Bangkok baby...

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Up and out of the hotel for 8am, metro train is bound for the airport and Bangkok, looking forward to Thailand as I have not been here for around 10 years. Nearly nailed the train but went one stop too far in the airport – I don’t agree its my fault because the signs are confusing (that’s what I am sticking to!). Yet to have breakfast as I decided against the traditional Subway salads of the past few days, mainly because McDonalds is here and it is traveling law (in my book) to have a MacD’s (any excuse!) and I blow away any goodness gained from salads as I have pancakes and a big breakfast.
Seriously I really can’t drink caffeine because it makes me twitch like I have Tourette’s and this is not good when you face check in and immigration, maybe I did it on purpose so they would think I am a drug mule and offer up a cavity search (unlucky rubber ducky because I didn’t get one).

Boarded and buckled up now and as the plane crosses Kuala Lumpur you can really see how beautifully blended his tropical green landscape and skyscrapers is. Really pretty place here! (don’t panic Kel, I have no intentions of emigrating for Equation Kuala). There are elements of this place that would certainly be a great place to live, maybe it’s the small town boy caught like a rabbit in the headlights?!
I’m finding myself reflecting on my misconceptions of the Muslim religion elements that I learned from Ali, I didn’t think I was prejudice, however I somehow think all the negative media has subtly entered my subconscious and make me feel bad towards it in some way because consciously I am not like that at all... I believe I will need to research and reflect on this because true knowledge is power and sets you free… I so don’t want to be The Sun or Daily Mail mentality - not that I am but I want to distance myself from the influence this had on me for many years growing up (I now don’t read any newspapers and avidly avoid the news channels). I find it fascinating how Judaism, Hindu, Christianity, Buddhism, Sikh and Muslim all kind of splinter off from one to another, taking part of the story, adapting it and rolling it forwards in their own way. Anyway I think have digressed. The good thing is as I think on this I’m eroding some barriers in my mind and opening up more (the whole point of this trip!)

They have a cool system across here I think we could adopt, in that the toilets sometimes have a communal sink to wash your hands outside the physical toilets. You would be out in the open for all to see if you don’t wash your hands. I HATE people that don’t wash their hands – dirty pigs, If I wanted part of your genitals I’d ask for a go, however I didn’t so wash those filthy mits!! Lol

Arrive in Bangkok airport and try to connect to the free Wi-Fi, seriously dumb arse system. You try to connect and when you login it says check your email to receive confirmation code. Er, hello, if I had internet I wouldn’t be connecting – seriously backwards system!
Trek all the way to my very first hostel via the trains and I realise quite how filthy my mind is. The end of the train line destination is over every sign in my direction, this way To Bang Sue, come on, seriously…! Also pass a shop called Porn Tips (no it wasn’t a massage parlour before you ask).

Get to my hostel and the staff are as helpful as tits on a bull, no hang on maybe that would be useful as you could milk bulls too, oh actually you probably could milk a bull without tits but you wouldn’t want to drink that – bleurgh. Seriously need to lose some baggage because lugging this pack and roll on case is making me sweat like a fat man chasing a dunkin donut a half mile.
Hostel is nice but no buzz about the place at all, I say hi and people are not dismissive but not open to general conversation and stuck in their own worlds, maybe I built an incorrect picture of this place in my mine before I arrived?!
Bags down and go for a wonder around, a guy on the apps recommended a place called the MKB centre for shopping and cash etc. so I walked the mile to it. Its an ok place but imagine 1500 market stalls squashed into a building with no windows or natural light (imagine working in such an unnatural place!) and the most confusing set of signs you have ever seen in a labyrinth of vendors trying to flog you an instant make suit, crappy t-shirts or other various junk bits. Still its not too bad because its Chinese new year and outside has a market that makes/sells fresh Pad Thai noodles and all kinds of BBQ meats. and yes I partake.

Whilst shopping I make a new friend on the app and he says come over for a drink, so I trotted over and arrived at his building in scruffy day wear and his building is one of those reception security guarded skyscraper complex’s, so when I arrive I feel like a sore thumb in this beautiful apartment located within central Bangkok (you can imagine it, terrace view on floor 26, impeccably decorated and stocked with the expensive booze – this is what I imagine the high gay scene to live like!). Anyway, sit chatting/drinking and he’s a really a nice guy, a few of his friends come over and we drink, laugh and chat some more. We decide to hit the town and get an Uber (my new staple!) into town and I get my ticket paid to enter (thanks buddy) into this new gay roof top party that only has the good drinks (Ciroc vodka all the way baby) and end up getting trashed dancing to tunes and watching a couple of drag artists whilst overlooking the beautiful Bangkok night landscape. This place is truly beautiful all lit up of an evening…

Felling quite pissed now as I wonder (well stagger) home to my not quite so posh Hostel. I had a great time but you get the feeling the scene here is all meat and no long term meets, don’t get me wrong maybe I have an incorrect vantage of it right now, but it feels like it would be very people disposable. Maybe the big city has its downsides. Apps work in feet here not miles like back home and it does somehow make you more dismissive based on looks and characteristics than a chat first. Hmm, maybe the big bright lights has a major flaw after all! The honey trap wont capture me lol… Although I shouldn’t feel like this because I met Ali in Kuala Lumpur and connected there, so I a little conflicted in my mind.

Wake up with a tiny hangover and think to myself that maybe it’s because I drank premium Vodka drinks all evening and they don’t have quite the same after effects. I mean I drank enough to warrant a fairly nasty hangover, but here I am with a little one. Hmmm, I’m switching my tipple to Ciroc right here right now!.

Off for a wonder and find an amazing salad bar & Tesco Lotus near my place (see this place is not so bad after all…) and have a healthy detox breakfast before going to my first Bangkok tourist venue, Wat Pho on foot.

The universe works in weird and wonderful ways because I got a strange set of thoughts about India and the people I met there and how I was here on my own now. What happens next, but I get a message from Swiss Michelle saying she just saw me on the street as she passed in her Taxi. We arranged to meet up later that evening and I can’t believe the randomness of what just happed as we are nearly 2000km from where we said our goodbyes a few days ago and by chance she saw me in her taxi window.

Wondered around the reclining Buddha complex and was actively mindful of being in this moment because meditation classes are from Kadampa Buddhism. The complex is stunning, row after row of beautifully coloured tapering towers, 390 Buddha statues in black and gold, ornately decorated buildings and a 60m long gold reclining Buddha. I sat in one of the temples and mediated on how lucky I am to be part of this special journey. Truly a wonderful peaceful moment, until I got cramp and stretched out my leg and got told off for showing Buddha my feet (Seriously I have cramp FFS!).

Walk back to the shopping centre for Pad Thai and BBQ meats – yummy, I am so loving this part of the city! Met Michelle at the train station and we walked back to my hostel so I could grab a quick shower and get ready for drinks in town.

Ready and were off to the Hot Boy street, sit down and have 2 1l jugs of beer and skol them back (Skol is the Norwegian way of saying cheers, I learned this Viking saying from the lovely girls in India). Then we opt for a beer tower and this literal tower of beer and its own tap arrive on our table. I have two Thai boys trying to drape themselves on me, apparently I’m a big strong man -blah blah blah.. whatever, I don’t do little boys!! So we drink and have many laughs in the street and right now I feel amazing because here I am in the middle of a new(ish)) to me city with a friend, drinking beer, having an absolute ball on the hot boy streets of Bangkok. I’m going to regret this tomorrow lol
We opt for a bit of a naughty show and are shepherded into the top part of the building. Well, first impression is exactly what you think naughty Bangkok is all about lol. Centre stage there are about 30 fit men, I mean FIT, toned, hot and very delectable nibbles in every bite. Shell and I argue who is the fittest and we settle on sexy 22… Apparently you pick the number, he sits with you for a drink or two and then you get a room – erm, no whist I’m sure this is perfectly normal here I don’t buy cock meat to eat! Only beef, pork and chicken purchases for me here!!! NO matter how tempting it is and boy, its really, really tempting let me tell you! I feel a great sense of empathy for the hotties parading on stage because they are basically up for sale and some of them do look awkward, I almost want to buy some of them drinks to make them feel better (that’s the reason and I’m sticking to it right!! Lol) .

We meet a group of guys and I take a shine to one of them until were introduced and his name was the same as my ex. FFS I already had one little but big dick and the thought of saying that name in the heat of a moment is a step too far for me – number 22 now seems appealing because this place makes you randier than a spring rabbit in heat.
Anywho, the stage is cleared and the show begins. Now you’re not supposed to take pics or film but I think bugger it and sneak a Facebook live session… which worked well until the security staff came over with torches and gave us a bollocking. Quick double click and swiping on my part meant I shut down Facebook and opened the images of the days reclining Buddha so I was able to convince him I was researching what to do tomorrow… haha, Shell got her pone confiscated and erased, my evidence now sits on my Facebook profile lol There as lots of soap, oil, rubbing and gyrating of hot men in the show and at the end they al came out with stonking hard cocks (some of them were frickin huge which I thought was not a possibility in Thai man).
Great show and time to go home, Shell went back to her hotel and I found myself in a rather buff aussies hotel – enough said! This is what Bangkok is all about right here. I got my Bangkok baby…

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