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Juang is 30, much older than the average girl in these parts of town. She just arrived 6 months ago and she is absolutely gorgeous. By western standards she could easily be a model. But in Bangkok she is only one of thousands beautiful girls who work in bars hoping to be hired for the night… She comes from the NE of Thailand, a village bordering Cambodia, like many of the other ‘gogo girls’ in Bangkok. Unlike the other girls at the bar Juang is however dressed in jeans and a nice black tank top rather than the customary thigh-high black leather boots and small thong bikini. I requested number 12, the small round number pinned to her bathing suit bra, and so she quickly dressed in under five minutes, as it is expected once she is called off the bar or stage.
“I divorced my husband, he was no good” she tells me and laughs nervously covering her mouth awkwardly not wanting anyone else to hear her tale. Finding herself alone and uneducated -she had barely finished the sixth grade since that is as far as the government will provide public education to Thai children- Juang began working in a factory in northern Thailand to support her one daughter and her aging mother. While the work was quite difficult and long hours were expected in the factory, little money came out of it.
I ask her how she found out about the sex industry in Bangkok and she explains it had actually been a bit of surprise to her. “I asked a friend what I could do to make more money” she tells me. Her friend told her she could move to the capital and work serving food or drinks and that she would make a good living that way. Upon her arrival here however -“I was shocked” she says. “I am too shy” she explains. There is no further explanation given - it is understood that it was neither food nor drinks that she was expected to serve to tourists.
“How do you feel now after 6 months” I ask. “I am picky. I am still shy. I don’t go to bed with a man every night”. While most girls are required to in fact do so to cover the minimum commission due to the bar, Juang’s looks offer her such luxury. She can ask for as much as she wants for the night and, as customary, keep the difference above her ‘dues’ thus making up for her ‘free’ nights.
“Are the clients nice?” I continue. “I had to learn” she answers. Juang explains how she now assesses whether a customer will be violent or not by whether he is willing to talk to her for a while or whether he is aggressive and impatient about taking her to his hotel room or one of the close-by motels. “I am independent” she repeats, “I am picky, so I can decide”. As she first thought I was either a cop or a reporter, I wonder whether she is afraid to say anything negative about either the establishment’s working conditions and operating procedures or about her ‘mama sang’ the girl’s ‘manager’. “Can you leave? Can you take a vacation? What if a customer wants to take you abroad?” In Cambodia women -I am unsure about men- are not allowed to legally travel outside of the country before the age of 35. In Thailand however I assume that it is different since she answers “I am free, the customer can buy me off”. I did not have the heart to point out the contradiction in her statement…
Her little skinny friend, who kept on poking her behind her back to get her attention finally musters the courage to talk to me in very broken English “I understand but cannot -“ and she puts her hand over her mouth. I tell her that her English is fine. “I speak Norway” she says. Anon, which like "Juang" is a fictitious name I am using in order to respect the women’s privacy, used to work at the bar. She proudly explains she is now on vacation because she married a client and moved to Norway with him. Today she will be traveling to Chiang Mai to visit her family but in the meantime she is visiting her past work colleagues.
Sex-work in Thailand is not considered ‘prostitution’ as in the west. It is a job. Not necessarily a pleasant job, but a job nonetheless.
“Do you think you will stay here long?” I ask Juang regarding the bar. She laughs again and promptly covers her face “I don’t know”. “Do you also want to find a husband here?” She nods and adds “If someone wants to support me and take care of me that is nice”
When I offered Juang 500 bahts, a standard ‘Bar fine’ to take her home for the night, the equivalent of about $12 US dollars, she replies “But I did not do anything” while shaking her head frantically and raising her hands to push the money away. I explain that she has helped me in my research by talking to me and sharing her experience but in the end I almost have to force her to take the money. She asks me to return the next evening while shaking her head and muttering something in Thai to her friend. It only took a few minutes for me to realize that I might have offended her. In hindsight I now see clearly that I did insult her. These women do not want charity. They work. They earn their living. They do not depend on anyone. Juang left her husband so she would not depend on him.
At the next bar an old man tried to sell us flowers. My friend gave him 100 bahts after a lengthy exchange of jokes about how my supposed husband, Mike Tyson, would beat them both up if he found out I had been given flowers, and thus insisted that the old man keep the flowers. The man gave them to me anyway. Having just pondered my lack of cultural sensitivity in regards to Juang, I decided to give him back all the flowers except for one rose, thus keeping something in return for the money but allowing him to still sell the rest - in short avoiding charity. He smiled a broad toothless smile and touched his heart with his palm while pointing at me “you good soul”. I had to fight not to shed tears in the middle of a pseudo-brothel setting, while incidentally also sitting next to a hard-ass - sorry, but there is no better way to describe him- US law enforcement officer specializing in pedophilia offenses, who probably already thinks it is past my bedtime…surreal…It would be great to end it here, but unfortunately, despite my best intentions and efforts to be sensitive to the cultural differences, I still managed to make a mess of things:
Before leaving us the old man bowed to me, clasping his hands in prayer form in front of his face. It is called a ‘wy’, although I am unsure how it is spelled, and it is very common in Thailand and other countries in the region, especially amongst Buddhists. It is a sign of great respect, especially since in this case the only more respectful ‘wy’ is that done clasping hands above one’s head, reserved for God, Buddha and the King. I returned the wy several times as he would not stop bowing nor leave. My friend finally bid him good night and turned to me “you embarrassed him’ he said.
By bowing back to him I had taken away the compliment, or honor, he was offering to me. He was voluntarily putting me at a higher level than himself, and I was not accepting it….I still have trouble understanding the subtleties of it.
Humility, Karma, ‘nothing is for nothing’ are just a few of deeply-rooted fundamentals of the culture here. Bottom line, the differences in our two cultures run deep, very deep, and they are not necessarily apparent. I have spent a year reading and studying what the West has to say about the world’s problems. It is so easy to judge or decide what is best for others, but the truth is that we do not know. We just don’t. And worst of all, most of the time, we don’t understand what the problem is nor want to. In many instances we go as far as trying to solve a problem that only exists in ‘our’ minds… Good intentions just don’t cut it - it is too easy to screw up, way too easy. It's not as simple as it seems.
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iva doll
Iva Tumbleweed
Fascinating
Very informative entry. I am currently in Japan and hope eventually to travel to Thailand. I do, however, tend to get inflamed whenever I hear anything about their sex industry, usually because of the young age of the girls involved, and because it kills me when women are denied the two golden calfs: choice and respect (being a tough broad myself who demands both). Cool of you to go for an interview before judging, very interesting to hear it from a workers point of view. Iva (ivadoll in japan)