First Be A Woman

---

Lovin' You

FOR SUNRISE AND SUNSET*

Tell me
How it is possible that love can
Squeeze these tears from my eyes
The emotions I feel for this man
Is like a sea that never runs dry
The wish to look at every sunrise
As time and wind pass by
Its movement like furtive mice
And as I breathe in this sight
I gaze into his eyes
Oh, what joy, to have him close beside
There for the sunset, too
Not only the sunrise.
-Kiki K


*All rights reserved of the author. Not to be reproduced.


Our return to Bangkok, to me, started a kind of domesticated life. Instead of visiting the various tourist attractions here, we chose to stay at home or just venture around the area to places like Silom Complex. I can't express the feeling of time creeping past in prose, so I try to do it with the poem above. I cried often even when I was tremendously happy, and 99% of the time with him I was in that remarkable state of joy. The mental and emotional pain at the thought of being apart from him was worse than any physical pain in the world. Sunrise, to me, signify good times, the beginning of new experiences, the promise of hope and a new future. Sunset, on the other hand, while just as beautiful, can signify bad times, like the inevitable passage of time, of growing old, of having difficulties in life with money, health, etc. But from something bad it's possible to derive something good...in other words, a blessing in disguise. No pain, no gain, after all 😊

If this was an example of typical domesticated married life, I must say I love it. Maybe real times (i.e. when we're not on holiday) would be much tougher, as we have to juggle demands of work and leisure while trying to spend time with each other. Also, since we're on holiday, it's just the two of us, without parents, siblings, friends, colleagues, or acquaintances to steal time. But for the moments that we are together, I think all the trouble in the world is worth it.

Silom Complex is like Bangkok's version of Lot 1, a suburban shopping mall that's smaller than Siam but with many shops that offer quite a lot of stuff. Today we went to buy my glasses because my old glasses are scratched beyond belief and ugly as gold shit. I don't look intelligent with the glasses, I just look like a big nerd. After about 45 mins spent in the shop, we finally decided on a pair of Playboy purple frame that I like very much 😊 And it doesn't droop down my nose half the time, which is excellent.

In the night we watched a football match again. In fact the whole weekend it was always me who was initiating the more "male-oriented" activities like visiting the red light district and watching football. And I'm so vulgar whenever I watch football; I curse all the time. But he always supports me in my rather non-female oriented activities and I appreciate that so much.

Love makes a poet out of everyone...c'est vrai...

---