thailand

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Its been the fastest 3 days of the whole trip. I got into Bangkok at 5am three days ago, checked into the hotel and passed out until 2 in the afternoon. Magee and I woke up to our hotel getting struck by lightning and decided that was a good sign that we should get out of bed. Our hotel was in Chinatown and we were soon lost in a market of grilled frogs and the latest hello kitty gear. As hard as we tried to find an indoor restaurant our stomachs settled for a noodle stand in an alley of the market...

Ok quick sidenote - right now were sitting at an internet cafe on the border of Thailand and Laos in front of a few dozen streetside stalls. It just started pouring out but I could have sworn Godzilla was coming by the number of 5 foot asian men and women sprinting in all directions.

...so we sit down on some fisherprice chairs and tables and a lady takes our "order" - She shouted a bunch of shit in Chinese/Thai and we just nodded until she walked back to her food stand. She loaded two bowls with noodles, dumplings, chicken, mushrooms, pork, tofu, sprouts, and a half a dozen other things we never identified. It was delicious. From there we spent the afternoon in 7 different book stores looking for a Thailand guidebook in English. Failing miserably, we headed back to the hotel to meet our new group.

The new group is awesome. Couple of Aussies, some englishmen, a new zealander, a swiss and us Americans. Throw in our Canadian guide and theres a total of 11 i believe. My favorite has to be Iain so far. Aussie who does surveillance work for what seems a lot like the Australian version of the CIA. In James Bond style, he receives a text message every night telling him where to scout out his next mark. Then he spend the day chasing the 'bad guy' taking pictures of his every move and encounter. He loves his job and he loves life - so we love him.

That night after our meet and greet we went out for some delicious Pad Thai and Panang and tried to get to know our group even better as we shouted back and forth through another thunderstorm. After dinner we retreated to a bar on the street and drank some Thai beers and ate the local bar snacks - fried crickets, cock roaches, and maggots. Crunchy.

So then I'm sitting there minding my own business and a 7 year old girl comes out of nowhere holding a boquet of flowers and a note in English asking that I buy her a flower so she can go to school. I tried to ignore her as thats honestly the only way to get out of many an awkward beggar situation in Asia. She wouldnt budge. Sitting down, I was eye to eye with her. As our Torontonian(?) guide held up a laminated card reading 'Keep An Eye On Your Belongings" I reached into my pocket for 20 baht (60 cents) for a dead flower.

"Thumb-whoa!" She shouted, forcing a thumbs up towards my nose. "One, two, fwee, fo! I decwawe a thumb-whoa! Twenty baht!"

Honestly? I put up a good fight, I really did. And I never even bothered to show her that my right thumb is a half inch shorter than my left. But she destroyed me. It was a hard fought battle on both sides, but she destroyed me. No sneak attack, no cherry bomb, she pinned my stubby little thumb to my forefinger like Godzilla pins a 5 foot.. - that reference really never gets old. I forked over her well deserved 20 baht and she was on her way. I turned back to the group ashamed and picked at a cricket leg between my teeth with a tooth pick.

From there Magee and I left the group to visit a street with probably 30 bars, 5 hotels, and a McDonalds. We followed our ears to a roof top bar with live music and overpaid for 2 gigantic beers. Magee tipped the guys with 5 Indian Rupees (12 cents) and the other bartenders started to fight him for it. The rest of a night is a bit of a blur except for realizing how amazing the Irish are. We spent two hours with three Irish guys buying us round after round as we all sang U2 and Oasis songs with the Thai coverband in the bar. They kicked us out at sometime early in the morning and said farewell to our Irish brotheren (who refused to let us pay for anything) as they disappeared arm in arm with several expensive looking Thai women. We went back to our hotel happily alone - there was a good chance those guys would end up with one of their 'women' ending up being a guy as things got interesting.

Besides the disgusting sex slavery of Bangkok its a really cool city. We spent the next day on a water tour fo the citys canals and visited the Reclining Buddha - a 150 foot long buddha statue. Then after another bowl of weird noodles we met up with the group once again to jump on a train to Chang Mai. We were looking forward to passing out and getting some real rest - we were mistaken. We ended up spending the night in the dining car with another sing along with our guide Brandon and the waiteresses. Thats not a spelling error - we just dont know which ones were waiters and which were waitresses - they all looked the same and they all loved Britney Spears songs.

Chang Mai - beautiful. Lots to tell not a lot of time. Magee and I spent the day on a bamboo white water rafting trip. Ok it wasnt really white water, it was brown and pretty tame but we had a blast in the pouring rain finding different ways to tackle eachother (and the boatsman) into the brown river. We dried off in just enough time to visit a Buddhist temple. Chanting monks and a Thai sunset are a great combination. Then Magee and I spent the night touring the city of eating at 3 different restaurants before settling into a rooftop techno bar with Brandon. Brandon ordered a round of 'buckets' which come in silver goblets and includes a combination of redbull and who knows what else.

I woke up on the sidewalk a few hours later to a 60 year old Thai woman kicking me in the ribs. She was sweeping the street at 2am and OBVIOUSLY I was in her way. I headed back to the rooftop where Magee and Brandon had been keeping an eye on me from above. Magee and I headed back to the hotel by way of Burger King and fell asleep. We got up this morning and met our group downstairs in the hotel lobby. Brandon walked in 10 minutes later - we had left him at the bar and he was only just getting home. Apparently he had a run in with a couple of "lady-boys"...

Today was spent traveling to the border and tomorrow we head to Laos...more to come...

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