Bangkok- The Ping Pong Experience

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When in Paris, one must go see the Eiffel Tower. Similarly, when in Amsterdam, one must try the locals' brownies. The list goes on for must-sees at destinations around the world; some are on the list of world wonders and some are just for kicks. Well, we were in Bangkok, and the infamous *ping pong show* (for kicks) was calling us.

***As a word of caution, this post has no pictures for a reason. And as a disclaimer, I am in no way endorsing what goes on here, and actually strongly encourage it not to be pursued. Sometime, it is OK to not see the Eiffel Tower. ***

Shortly after Amy & Ann arrived at our hotel, the 4 of us called a cab and got dropped off at Khaosan Road in search of the *show.* Khaosan Rd turned out to be a jumping backpacker hotspot, with the street lined with decked out, chaotically lit-up restaurants, bars, and clubs thumping with hip hop crossed with house. Possibly a great fun little spot to hang out for the night, but definitely not what we were looking for. We remembered the name incorrectly. We're supposed to be @ Patpong. Khaosan, patpong, ping pong...same difference. Darn the Thai language. Sadiki went browsing around for some info and came back to us with a flyer that had a set menu laid out: ping pong, flower, pussy...more pussy...more pussy. Uhh...eek. Yup. That's what we're looking for. We've read enough. Ok, if we're going to do it, now's the time! Darn curiosity.

Off we went searching for the flier guy and piled into a Tuk Tuk with him. We pulled up to a random dark alley and got led into the back entrance of a dark warehouse. Grandpa-look-a-like is half-sitting half-squatting with a young girl sitting in the same style around a table eating dinner. Another table opposite them was a dodgy mid 40's guy who rushed us in and said "500 baht, 500 baht, show starts soon!" "Uh, for patpong show?" we asked. "Yes, yes. Pussy ping pong show and free dinky for 500." "What?! What's dinky? We don't want dinky, just show." was our reaction as we started to bargain down the price for something we had no idea we were getting into. By this time, the place looked so sketch we were actually OK with leaving if he didn't accept our bargaining. Dinky turned out to be drinkie, as much as we were able to tell with the guy's hand motion. Dinky or drinkie, we didn't want it, and definitely not for 500 baht. The guy finally gave in and agreed with our bargained price at ~250 baht. We follow dodgy guy into the backroom which turned out to be an entrance to a bigger room that's set up similar to a strip club.

The room was nice and stuffy, with cigarette smoke emanating the air. There was a mini centerstage equipped with a stripper pole and a Thai girl swinging around it, completely naked and bored. The stage was surrounded on the 3 sides by 3-4 rows of chairs on each. Before we could find our seats, the girl on stage started pulling fabric flowers linked together on a string out of her...from under. And before we could grasp what was happening, she started lighting things on fire...from under. Next, a naked, 50-something-'girl' came out with a birthday cake lit up with candles, followed by another girl who got on stage. She, also bored, mechanically inserted a tube...under...and blew out the birthday candles one by one, with loopy Happy Birthday music playing in the background. Next up was the birthday balloons. Same girl now with mini darts inserted...under...put out the balloons one by one. Nice Aim? Two mid-20 guys front row on our right sat totally entranced, drooling, and possibly thoroughly turned on. More girls came on stage and more things were being pulled from under- series of items strung together that kept on coming out. The ping pong ball performance came next, with buckets given to the audience and off the balls were launched...from under...and into the buckets. Finally, one last girl came on stage, pulling another string of items attached. What seemed to be flat metallic strips turned out to be a series of razors. To prove they're real, another girl came on stage with several pieces of paper, and they were shredded right there and then with the very razors that just came out...from under. Ended with some cigar puffs...from under.

We left the place speechless and overcome with a feeling of...dirty. The place, the show, the people operating it, the society that lets the show go on. Complete mess.

The whole thing was just sad. The girls were thoroughly bored and carried on so mechanically through the entire thing. How long had 50-something grandma been doing this? The whole thing was like a circus show, but with female mutilation as entertainment of the night. The worst thing about it all? It didn't seem like any big deal to the people. Grandpa and grandaughter were just enjoying dinner out in the front. Ok, so I've heard about Thailand's big Sex Tourism business. I've seen the Lady Boys and the WhiteThai's. But this topped it all.

Nightlife Day #2 in Bangkok was a dark night.

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