nearly the end of our adventure.
Watching me try to take the bike out for the first time was hilarious. I was like a drunken six year old, weaving back and forth, accelerating and braking at the same time, almost crashing into things. I did a lap or two on the road and then went back to pick up Michelle and head over to the next beach, where we were meeting Dow. Emily had decided to walk, rather than trying to fit a third person on the
leaf
Even the leaves are more interesting in Thailand. Every leaf on this kind of tree had a unique design. bike (note: It is not uncommon to see 4 Thais on one scooter. Whole families routinely fit onto one bike).
So Michelle hopped on the back, and we wobbled our way over to the next beach. The road was narrow and full of craters that I had to swerve the bike around, but I felt I was starting to get the hang of things.
So we met Dow at the Naga resort and we were off. Emily hopped on the back of my bike while Michelle hopped on Dow’s. Dow’s bike was a much different model of bike than mine. It was an older yellow and white dirt bike with a manual transmission. It was taller and more rugged looking than my neon green scooter, which looked like a Vespa but with smaller wheels. I would soon wish that my bike was more rugged.
So we headed out, down a small dirt road, with big potholes. Emily sat on the back, and I could tell that, much like me, she was a bit nervous. Rightfully so, this was my first time on a bike and the road was a little scary to begin with. Little did we know this was
rocks
The road we travelled was slightly more difficult to drive on than these rocks. nothing.
As we headed out of Down the roads seemed alright. There were some steeper hills to climb and head down, with medium sized rocks and a few ruts carving down them, but I stayed focused on the road while Emily recited Hail Mary and things were going okay. We headed down a steep dirt road and tried to stay on top of a rocky ridge between ruts that were carved out from the monsoon rains. This was my first difficult road and it seemed manageable. We slowly descended to a small parking area and turned off the bikes. Phew! We had made it to our first destination.
The view was incredible. The waves were huge, the ocean a deep turquoise and the sky a brilliant blue. Lush tropical hillsides surrounded this little beach sanctuary. I stopped to take a few pictures and then we all headed down to the beach.
On the beach was an expensive resort. It was extraordinarily clean and quite, which was not necessarily true of the more reasonably priced resorts on the main part of the island. The air was very fresh and unlike the area where we were staying there was no obnoxious European
sunset
Either these rocks are very big or Michelle has become very small. dance music blaring from the numerous bars and restaurants that lined the beach. Dow informed us that the immaculate bungalows on this part of the island went for 10,000 baht per night (US $250). All I could think was “who the hell would pay $250 per night for a place to stay in Thailand?” Our resort was already a little bit on the pricey side at $20 per night, but then again it was in a touristy area where everything was more expensive.
The waves at this particular spot were huge and inviting. Emily and Michelle went and frolicked in the water while I took pictures and sat and chatted with Dow. Dow spoke English well but had one of the thickest accents that I had ever encountered. His was not the usual Thai accent, but a strange mixture of British and Australian dialects. At times this made communication difficult. From our conversation I learned that he had been living and working on Ko Samet for 12 years now and enjoyed being there quite a bit. He hoped to someday move to Copenhagen, and to go to one of the giant raves in the UK if he could ever manage to save up enough money. But for now he was content to live and work on the island and spend his free days riding around on his bike with Farangs (Thai term for foreigners).
After Emily and Michelle had thoroughly drenched themselves and I had taken some pictures we walked back up to the parking pad and got back on the bikes. Emily was soaked and soon my back was too as she clung to me while we rode up the rocky hill. We took a left at the intersection and continued on to our next destination.
The next leg of our trip the roads went from bad to worse. We drove up and down hills with huge jagged boulders jutting out of the road and narrow, rocky ridges next to foot deep trenches that threatened to break the wheels and bones of any motorcyclist unfortunate enough to slip into one. This was where our first disaster happened.
We were heading down one such road, slowly descending on a bumpy ridge, as the road wound to the left. The thick jungle foliage and the curve in the road meant that there was very little in terms of visibility, and the narrowness of the path meant that there was barely room for one vehicle. As I was slowly rounding the bend, a large white pickup truck came charging up the hill at us, bouncing wildly as tires rolled over axle-busting rocks and bumps. It was clear that the truck had no intention of sharing the road or slowing down, as any decrease in speed would likely make it impossible for the vehicle to make it up the hill.
I quickly headed toward the left side of the road, trying frantically to get out of the way of this oncoming beast. As we rapidly veered to the left I hit the front brake to slow us from crashing into the jungle, this caused the back wheel to swing around and into the rut. Crashing into the rut made the bike instantly stop and our weight was thrown forward. We lurched forward from the force and my hand was trapped on the throttle, causing the bike to accelerate rapidly into the side of the hill. The bike tipped over onto us and my hand was still pinned.
Emily quickly escaped from under the bike and with her weight no longer pushing me forward I was able to take my hand off the throttle. The bike sputtered to a stop. Dow and Michelle pulled over and raced up the hill on foot to make sure we were alright.
We were. Emily’s leg had been burned by the muffler and her big toe had been cut on the rocks. My legs were a bit scratched up from the rocks on the road, but I was otherwise unharmed. I would later learn that I had actually sprained my wrist as well, but at the time my adrenalin and concern for Emily kept me from feeling any pain.
While physically I was relatively unharmed, emotionally I felt awful. The second degree burn on Emily’s leg made me feel the kind of pain that you only get when you accidentally hurt a loved one. We were both shaken and were a little apprehensive when getting back on the bike. Both of us wondered how many more roads were going to be like this one and how long it would be before we crashed again.
It was now painfully clear that Dow either had no concept of what it was like to ride a bike on these paths for the first time or he had not given adequate thought to the danger this would pose for us. It is difficult to rely on others so heavily in a foreign country. By and large, our trust had been well placed. This time that did not seem to be the case.
Emily walked down the rest of the hill as I slowly rode between ruts down to the bottom. She hopped back on the bike and we continued on, praying that the worst was over. We rode for a few hundred meters more when we were once again faced with an impossible looking hill. As we started up the hill we did not have adequate speed to get both of us up the treacherous incline. As we headed up the road we bounced off a large rock and the back tire once again slipped into a colossal rut. Emily hopped off the bike as it tipped into the crevice. This was too much.
Emily was shaken, and so was I. She didn’t want to get back on the bike and if it weren’t for the fact that we were several miles from where we were staying and the sun was quickly setting, I wouldn’t have gotten back on the bike either. She walked up the hill as I tried to get the bike out of the rut and up the hill. It was so steep and rocky that I thought I was going to have to roll the bike to the bottom of the hill and come at it with a running start in order to make it all the way to the top. With considerable effort I finally got the bike unstuck and to the top of the hill. We rested for a few moments and caught our breath. I was feeling very concerned for Emily’s safety, not to mention my own, and was beginning to feel pissed that our guide had thought this an appropriate trail to learn to cycle on.
After Emily walked for a ways and I slowly puttered along next to her, she agreed to get on the back of Dow’s bike as this option seemed significantly safer than continuing on the back of mine. We headed down more treacherous trails with Em and Michelle on the back of Dow’s bike and me on the scuffed up little green bike. Finally after descending a long, steep hill we were at our next destination. This next place was an even more immaculate resort than the last one. The rooms here went for US $250-500 per night and you could see why. Each quite little bungalow (more like a small house really) had its own patio, and yard. They were all right next to the beach and very well kept. There was a restaurant where the waitresses wore traditional Thai garb and there were giant patios looking out over the ocean. They were in the process of building private swimming pools for each bungalow and a giant terraced one out in front of the restaurant. To me, it seemed utterly retarded to build swimming pools 250 feet from ocean. The ocean was so beautiful and warm here that I can think of no better place to swim. But then again, many of the things that rich people like are completely devoid of pragmatism.
So Emily and Michelle went and waded in the ocean. The waves were calmer here and the cool ocean water helped to cool the burn on Emily’s leg. I took some pictures and then went and made it clear to Dow that our next stop needed to be home.
After our little break on the beach that seemed typically reserved for royalty, we headed back to the bikes. Em and Michelle walked up the long hill leading to the resort, while Dow and I drove our bikes up it. The hill was steep enough that not even Dow, an expert rider, could have made it up the hill with someone on the back. The rich people don’t have to deal with these hellish roads, as they are brought to the resort by speedboat. Only the locals and a few daredevil tourists ever gamble their lives on these ill-kept trails.
At the top of the hill the girls hoped back on the bike and I followed behind them, feeling utterly exhausted. We made one stop on the way back at a scenic overlook on some bare rocks. The huge waves crashed against the rocks 50 feet below us as we stared across the ocean towards what would have been an unforgettable sunset, if dark storm clouds had not been gathering in the sky. Fearing a storm and acutely aware of the darkness closing in on us, we got back on the bikes and headed back towards town. We followed the same hellish road back to town, down the same pernicious hills we had just recently sped up. The light faded as the clouds moved in and the sun rapidly moved below the horizon.
By this point I was completely spent. I focused intensely on the road in front of me. Every bit of my attention was consumed by the jagged rocks that promised to crush my bones and my concern over Emily’s well being as she clung to Michelle on the back of Dow’s bike.
We made it back to town just as the very last bit of daylight vanished. Thankfully there were no more crashes or falls. Dow dropped the girls off by where our journey had started and they walked back along the beach to our room to get washed up before we headed out for dinner. I drove the bike down the little dirt road in the dark and parked it by our hotel. The mile ride to the hotel, which had seemed difficult before now felt like a cakewalk. I suspected that almost any road I would ever surmount on a motorcycle would be a cakewalk compared to our journey that day.
When I finally got off the bike I felt like I was going to collapse. All of my physical and mental energy had been spent. I would have felt anger towards Dow if I would have had enough energy for it. Instead all I wanted to do was get back to the hotel room and hold Emily.
We met up back at the room and breathed a collective sigh of relief. Emily told me that she had felt just as terrified on the back of Dow’s bike as mine and I apologized for crashing the bike and hurting her. She comforted me and we sat there on the bed quietly as Michelle got ready for dinner.
Dinner that night was uneventful. We were all too traumatized by the adventure that day to talk at first. A little food and a couple of beers helped revitalize our weary bodies and the conversation along with it. We bought Dow dinner as a thank you for showing us around, although I was still feeling irritated that he had not warned us of the perilous roads. After dinner we headed over to Silver Sand resort and had another drink while playing some Thai pool. We stayed until about midnight, thanked Dow for showing us around, and then walked back along the beach to our hotel. That night we slept poorly, as our minds were still consumed with thoughts of our mortality brought on by our tour around the island.
When I had gotten on the bike early that afternoon I could never have imagined the adventure that awaited us. When we left for Thailand we were ready for some adventures, although, this wasn’t what we had in mind. I don’t think I will be renting any more motor bikes for a long while. So when you look at all the beautiful images posted with this, keep in mind that we risked our lives to get them.
Computer Update: Well, I took the computer to the airport to file my insurance claim, as instructed by United Airlines. They told me that there was nothing they could do as they dont cover damage to bagage unless you buy some premium insurance. I told them that the person who had checked my bags had told me otherwise and that the little baggage claim ticket that I had even stated that I could seek reimbursment for damaged goods. They said that was only true for clothes and toothbrushes, and did not cover electronics, cameras or anything else of value. I was feeling a little upset at this point, but managed to keep my composure. In Thailand losing your composure is about the worst thing that you can do. We talked a while longer with both me and Suthep trying to get them to allow us to file a claim to no avail. They would not budge. May they burn in hell! So we drove home and I did my best to repair the computer. All in all I did a pretty good job. It is operational again, although some parts could not be salvaged and all the data on one of my hard drives was lost (not to mention the drive itself. I may still try to file a claim with my travelers insurance, although i wonder what kind of conditions they likely have in their policy ensuring that no one can ever actually file a claim. Thank you to all of you who offered support and to send me programs. Thankfully, Thailand is the land of deeply discounted copies of software. If you need it, they have it, and it costs less than $3. So I am back in business for now.
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HEY! Good god you guys, have fun but come back alive okay? That was scary to read. Glad you are still alive and well. So, this is the first travelblog I've received. I wonder if my wonderful gov't mail account is blocking all non-residential email now...blah. So, do me a favor and eat a bunch of fruit and those little bit size bananas for me while you're there. I'm so jealous. If I went to Thailand I would leave the house with a 5 gallon trash bag once a day, fill it with fresh fruit and then sit on the beach on eat until I puked...oops, sorry. public blog. John, I'm really liking the pics. The beach shot of Em and Michelle is beautiful. Protect your wrists so you can still hold the camera, k?