My Thailand Adventure....

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So a little background...
On a whim (like msot of my trips) I decided to join some other random students from Ball State, and a few adults too, to go to Thailand for 3 week sto teach English to college students. On top of this, I decided to take a mini trip to Cambodia....This is what ensued....

Ok...after 24 hours of travel, including a 2 hour plane ride, a 14 hour plane ride then a 5 hour plane ride (yes, you read that right....i atched 6 movies) i finally made it to thailand totally disoriented because it is a 12 hour time difference. meaning noon here, midnight by you. nuts. i am still slightly confused, but dealing. secondly, i got off the plane at midnight and it was 84 degress. i thought, not too bad. the next day we woke up and went to a temple or palace or something. humid as shit and around 100 degrees. what the fuck. i have never sweated so much in my life. like drenched. so fun. bangs matted to my forehead. has it gotten cooler? no. i jsut sweat and sweat and sweat and drink water, but never have to pee because i sweat out so much shit. speaking of shit,. i havent really shit in 4 days. goooo rice for every meal (even breakfast...not kidding. i think ive eaten beef twice already by mistake. ew)

the day we went to the palace we decided to go out that night ( in bangkok...like a legit city) i rode a tuk tuk a la americas next top model. so scary, but cool and breezy ha we went to some clubs and bars, i obvi got ridic drunk....everyone in the group fell in love with me blah blah blah story of my life. oh yeah, then i made out with a guy in the group from canada. luckily in front of no one. good first night beth. good. good. also, i petted a stary cat like sarah did which is supposed horrible and now i will die of some disease. tough shit. haha oh...and i made a verbal commitment to go to a ping pong show. and no, that does not involve a table and paddles. it involves a vagina and shooting things out of it and smoking a cigarette out of it. i am disgusted, yet ingtrigued. also, thais LOVE kareoke. i am listening to some crazy now who has sang for like 30 songs straight. shut up. also, i really had beer tears (or real tears?) because at 1 am i saw a lady with 2 small childen....one just able to stand up. and seriosuly like children out of africa. i could see every little rib etc. the thing was near death. meanwhile, people are apparently giving dogs enoguh scarps that they can take over the city. super.

oh yeah, after the palace we went to this rose garden. pretty flowers still a hundred bajillion fucking degress. = unhappy beth. still confused about time change. sweating. chaffing. you understnad. i walk around this rose garden, watch a cultural show about thailand and ride a fucking elephant. you heard me right. oh and things are really realy expensive here so it cost me $2.50 hhahahaha (ive styill managed to spend $100 in 3 days. no souvbeniers. whoops). I also watched an elehpahnt show and sat on an elephants leg. I got pictures. no worries. they will be facebooked once i get home. they have this water pit where the elphants bath and like snort up water and i saw some crazy thai lady slip and tumble into it. you can be assured that i laughed at her. i couldnt help it. im sorry. so after this day i went out and made out. go beth . haha oook next day (yesterday)

We get on the bus for a supposed 9 hour bus ride that takes SIXTEEN damn hours. we stop a few times for thai snacks as 7 elevens. but seriously. everything is fish or seaweed flavored so i puke a little (no really. im not dumb enough to eat that) and get a diet coke and a snickers. im so adventurous. I have eaten pad thai or fried rice for every meal. everything is really effing spicy. (linds...even i am sweating from the food. you would die. and i lieterally mean heart attack. keel over and die.) but they really do eat rice at every meal. they have friedn rice and soup and effing stir fry for breakfast and everyone loves it. they humor us and put out waffles and some strange cereal too. i laugh and eat a lovely mix of waffles, hash browns and sweat and sour chicken. mmm. not that many people hear speak english and if they do, it is very broken, so trying to figure out things on the menu prooves to be very hard. everyone is really fucking nice though. its awesome. go usa. they love us. probably because our tourism pays most of their bills.

so we get in last night and are htoe l (boohoo) is bungalows on the ebeach. (i lead such a rough life) its like midnight at this point so we jsut brush our teeth and go to sleep. wake up, walk to the breakfast room, past 4 bajillion stray dogs. no joke. nuts. what is for breakfast? seafood (think octapus tentaacles) friend rice and chicken and melon soup. what the fuck was the chef thinking? i drink gobs of coffee and rejoice when lunch is good. where do i eat lunch? on a oat in the middle of paradise. seriously, most beautiful place i have ever seen. minus the rough start with stray dogs and shit breakfast, today was one of the best days of my life. we board this crazy boat to do snorkeling and its overcast, im kinda bummed. i am sittin on the front of the boat a la titanic, the skies open up the most beautiful day ever.....althoguh i forgot we are like on the equator and have a nasty sunbutn. go beth. i did put lotion on my face though. im case you were wondering. we go snorkeling in paradise (think leoanrdo dicaprio again...this time in "the beach") and the fish are brave as hell because they are like inches from your eyes, which obviously freaked me out. we get back on the boat ( we were just snokerling by a GIANT rock) and drive to this island with beautil beaches which we swim into and order beers from an authentic tiki bar. like legit. the MOST BEAUTIFUL thing ever. i hope my pictures can explain when i get those. like nuts. i couldnt take it in enoguh. they people here are awesome too which made it all the better. when you are in a situation like this, you bond really quickly and everyone is soooo much fun. after that we drove an hour toa nother hotel. which i am at now with a keyboad splattered with thai letters/symbols and other shit. each key has 3-4 symbols on it. what the fuck. makes no sense. as much as i try, i cannot prnounce a single word of this godforsaken language. i start teaching tomorrow morning where i convince the young minds of asia that america is the best country in the world and submission to husbands is no longer cool. kidding. kind of. but seriously i might teach them how to rap or something. i dont know. i have 3 hours to fill. itll be interesting.

so after we get to this new hotel we go to orientation and i guess i am like close minded and racist or soemthing because i laugh uncontrolably everytime a thai person tries to speak in english. our teacher kept talking about hte beautiful beeeeches (bitches? beaches?) we would see. im so mature. but think of a steroetypical awkward asian and you have nailed it. maybe me students will make me a litle more open minded? its hard to so eman because they peopole are so nice and helpful, even if i dont understand their nods and language.

the hotels arent too bad so far. beds are kind of hard, but really not bad. especailly for how cheap tey are. if i see one more stray dog though, i will buy a snip[er. i am convined i am going to get some awful disease from then. seriously, neuter those bitches. (or beaches? hahahah)


mmm what else what else. i know i should say more, but it hink thats about it. except for the fact i really cant explain how freaking hot it is, which is super when i have to wear conservative clothes. i am the sweaty smelly kid frmo elementary school. i need to start finding food i like or i will go rexo beacuse i will be so sick of fried rice and pad thai. eek. i love pad thai, but 3 meals a day? vomit. i would say the average meal at a restaurant costs baout $3 and that includes a drink. nuts. the smorkleing wa slike $25 but im not even mad. you can bargain a lot for prices, but i feel bad because these people arent exactly loaded....but then again i have to pay for another semester of college. hehe. love getting an F on my transcri0pt. but seriously i did. i checked today. whoops. gooo entrepreneurshiP!

tomorow is oreintation then trying to entertain 6 thai colelge girls for 3 hours. should be interesting.

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