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Published: October 26th 2006
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"We" consist of Muti, also known as The Human In Need of a Sunflower Seed Intervention but if I put HINOSSI, no would know what I was going on about, unless you're like me and spend too much time decoding acronyms. Sodahead, muti's friend. He's apparently knowledgeable in everything but that's up for debate. And me.
9 hour flight to Japan +3 hour wait in Japan airport + 6 hour flight to Bangkok = "hi my name is aggravated and tired."
Upon stepping out of the airport I was shocked.
It is bloody hot. The air has the humidity of a steam room and the stench of fried
eggs. It took me several hours to adjust to it and it's still jarring when you leave the comfort of an air conditioned room to
venture into the stifling heat. When on the streets, the locals constantly gawk at you as though you were a model or celebrity. If you're a white
female heads will turn. I've been called beautiful by an "exotic dancer" (note my political correctness) which must
account for something, no?
The only other thing people love here more than white people is
food. The only other
thing people love here more than white people is food. Woah, deja vu. Every few steps you will find street vendors selling food that range from semi recognizable items such as fruits, vegetables, varied forms of fried food, and things that resemble chicken, to items that I've been carefully avoiding such as roasted insects, bizzare fish, and mystery
meat. This city is packed with all the activities you would ever want to do and all the entertainment you would ever need. On a single block you could get married, divorced, sleep at a hotel, and buy a faux Gucci bag.
One of these I'm striving to accomplish.
If you're going to take a taxi you may want to get life insurance before stepping into one. Or so goes Muti's theory. I quite enjoy the thrill of driving into oncoming rush hour traffic. Lane divisions, speed limits, and turning signals are completely irrelevant here. The only thing you're going to accomplish by following them is getting yourself killed.
"Miaow ka," meaning "no want" is the phrase I've had the most practice using. If you travel
into one of the major markets such as Pat
Pong, locals left and right are begging you to eat this, go there, buy that. It can get
extremely annoying after a while, therefore I'm learning the phrase for "piss off."
Also, to my amusement Sodahead is astounding me with his knowledge of the local language, apparently he has some useful grey matter after all. Oh joy.
Yesterday we all had a very early start. Six thirty early start. I experienced more than mild horror when I discovered a cockroach by the side of my bed and even more horror when I found one on the shower curtain. Girly shrieks of terror ensued both instances.
Our plan for the day was to visit the Grand Palace which holds an enormous quanitity of the king and queen's treasures, as well as multiple jewel encrusted temples, halls, and murals. And
a lot of tourists. The Grand Palace complex was established in 1782 and it houses not only the royal residence and throne halls, but also a number of government offices as well as the renowned Temple of the Emerald Buddha. It covers an area of 218, 000 square metres and is surrounded by four walls, 1900 metres
in length. The two earliest structures within the complex are the Dusit Maha Prasat Throne Hall, and the Phra Maha Monthian. The Phra Maha Monthian Group consists of three main buildings, the Audience Hall of the Amarindra Winitcha. the Paisal Taksin Hall, and the Chakraphat Phiman Hall. The living apartments of the buildings are enteredby mounting a series of steps into a hallway. To the left of the hallway is the royal bedchamber, to the right is the reception chamber which now houses the royal regalia and the accountrements of the kingship.
One of the other portions of the Palace we visited was the Upper Terrace. There are statues of elephants and mythical beings scattered around the terrace. The models of the elephants are a record of the famous white elephants acquired during the reigns of the various kings of Thailand.
Wow. If you've read this far I'm obligated to continue.
Although the palace was oh-so-thrilling to a certain extent, the real excitement was the journey there. We arrived at the boat pier and came upon a slight setback. There was a flood. The walkway which would normally take you to the dock was completely underwater.
Local men were setting sandbags down in a manner that was anything but rushed.
Daintily leaping from sandbag to sandbag like frogs on lilypads,
not, the shoes, yes
the shoes drowned. A single current washed over them and they were soaked. Not a good thing when
the shoes are made of canvas.
I was not impressed.
My worst fears have also been confirmed.
I have the beginning of a tan.
I want to cry.
Aboard the ferry I realized that the water was definately far from turquoise purity, although I did spot a fish leaping out of the water. Trying to commit suicide obviously. If I lived in that water that would be the first thing on my mind.
And to top off the night guess what Sodahead and I saw on the way back to the hotel? If you were thinking girlie boys, that's not the right answer. But we did see some. We saw a little, scratch that, big baby elephant! Simply being led down the streets of Bangkok! I decided I want one. I will name him Peanut.
I apologize for the somewhat blunt conclusion. I just honestly can't think of
an ending because things keep constantly happening. So, until next time?
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