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Published: January 14th 2006
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Well, on the 7th we arrived in this great nation's capital at 6am on an overnight bus from Krabi. "Super VIP" obviously means something different in Thai - perhaps "five changes of bus, not allowed to recline your seat because of luggage piled up behind you and plunged into pitch black with no option of a reading at 8 pm", We really should get an up-to-date phrase book.
We've been staying in a hostel dorm run by an Aussi who calls himself Big John in the East part of town. Bangkok is bloody massive! I don't why that came as such a suprise to us, London is not exactly a fishing village, but it has been taking us forever to get from one side of town to the other. We ride the sky train when we can but it does not cover much of the city and does not go within 4 km of the "old town", where all the tourist spots are.
Our first day was spent trying to stay awake after the bus ride so as not to end up with a jet lag of sorts. We headed to the Chatuchak weekend market, more for the spectacle
than for the shopping. This really is the place to get ANYTHING. Clothes (new and used), furniture (some exellent quality, some questionable), food (same), and most of the animals that walk god's earth. The best animals are the ones with "No Foto" on a big sign overhead. This is because they are illegally being sold - probably endagered or just too venomous for little timmy's birthday. We bought nothing, just gauped.
The afternoon was spent exploring the Mae Nam Chao Phraya, the river that Bangkok is built around. We chartered a funny yellow little boat driven by a geriatric to take us up the river and down some of the narrow canals that the inhabitants of the city live upon. This was a truly amazing side of Bangkok to see. The tumble-down wooden shacks and cheerful kids diving into the water give a totaly different impression of the city to that which meets the hoards on Kao San Road / Patpong, it is so peaceful. We eventually came to a snake farm. Lara had made me promise never to take her to another snake farm after Georgetown but she was not difficult to persuade when she saw the "cobra
show" sign swinging over the entrance (which was, incidentally, only accessable by boat). The main attraction here is the demonstration and milking of cobras, vipers and pythons who strike at the handlers, luckly they had mongoose-like relexes and narrowly escaped death each time. The audience was invited to join in the fun by holding the snakes and, after witnessing the blatent disregard for saftey, Michael obliged. Lara, having come down from her position on the roof of the building opposite decided to enjoy the gentler aspects of snake farm and cuddle the baby gibbon. I never knew this girl / my wife could scream so much before we went on this trip!
The next day was spent doing the major tourist highlights in and around the city. The Grand Palace, Wat Phra Kaew and Wat Pho. This area is a veritable Vatican City of Thai Budhism with some of the countries most honoured and holy sites. Imagine us turning up in cargo shorts, grubby t-shirts and Lara in a denim mini and strappy top. Armed guards (of sorts) immediatly shepherded us to a dressing room to be loned long sleeved tops and trousers! Free to move around without causing
offence we took in Wat Phra Kaew, which houses the Emerald Buddha, a 12 inch tall green idol which has endured an epic journey around Thailand and Laos in its 600 year existance. At Wat Pho we saw Thailand's largest reclining Buddha (46m long) and the national head quarters of the Traditional Thai Massage School. Unfortunatly we did not have time to indulge in a massage. We headed instead for the famous backpacker strip of Kao San Road for the evening. This is a deepfried, neon party piece where westerners outnumber Thais and are generally drunk. Something to see. The most terrifying aspect of our visit (other than andrews hot towel toilet massage..see below) had to be out Tuk Tuk journey home that night at warp speed. Usually associated as pootling little bikes with cages on the back we broke some kind of speeding records there. White knuckle ride does not do it justice!
The World famous postcard that is the floating market at Damnoen Saduak proved to be one of the highlights of our time in Bangkok. By staying overnight in a nearby hotel we managed to beat the bus tours from the centre of town and see
just a little more of an authentic view, with some of the ladies in straw hats selling colourful fruits and vegetables still lingering, gossipping and taking breakfast along the waterway. They do not hang around long, however, and we soon found ourselves beset on all sides by souvenir hawkers. I imagine that we would have had to get up very early, maybe 20 years ago, to see this floating market in all its glory but it is still an incredibly impressive sight to behold.
We also managed to take in China town and yes, as the blog title says we snuck off to patpong and saw the go-go girls. Mums - you had better delete the next bit before sending to the grannies (and maybe avert your eyes if poss) Met Boys - you would love it! Although it has calmed down a lot we saw ping pong balls, razor blades and coke all coming out of orifices most girls only show the toilet bowl. We all squirmed appropriately, although lara looked fascinated by the science of it all. As we entered "Superpussy" we were immediately flanked by people in bikinis. I say people because it was hard to
tell who was who. After being charged extortionate amounts for drinks the "show" began. I think it is best if we give you the specifics in person - there may be children reading this. However, the highlight of the evening was watching Andrew pay off a bikini clad being of ambiguous gender to stop touching him....oh and did we mention the hot towel massage he got in the toilets?.....All very funny. Needless to say we appreciated the sadness that some of these girls are sold into the trade, no freedom blah blah blah for about five minutes because nothing can take away your breath quite like a being firing a dart from her/his fanny to pop some balloons overhead or "chuffing" out candles on a birthday cake. Oh....and none of us will ever drink coke in the same way again!
Bangkok was pretty cool. I think we were a little bit disappointed as it was not quite the noise deafening, pollution asphyxiating and heat stifling asian metropolis you would be led to believe. Maybe 10 years ago but the city is a lot like london now. Plus after Delhi, nothing will ever seem as mental again. Thank you Michael
for our final night of luxury in the Grand President Solitaire hotel - we got a bath!!
And so, when Lara and I left Bankok we had to say good-bye to Michael, who flew back to Blighty the same day. Thanks Mikes for a great 3 weeks - we will miss you! It was an emotional farewell and we are now a travelling twosome again. We still have a couple of bits and pieces to do in bangkok the next time we visit so will write more again soon. There will be more photos including the floating market to come, we just have not burnt the CD yet!
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